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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

I'm thinking about weaning my daughter, but I feel guilty

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 8:27 PM
  • 14 Replies

My daughter will be 30 months old tomorrow. We are still nursings and co-sleeping. There are some nights when she will go through the majority of the nights without nursing. Other nights she is all over me all night long, I'm exhausted and feel like crap those days. Last night she was waking me up to nurse every little bit and today I've had a head ache and just feel run down, not to mention one of my eyes is swollen. I work part time and when I am home with her, there are many times all she wants to do is nurse. It's getting to the point where when I am holding her and she is nursing she tends to chew and and scratch/pinch. I'm getting so frustrated and I really feel like I'm ready to wean her. My ds8, was unble to nurse and my ds6 I nursed for a year. DD and I are going on 2 1/2 years, but for some reason I feel guilty about weaning. She does sleep in her own bed somtimes, but she always wakes up and gets in bed with us. She doesn't limit nursing at night, she is an all day nurser and is content to nurse for hours at a time during the day.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out has anyone else felt gulity weaning, and what helped?

by on Feb. 8, 2014 at 8:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
happymommy1105
by Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 8:32 PM
Wow.

I set limits with my 15 month old and will tell him no we aren't nursing right.now.if I don't feel.like it.or am busy
preacherskid
by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 8:58 PM

If it's time, it's time.  No guilt over being done.  My ydd is just over three and still nurses 2-5 times a day.  I work ft, and we nurse in the morning before I get them out to work, right after we get home, once before bedtime, and on weekends before nap time, and maybe once more at random.  She goes through wanting to nurse more, at this point I am able to tell her mommy milk is for naptime, sleepy time, etc.  You might want to start by setting simple boundaries-we only nurse on the couch, nowhere else.  If I am busy, or doing something else, she can wait.  She waits until after eating if she asks for milk at meal time.  "Not now" and "in a few minutes" are easy ways to space it out for us.  Putting those limits has kept me from going bonkers with her nursing.

K8wizzo
by Kate on Feb. 8, 2014 at 9:07 PM
I'd start with night weaning and then set some daytime limits, like only at wake ups and lay downs. To nightwean at her age, I'd let her know that boobies/milkies/whatever are going to sleep when she does and they won't wake up until the sun comes up or daddy's alarm goes off. After you nurse ag bedtime, tell them good night and tuck them into your bra. If she wakes and asks to nurse, remind her that they are sleeping and just rub her back and cuddle her until she's back to sleep. My ds asked for about 4 nights and then not again at night time. After you tackle that, talk to her about times that she may nurse that work for you, whatever those are. If she asks outside of those times, just remind her of the new rules. If she throws a fit, don't give in. As far as the nursing manners go, if she hits, scratches, bites, kicks, etc, end the feeding, put her down, and tell her that she only gets to nurse when she is nice or gentle. Don't resume that feeding, she can try again at the next one.
K8wizzo
by Kate on Feb. 8, 2014 at 9:09 PM
2 moms liked this
Also, feel free to end a session when you're ready for it to be over. I told my ds he had one more twinkle twinkle, then I'd sing twinkle twinkle little star and unlatch him. It got to the point where he would sing it while nursing when he was ready to be done, lol.
MusherMaggie
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 9:10 PM
See Drjaygordon.com for some really good help.
polkaspots
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 9:12 PM
I'd start with night weaning too. Don't feel guilty. We night weaned at eighteen months.
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yellow14
by Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 9:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I have a 17 month old who co sleeps and nurses, and he wakes up 2 to 3 times a night to nurse. I am pregnant also and I am trying to wean him from nursing at night, so far it's not going good. I feel guilty too if I say no and he cries for it.
MommyO2-6631
by Leslie on Feb. 8, 2014 at 10:11 PM
That's too adorable!

Quoting K8wizzo: Also, feel free to end a session when you're ready for it to be over. I told my ds he had one more twinkle twinkle, then I'd sing twinkle twinkle little star and unlatch him. It got to the point where he would sing it while nursing when he was ready to be done, lol.
TiffanyMarie80
by Tiffany on Feb. 8, 2014 at 10:17 PM
This, 100%! :) night weaning, daytime limits, and nursing manners will help so, so much!

Quoting K8wizzo: I'd start with night weaning and then set some daytime limits, like only at wake ups and lay downs. To nightwean at her age, I'd let her know that boobies/milkies/whatever are going to sleep when she does and they won't wake up until the sun comes up or daddy's alarm goes off. After you nurse ag bedtime, tell them good night and tuck them into your bra. If she wakes and asks to nurse, remind her that they are sleeping and just rub her back and cuddle her until she's back to sleep. My ds asked for about 4 nights and then not again at night time. After you tackle that, talk to her about times that she may nurse that work for you, whatever those are. If she asks outside of those times, just remind her of the new rules. If she throws a fit, don't give in. As far as the nursing manners go, if she hits, scratches, bites, kicks, etc, end the feeding, put her down, and tell her that she only gets to nurse when she is nice or gentle. Don't resume that feeding, she can try again at the next one.
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Feb. 8, 2014 at 10:23 PM

No need for guilt if murder hasn't been done. I'm not saying your feeling isn't normal; we see it dozens of times a day.

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