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In a crisis

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:06 PM
  • 5 Replies

I used to be a member here but was somehow removed- possibly from lack of activity- BUT I have been in a rather serious crisis for the past 14 or so months. I have had to live without my children for over a year now and my (abusive) ex has my children... he got a TRO against me when I fled with them to a women's shelter. He used extremely twisted evidence to get them away from me which gave him the TRO regarding Gregory's frenulum incident and called it "failure to thrive" which the drs. were just itching to do. He also said that they were in "immediate and irreparable damage" in my care- which is UTTERLY UNTRUE!!!! I feel as if I have been so close to literally falling apart emotionally-speaking without my Babies. They really need me. I am their mommy and I don't know how they are coping without me in their lives. I know I am not coping without them in my life. I am trying to get legal assistance but have no money. Partnership's hands are tied by red tape and have been unable to help me because of the TRO...  to add to the agony of it all is that the drs. DID force me to wean Gregory before either of us were ready to wean. I hope you BF'ing moms would understand my anguish... I did pump every drop I could for him a year ago but Ex was obviously not wanting to give him the milk. But being without my Babies is UTTER AGONY for me!!!

        

      

      

 This picture was taken on the only occasion I have seen my children since December 6, 2012- when BJ (just over 5 years old at the time) and Gregory were ripped away from me. Gregory was literally pulled out of my arms at the age of 15,5 months and I was not even allowed the visitation the judge arranged for me in the TRO. Please- no malicious comments about me! I need legal help and have no money. I am absolutely desperate by speaking about this problem on any public site.

        

BJ (6 years old in this picture) literally leapt into my arms the first time he had seen me in over 8 months at that time. It has now been 6 months almost to the day (Feb 18' 2014 will be 6 months) since we saw each other last. I do NOT count "Skype" as a "visit" it is utterly cruel to not be able to hold my children and comfort them and interact with them in a normal one-on-one basis and it is so far from what the judge ordered.

 

       

This is the most recent picture I have of them...

              Ticker id: TONF

                Ticker id: hiSx

by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:06 PM
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Replies (1-5):
thundersky
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:52 PM

i dont have any advice for you but i feel for you. what state do you live in?


gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:59 PM

I take it you are working with a battered women's group?

thundersky
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 8:00 PM

this place might help

http://www.aboutthechildren.org/index.html?gclid=CPz_v9P60bwCFQNufgodvSYAfg

Junebaby18
by Nannerz on Feb. 16, 2014 at 11:08 PM
I know how you feel. I had my two oldest taken away from me by my exdh 5 years ago. They moved to another state from me and I haven't seen them since. My ex won't even send pictures of them to me.
Mommy2BJ
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 1:38 PM

 I am trying to get back in contact with a Women's Shelter but left the one I was in (which was only a temporary shelter anyway). I was in terrible shock after my children were taken away from me. The women were putting too much pressure on me- trying to convince me to divorce my estranged husband. I was especially needing legal help at that point- but no-one knew how to help me legally speaking. I ended up leaving the shelter and asked my sister-in-law if she would take me in for a while. They also did not help me with more than the initial answer to the original summons. I then moved to a camper that he owns and lived there for 6 months. A friend of a friend heard what had happened to me and rescued me from the camper. The camper had become moldy and I was ill from the mold and lack of nutrition. I am currently living in South Carolina but need to make my way back to TN where my children are. I will slowly be able to make it back to Partnership- but the TRO is prohibiting me from receiving help from them. I am not giving up on my children. I know they need me and I need them...

I have contacted About_the_children but they are too expensive for me to be able to pay for. My parents live in South Africa and the $/ZAR is much too weak to be able to spend that amount of money. The ZAR is something like (over 10 ZAR to the $). My parents are pensioners and it took every penny they had and they borrowed a whole lot more to pay the initial amount and I can't even get a refund for what I paid them. ATC works well for people who are middle-class US Citizens and just don't want to pay a lawyer.

I am grateful that no-one has commented the way people usually do- the first thing out of people's mouths when they hear of my situation is "get a job"!!!! Well; I guess I will be doing so if I can- but I do not want to make my permanent residence 300 + miles away from my children. I was also born with a brain tumor and have limitations as to what employment I can do because of that. I was a stay-at-home mommy until this nightmare happened. I did encourage and help BJ a lot in relation to getting him ready for school is concerned. BJ was much more advanced than poor Little Gregory is now- despite the fact that the woman who thinks that she is in charge of my children- was a preschool educator. She worked in the formal sector well over 10 years ago and is now not employable herself. Gregory would be speaking in full sentences by now if he was truly taken care of. If they would just follow his curve in relation to emotional development and especially language development the way they insist that he "tracks" as far as his weight is concerned- they would see that he really has not improved/developed very much at all in THAT respect!!! They are neglecting them immensely emotionally speaking. They BOTH NEED their mommy!!! (and their Mommy NEEDS them!!!!)!!!!

 

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               Ticker id: hiSx

 

          

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