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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Not liking daycare...

Posted by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 5:54 AM
  • 21 Replies
I started working this week, two days after my son turned one. He does not seem to be adjusting. When I pick him up, as soon as he sees me he bursts into tears. He won't stop crying until we get home and I hold him and feed him. The daycare teachers said he'll get used to it, it's just something new to him, and that they've been having to hold him a lot. They said they realized he loves to cuddle and I told them he's a breastfed baby so that's expected. As soon as I said that they looked at me like I was crazy. I guess none of the other one year olds are still breastfeed. I'm not sure if daycare is for us :(
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 5:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Amycapl
by Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 6:28 AM
It's only been a week.. Give it time! And tbey probably have never met a mama who breastfeeds longer than 6 monyhs... Education opportunity!
beebar
by Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 7:18 AM
I hope it gets better soon. I'm not looking forward to daycare in January my little girl will be 3 months and she loves to latch just for comfort I need to ween her from that soon I know.
audmom1218
by Silver Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 7:47 AM
With dd we had to nurse in the car before we even left the daycare parking lot until she was about 15 months old. (She started at that daycare at 9mo). Just an idea.

Dd still has her days where she needs extra cuddles. Do you have a t shirt or something for him to cuddle with that smells like you? You could send that.
MusherMaggie
by Platinum Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 7:47 AM
Quoting beebar:

I hope it gets better soon. I'm not looking forward to daycare in January my little girl will be 3 months and she loves to latch just for comfort I need to ween her from that soon I know.


She will adjust--no need to wean her from what comforts her. You will just find a way to do this when you are with her. Look up"Bottlefeeding the Breastfed Baby" on kellymom.com for all the information you need for going into daycare.

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bebe_ju-rah
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 8:07 AM
1 mom liked this
No need to wean from that! My son has always comfort nursed. We even cosleep so he's on and off all night. He's been going to a family daycare since 6 weeks (he's 9 months now) and does just fine! She finds other ways to soothe him that don't work for me! :)

Quoting beebar:

I hope it gets better soon. I'm not looking forward to daycare in January my little girl will be 3 months and she loves to latch just for comfort I need to ween her from that soon I know.
BabyPink07
by Bronze Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 8:26 AM
1 mom liked this
My one year old stays home with daddy, and she does that when I get home! She kinda laughs/cries when she sees me, like where you been hiding?!?! That's not funny!
Mom2Just1
by Silver Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 8:43 AM

 My son goes to the nursery at church. He is fine until he sees mommy or daddy. He starts to cry for us .  

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KSK0811
by Megan on Nov. 1, 2013 at 8:56 AM

I can relate. We started my daughter the first time at 8 months. She had only ever been with family and cried all day long. We pulled her out after a week and looking back, that was too soon. We recently tried again, she's 2, she went three days a week and those days were back to back. She cried each and every day all day for 2 weeks. We pulled her out again, because we didn't absolutely need the childcare and it broke our hearts seeing her upset. Even 2 weeks was probably not long enough to give her time to adjust. I'm still doubting that we made the right decision.

heretolisten
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 10:06 AM

I'm so sorry you have to experience this.  My suggestion is to find a beloved, trusted one on one caregiver for your child, preferably in your own home so he has familiarity.  The transition is something that yes, he will adapt to, but the reality is, the emotional trauma stays with the child forever.  I know most people don't care to hear this (or believe it) but it's true.  A child that age is still very dependent and growing emotionally.  Yes, mommy comes back, but what's happening during the day?  At 1, there is really no way for your child to communicate his wants, needs, pains, etc.  If they are already telling you they need to hold him a lot means that there is room for them to "teach him" to be alone and say no.  They are not his mother and therefore have no emotional attachment to him and who knows what frustration it can lead to.  To be in charge of a group of children and unable to spend the dedicated one on one time for emotional stability, IDK, to me it's a recipe for disaster.  BF child or not, children don't cry for no reason.  To "force" the child into a transition like this is not something I would ever do.  Your child is your blessing and it's your duty to protect it. I'm a mother who regards emotional pain as something just as relevant as physical pain.  So yes, I would definitely try to find a one on one caregiver situation to help ease his distress.  Eventually he may start to "adapt" to this daycare business, but at what cost?  Good luck.   

asaffell
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 12:43 PM

Wow. This is inflammatory and ridiculous, and completely uncalled for. Do you have any proof of the emotional trauma? Do you have anything to back this up?


Quoting heretolisten:

I'm so sorry you have to experience this.  My suggestion is to find a beloved, trusted one on one caregiver for your child, preferably in your own home so he has familiarity.  The transition is something that yes, he will adapt to, but the reality is, the emotional trauma stays with the child forever.  I know most people don't care to hear this (or believe it) but it's true.  A child that age is still very dependent and growing emotionally.  Yes, mommy comes back, but what's happening during the day?  At 1, there is really no way for your child to communicate his wants, needs, pains, etc.  If they are already telling you they need to hold him a lot means that there is room for them to "teach him" to be alone and say no.  They are not his mother and therefore have no emotional attachment to him and who knows what frustration it can lead to.  To be in charge of a group of children and unable to spend the dedicated one on one time for emotional stability, IDK, to me it's a recipe for disaster.  BF child or not, children don't cry for no reason.  To "force" the child into a transition like this is not something I would ever do.  Your child is your blessing and it's your duty to protect it. I'm a mother who regards emotional pain as something just as relevant as physical pain.  So yes, I would definitely try to find a one on one caregiver situation to help ease his distress.  Eventually he may start to "adapt" to this daycare business, but at what cost?  Good luck.   



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