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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

dh wants me to stop breastfeeding *UPDATE*

Posted by on May. 3, 2014 at 11:33 AM
  • 60 Replies
But I don't want to give up. He wants me to exclusively pump. Here's why...

The first 2 1/2 weeks were torture for me to breastfeed. Baby wasn't latching correctly and then would fall asleep immediately upon latching and was extremely difficult to wake. But she was gaining and had good diaper counts so I knew it would get better.

Well now she latches perfectly, but eats every hour...had for the last 2 weeks. Which would be fine if I slept at all lol. Here's the problem. Sometimes she will latch, then pull away. This will happen several times until she gets so frustrated that she will literally have her mouth over the nipple and act like she can't find it! This will go on for at least 5-10 minutes and will happen at nearly every feeding at night. So at night she will constantly want to feed because she's not getting enough. The last 3 nights and days, I have not slept.

We saw a lactation consultant yesterday. She said to make sure my back is supported at every feeding (too hard to do in bed, but I'm so tired I can barely get out of bed!), skin to skin at night, use extra pillows or a towel on top of, or under, the nursing pillow so that my boobs and baby's head are supported and I don't have to constantly hold my breast (my breasts are very large so they need to be lifted the whole feeding for her to stay latched until she's older). I tried all of these last night, but my dh only saw the skin to skin as he was sleeping! Quite honestly, it's much too hard for me to nurse in bed. Problem is that if I get out of bed for any length of time more than 2 minutes, I can't go back to sleep! So tagging her to the nursery or downstairs to nurse would be just as futile for my sleep.

Last night was awful! I fight with her all night. Finally, I woke dh up and told him to take her. I put a pacifier in her mouth because I couldn't handle the crying anymore. I couldn't handle her shaking her head over my nipple as if it wasn't there and then her poor cries of hunger. I was much too frustrated and was worried...so he took her downstairs and fed her twice while I slept. He told me I cannot breastfeed anymore unless I can keep from raising my voice, crying, and saying God hates me. He has lost faith in my ability to do that. So he has lost faith in my ability to breastfeed. And now I'm depressed and feeling like the worst mother on the planet.

UPDATE: So dh and I talked late this morning. He is witted about me and the baby. Worried that I'm not taking care of myself and worried she's not eating at night. He apologized for snapping. Also, he's taking me to the store to look at better pillows.
by on May. 3, 2014 at 11:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
micheledo
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2014 at 11:37 AM

Aw, hon  I'm so sorry.

I know the moms here will have a ton of advice.  But keep in mind your child has a personality too!  She sounds like she is making it difficult too.  :)  My second born was SO impatient (still is).  He would shake his head and scream with the nipple right by him, and not latch on.  He wanted IMMEDIATE milk when he latched on and if it wasn't there he lost it and couldn't seem to latch on.  Nights were the WORST!!!  Hang in there.  I completely understand the yelling and frustration on your end.  Stay patient, keep helping the little one learn it - and learn patience! :)  She'll get it.  I promise!

Meanwhile, you need to practice nursing laying down so that it isn't impossible at nighttime.  AND sleep EVERY SINGLE opportunity you have.  It will make the nights a bit more bearable.  Believe me - everything else can be put on hold (even though it seems impossible).

Other moms will probably talk about lip and tongue ties - but I don't know much about that.

juniebug11
by on May. 3, 2014 at 11:55 AM
Aw I'm so sorry! I have been there. When my son was just a few days old. You are so exhausted and I couldn't get him to latch. I was in tears. I was so upset so dh went and got me a hand pump . I cried the whole time because I wanted to breast feed

Just keep trying. It's ok, my son is now 15 months old. Just relax , that is key & sleep as much as you can. Dh is prob exhausted too.
justone_jen
by Jen on May. 3, 2014 at 12:03 PM
3 moms liked this
She's three weeks? This is the worst growth spurt ever, in my opinion. It will pass. It's hell, but it's not forever.

You need to take a deep breath and learn to trust the process. If you're seeing diapers, you're doing fine. Tell me more about what happens when she pulls from your nipple. Are you spraying?

