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Looking for some encouragement please...

Posted by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 11:05 AM
  • 13 Replies

Hi....I'm a first time mom nursing my 8 and a half month old, and things seem to be getting more and more difficult.  I have been having a huge debate in my head as to what to do.  Let me just give you a tiny background....I'm 37 and this is my only child.  I decided long before I had him that I would breastfeed for the first year at least.  I'm a stay at home mom also, so really thought there was no reason why I couldn't do this.  He started off very strong from day 1 and I have been so lucky that's he's had no feeding issues whatsoever!  Truly I am very grateful for this!!  But lately....well within the last 2-3 months....nursing has become a major challenge most of the time.  He currently has 8 teeth, and tends to bite down lightly but enough to make me jump.  He seems to get frustrated with me, he doesn't want to sit still, is constantly distracted no matter what I do.  The worst feeding of the day is the bedtime feeding....I feel like we are in a wrestling match, and can't get him to relax.  For this feeding, I nurse in his room with the nightlight and sound machine on.  He used to nurse right to sleep, but hasn't been doing so in a while.  I've come to dread bedtime.  He bites, pinches, kicks and hits....not so fun.  Oh and he also wakes up anywhere from 3-5 times every night.  He weighs 22lbs and 12oz, so is on the bigger side for his age.  He started solids at 5 and a half months, and loves feeding himself.  I give him 2 meals and 1 snack per day, and they are very small amounts.  He nurses 5 times per day plus the middle of the night feeds. I know my supply is fine, though it tends to drop just before my period and that makes things even worse!  

Sorry this has gotten long.  I guess I'm just wondering whether any of this is normal and if it's ever going to end??  I have tried researching and I have found info about biting and distraction, but none of the techniques suggested seem to work.  He has had a few bottles of pumped milk in his life, but it's not a regular thing (more for when I'm away from him, such as going out to dinner).  He only takes the bottle with some coaxing.  Are any of these things going to stop, or is this what I should expect for the remainder of my nursing experience??  I want what's best for my son, but it just seems like he is fighting me a lot and I'm afraid he may not enjoy nursing any longer, so I don't know what to do.  I would appreciate any advice!!  I just want us both to enjoy this again like we used to for the first 5-6 months..... 

Thank you for your help in advance :-)

by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 11:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:11 PM

First, welcome!

Quoting LuckyClover2413:

Hi....I'm a first time mom nursing my 8 and a half month old, and things seem to be getting more and more difficult.  I have been having a huge debate in my head as to what to do.  Let me just give you a tiny background....I'm 37 and this is my only child.  I decided long before I had him that I would breastfeed for the first year at least.  I'm a stay at home mom also, so really thought there was no reason why I couldn't do this.  He started off very strong from day 1 and I have been so lucky that's he's had no feeding issues whatsoever!  Truly I am very grateful for this!!

All sounds good so far.

 But lately....well within the last 2-3 months....nursing has become a major challenge most of the time.  He currently has 8 teeth, and tends to bite down lightly but enough to make me jump.

When he does that, you unlatch him, tell him "no biting," and resume nursing. Repeat for the next bite. Third bite, take him off, put him down in a safe place where he cannot follow you, and go about your business for five minutes. Then try again and repeat the process if needed. 

He seems to get frustrated with me, he doesn't want to sit still, is constantly distracted no matter what I do.  The worst feeding of the day is the bedtime feeding....I feel like we are in a wrestling match, and can't get him to relax.  For this feeding, I nurse in his room with the nightlight and sound machine on.  He used to nurse right to sleep, but hasn't been doing so in a while.  I've come to dread bedtime.  He bites, pinches, kicks and hits....not so fun.  Oh and he also wakes up anywhere from 3-5 times every night.  He weighs 22lbs and 12oz, so is on the bigger side for his age.  He started solids at 5 and a half months, and loves feeding himself.  I give him 2 meals and 1 snack per day, and they are very small amounts.  He nurses 5 times per day plus the middle of the night feeds. I know my supply is fine, though it tends to drop just before my period and that makes things even worse!  

Sorry this has gotten long.  I guess I'm just wondering whether any of this is normal and if it's ever going to end??  

ALL NORMAL. It would be strange if you didn't have this happen. This is how you start teaching him manners, as outlined above. BE CONSISTENT. The same result EVERY time. And if he's getting solids, he gets NONE till he's nursed nicely. Not one bite. Hungry babies nurse. Babies who've already had their tummies stuffed with solids bite.

I have tried researching and I have found info about biting and distraction, but none of the techniques suggested seem to work.  He has had a few bottles of pumped milk in his life, but it's not a regular thing (more for when I'm away from him, such as going out to dinner).  He only takes the bottle with some coaxing.  Are any of these things going to stop, or is this what I should expect for the remainder of my nursing experience??

Nope. You merely need to be the mean mom.

 I want what's best for my son, but it just seems like he is fighting me a lot and I'm afraid he may not enjoy nursing any longer, so I don't know what to do.  I would appreciate any advice!!  I just want us both to enjoy this again like we used to for the first 5-6 months..... 

If you enjoyed it at all you're ahead of me.,.. I never enjoyed it for 26 months! But seriously, you merely need to put your foot down. It will feel like you're being mean, but I tell you truly, you will be mean to him more often than "nice" over the years. You will hear "I hate you" more often than the opposite. It's OK. Just means you're doing the job right and raising a civilized being. **grin**

Thank you for your help in advance :-)


Precious333
by Group Mod-Julia on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:16 PM
Yeah, i agree. A little bit of tough love. Also, you may want to consider not giving solids until after he has nursed nicely. I wonder if the difference between how he eats solids has encouraged poor nursing manners? I never gave solids this early so i dont know, but it nay be worth looking into.
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:24 PM

One other note; solids are supposed to be an afterthought, only 25% of the diet till he hits the one year mark. 

lilsirsmomma
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:07 PM
All the squirming around sounds like my 6 mo old. I just put him down and try again later.
micheledo
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:28 PM

One other thing - don't let bedtime stress you out.  If he doesn't want to nurse, just put him to bed.  He will learn to lay still if he wants to nurse or to fall asleep without it if he isn't interested.  You don't HAVE to nurse - especially if he isn't interested.  Just nurse at other times.

