Hm I'm not even sure how to phrase the question, just that I keep finding myself getting super irritable with my husband even though he wants to help and does the parts he can like diaper changes and burping. He offers to give expressed milk to give me a break and more sleep but as I hate pumping and worry about how that will affect my supply I rarely go for that and I usually wake up wanting to feed the baby really often anyway.
I guess how it goes is he'll be up and around (when he's available) while I feed so he can be on hand to help, and I'll be all ehausted and look over and see he him doing leisure stuff like playing a game and just get so resentful. Then if he stops that so I wont be cranky he just sits there kinda staring off lol which is no better and I get cranky again. I know it's not all fair or rational of me.
Eh I don't know if it's ppd or some hormonal thing going. Part of me wishes I could just be alone in a bubble with my baby even though I love my husband and want the help. He had to go out of town and I felt like my arms were gonna fall off just getting so so exhausted doing it all all night, walking and soothing the baby back to sleep, but at the same time in a way I felt less stressed and it felt less complicated just having me and the baby and no one else to focus on.