Your husband isn't being supportive. I'd tell mine to shut up, but I'm one of the more abrasive women here, lol.
wantthatbaby46
by on May. 3, 2014 at 12:05 PM
She's five weeks. She's gained 3 pounds since birth. I'm not spraying when she pulls off, but I'm leaking everywhere.

Quoting justone_jen: She's three weeks? This is the worst growth spurt ever, in my opinion. It will pass. It's hell, but it's not forever.

You need to take a deep breath and learn to trust the process. If you're seeing diapers, you're doing fine. Tell me more about what happens when she pulls from your nipple. Are you spraying?

Your husband isn't being supportive. I'd tell mine to shut up, but I'm one of the more abrasive women here, lol.
justone_jen
by Jen on May. 3, 2014 at 12:06 PM
Then she's getting plenty. Did you see my question about spraying?

Quoting wantthatbaby46: She's five weeks. She's gained 3 pounds since birth.

Quoting justone_jen: She's three weeks? This is the worst growth spurt ever, in my opinion. It will pass. It's hell, but it's not forever.

You need to take a deep breath and learn to trust the process. If you're seeing diapers, you're doing fine. Tell me more about what happens when she pulls from your nipple. Are you spraying?

Your husband isn't being supportive. I'd tell mine to shut up, but I'm one of the more abrasive women here, lol.
wantthatbaby46
by on May. 3, 2014 at 12:08 PM
Sorry phone issues. I edited my reply lol

Quoting justone_jen: Then she's getting plenty. Did you see my question about spraying?

Quoting wantthatbaby46: She's five weeks. She's gained 3 pounds since birth.

Quoting justone_jen: She's three weeks? This is the worst growth spurt ever, in my opinion. It will pass. It's hell, but it's not forever.

You need to take a deep breath and learn to trust the process. If you're seeing diapers, you're doing fine. Tell me more about what happens when she pulls from your nipple. Are you spraying?

Your husband isn't being supportive. I'd tell mine to shut up, but I'm one of the more abrasive women here, lol.
justone_jen
by Jen on May. 3, 2014 at 12:12 PM
http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/fast-letdown/

Is forceful let-down the problem?

Does your baby do any of these things?

Gag, choke, strangle, gulp, gasp, cough while nursing as though the milk is coming too fast
Pull off the breast often while nursing
Clamp down on the nipple at let-down to slow the flow of milk
Make a clicking sound when nursingSpit up very often and/or tend to be very gassy
Periodically refuse to nurse
Dislike comfort nursing in general

If some of this sounds familiar to you, you probably have a forceful let-down. This is often associated with too much milk (oversupply). Some mothers notice that the problems with fast letdown or oversupply don’t start until 3-6 weeks of age. Forceful let-down runs the gamut from a minor inconvenience to a major problem, depending upon how severe it is and how it affects the nursing relationship.

justone_jen
by Jen on May. 3, 2014 at 12:14 PM
Your back doesn't necessarily need support. I have large boobs as well, and the easiest way for me to nurse was laying down, with her on top of me. This helped with my oversupply issues also.
jackiewal10
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2014 at 12:17 PM

The first 6-8 weeks are THE WORST.  And you are almost there!!  I would also tell my DH to shut up.  He needs to chill out and be more supportive.  It doesn't immediately get better after that first 6-8 weeks, but what is happening NOW is completely normal.  Your DD is doing what SHE is supposed to do.  All that nursing, fussing at the breast, etc. that is going on.  THAT is what is bringing in and establishing your supply.  I would personally just keep at it.  She's gained beautifully!!  Why mess with that, ya know??  Pumping long term is SO SO SO hard.  And it gets harder as baby gets older.  Feeding at the breast directly starts out hard and gets (and STAYS) easier as baby gets older.

BabyPink07
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2014 at 12:57 PM
Tell him to stuff it until 8 weeks. It gets so much easier here on out! Asking for a break shouldn't be a deal breaker. Good luck!
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