He's also at a great age for easy distraction.  For most of my kids, this meant more frequent nursing at night.  :(  Kind of a pain, but I also tried offering more often during the day and removing them from distractions - that seems to help.

nikimom926
by New Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:00 PM
I had many of the same issues. Especially the biting. My DD got her first two teeth at just shy of 4 months. I tried the "no biting" and setting her down with little success.

My lifesaver was a trick my friend told me. When the baby bites push their head into your breast for like two seconds. My DD would let go and she learned not to bite. Now at 12.5 months we have no biting issues.
FoxTales
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:22 PM
This is what I did with my son when he bit down. It worked well, and I nursed several months more without many issues. On the off time he did start to bite down, I would do this again or immediately latch him off when I felt his jaw beginning to tighten. He learned pretty quick.

Quoting nikimom926:

I had many of the same issues. Especially the biting. My DD got her first two teeth at just shy of 4 months. I tried the "no biting" and setting her down with little success.



My lifesaver was a trick my friend told me. When the baby bites push their head into your breast for like two seconds. My DD would let go and she learned not to bite. Now at 12.5 months we have no biting issues.
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ilovemykids732
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:27 PM

idk about the pushing baby into the breast method, but with both of my sons I told them a stern 'NO' and took them off the breast for a few minutes and put them down in their crib or something that could contain them safely, walked away for a few minutes and did what I needed to do... :) good luck honey!!

prissy4boys
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:34 PM

ive breastfed 3 of mine, my second and 3rd would bite the crap out of my nipples, and i just stopped breastfeeding them because when they would bite, id say no no, and pat their mouth, all that would do is make them laugh and they'd bite again. .....my 4th,  im still currently BF him, and he has NOT once bitten me. he is 19mo at the moment. GOOD LUCK.

GwenGray
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:49 PM

I agree. 

Quoting gdiamante:

First, welcome!

Quoting LuckyClover2413:

Hi....I'm a first time mom nursing my 8 and a half month old, and things seem to be getting more and more difficult.  I have been having a huge debate in my head as to what to do.  Let me just give you a tiny background....I'm 37 and this is my only child.  I decided long before I had him that I would breastfeed for the first year at least.  I'm a stay at home mom also, so really thought there was no reason why I couldn't do this.  He started off very strong from day 1 and I have been so lucky that's he's had no feeding issues whatsoever!  Truly I am very grateful for this!!

All sounds good so far.

 But lately....well within the last 2-3 months....nursing has become a major challenge most of the time.  He currently has 8 teeth, and tends to bite down lightly but enough to make me jump.

When he does that, you unlatch him, tell him "no biting," and resume nursing. Repeat for the next bite. Third bite, take him off, put him down in a safe place where he cannot follow you, and go about your business for five minutes. Then try again and repeat the process if needed. 

He seems to get frustrated with me, he doesn't want to sit still, is constantly distracted no matter what I do.  The worst feeding of the day is the bedtime feeding....I feel like we are in a wrestling match, and can't get him to relax.  For this feeding, I nurse in his room with the nightlight and sound machine on.  He used to nurse right to sleep, but hasn't been doing so in a while.  I've come to dread bedtime.  He bites, pinches, kicks and hits....not so fun.  Oh and he also wakes up anywhere from 3-5 times every night.  He weighs 22lbs and 12oz, so is on the bigger side for his age.  He started solids at 5 and a half months, and loves feeding himself.  I give him 2 meals and 1 snack per day, and they are very small amounts.  He nurses 5 times per day plus the middle of the night feeds. I know my supply is fine, though it tends to drop just before my period and that makes things even worse!  

Sorry this has gotten long.  I guess I'm just wondering whether any of this is normal and if it's ever going to end??  

ALL NORMAL. It would be strange if you didn't have this happen. This is how you start teaching him manners, as outlined above. BE CONSISTENT. The same result EVERY time. And if he's getting solids, he gets NONE till he's nursed nicely. Not one bite. Hungry babies nurse. Babies who've already had their tummies stuffed with solids bite.

I have tried researching and I have found info about biting and distraction, but none of the techniques suggested seem to work.  He has had a few bottles of pumped milk in his life, but it's not a regular thing (more for when I'm away from him, such as going out to dinner).  He only takes the bottle with some coaxing.  Are any of these things going to stop, or is this what I should expect for the remainder of my nursing experience??

Nope. You merely need to be the mean mom.

 I want what's best for my son, but it just seems like he is fighting me a lot and I'm afraid he may not enjoy nursing any longer, so I don't know what to do.  I would appreciate any advice!!  I just want us both to enjoy this again like we used to for the first 5-6 months..... 

If you enjoyed it at all you're ahead of me.,.. I never enjoyed it for 26 months! But seriously, you merely need to put your foot down. It will feel like you're being mean, but I tell you truly, you will be mean to him more often than "nice" over the years. You will hear "I hate you" more often than the opposite. It's OK. Just means you're doing the job right and raising a civilized being. **grin**

Thank you for your help in advance :-)



I'm a belly dancing and sword fighting mama of 2. I plan on enlisting into the army as soon as possible to serve my country and see some action. I have a great boy friend who loves my kids as much as I love them! If you are interested in belly dance or sword fighting but don't know where to start, go a head and ask me!

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