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Breastfeeding Moms Breastfeeding Moms

Planning on breastfeeding.

Posted by on May. 16, 2014 at 10:57 AM
  • 16 Replies
I posted maybe a month and received some really well educated responses. I feel like I learned a lot from you ladies. But I really don't think my fiancé is convinced that I'll be able to ebf without having to supplement this time either. I explained to him that I've done research and I know what I did wrong with DS ( age 5 now) and that I know I can do this..I will make sure of it. But he's saying " yeah but if the same thing happens again and you need to supplement don't beat yourself up over it". I feel like he doesn't think I can do it :/ now I'm second guessing myself and I know that's not his intentions.. But still..
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by on May. 16, 2014 at 10:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MaryJarrett
by Mary on May. 16, 2014 at 11:01 AM
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Have you spoken to him about how saying that makes you feel insecure?
I would start there. He needs to be your rock. He's probably trying to be helpful, be he needs to see that he's undermining you.
loveyourenemy
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 11:06 AM
Yeah I did and he said he believes in me but he just doesn't want me to get upset if I need to give the baby formula. I just can't even think about having to do that, so I'm doing research and planning ahead this time for what problems can happen and what I can do to still nurse if it does happen

Quoting MaryJarrett: Have you spoken to him about how saying that makes you feel insecure?
I would start there. He needs to be your rock. He's probably trying to be helpful, be he needs to see that he's undermining you.
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hnischke
by Heather on May. 16, 2014 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this
He's trying to be supportive and doesn't want to see you crushed if things didn't go well. Talk to him and tell him why you need him to be supportive if this and not throw the "but if you can't" line out there. Explain how it makes you feel.
MusherMaggie
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2014 at 11:29 AM
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Do not listen to him. Tell him to stay out of your face if he can't be supportive. Give him some of what you're reading. Ask him how he thinks the human race survived long enough to invent formula!
loveyourenemy
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 12:52 PM
Thanks. He's not trying to seem like a jerk, but I'm sticking to how I feel. He knows breast is best but I feel like I know a lot more now and I can do this.

Quoting MusherMaggie: Do not listen to him. Tell him to stay out of your face if he can't be supportive. Give him some of what you're reading. Ask him how he thinks the human race survived long enough to invent formula!
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Cruz-s-mommy
by Amanda on May. 16, 2014 at 1:12 PM
This, tell him not to bring up formula at all. Let him know you know what went wrong last time and you are much better prepared this time. Tell him if and when supplementation is needed,you will be the one to bring it up then, and until that point you don't want to hear about it.

Good luck mama! No doubts, you can do this! We are here for support! 😊

Quoting hnischke: He's trying to be supportive and doesn't want to see you crushed if things didn't go well. Talk to him and tell him why you need him to be supportive if this and not throw the "but if you can't" line out there. Explain how it makes you feel.
gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on May. 16, 2014 at 2:34 PM

Tell him if he doubts you that much then he should have you admitted to the hospital RIGHT NOW and chained to a bed to not move till the kid is out of the womb. And from there, baby doesn't get to go home. Baby stays in the care of medical professionals till he's of school age, and then gets handed over to educators. For that matter, the 5 year old should be stayiong at school 'round the clock.

In other words... if he can't trust you to breastfeed, he shouldn't trust you or himself to do a darned thing in parenting!

gdiamante
by Group Mod - Gina on May. 16, 2014 at 2:36 PM

And as to formula... it exists for a reason. You will have a hard time finding a mom who HASn'T used it.

The only time a mom has failed is when she's intentionally murdered her own children. NOTHING ELSE QUALIFIES. So if you wind up using formula, no need to get upset. Tell him you'll only get upset if the two of you have to go buy a coffin. (And then if he persists in being stupid, tell him you're coffin-shopping for HIM.)

Yeah, I give no quarter to those with raging cases of Y Chromosome Defect. **grin**

LifesALilHectic
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 3:07 PM

Don't stress because that can affect your let down. If you want to EBF then do it. I think you hubby is just trying to make you feel like your not a failure if you have to supplement. Some women do not produce enough and I think he just doesn't want you to to stress or blame yourself if it doesnt work out

loveyourenemy
by Member on May. 16, 2014 at 4:49 PM
Yeah I know that's what he's doing I'm just so sensitive. My problem was a latching issue that led to losing a lot of my milk. When my milk came in a had a lot of it... Like really a lot of it haha. But I lost it because he was latched on wrong and he was my first baby plus I was really young so I just assumed it was suppose to hurt that bad. Eventually we got it right and I was able keep the little bit of milk I had going but needed to supplement a lot to get his weight up. I know I can do better this time though

Quoting LifesALilHectic:

Don't stress because that can affect your let down. If you want to EBF then do it. I think you hubby is just trying to make you feel like your not a failure if you have to supplement. Some women do not produce enough and I think he just doesn't want you to to stress or blame yourself if it doesnt work out

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