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Please tell me I'm not being too mean, because it feels like I am.

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 5:52 PM
  • 9 Replies

Maddox is 14 months old. I've always said I'd never allow a child of mine to just walk up and lift my shirt to nurse. However Maddox has gotten into just that habit. I'm trying to be consistent but it's really hard. He can say please when he wants nearly anything but today is downright refusing to say it when he wants to nurse. Instead he keeps fussing and pulling my shirt up.....and giving me this face. I just gave in. I know it was bad but he was getting too upset. 

by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 5:52 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Luvmy2babies22
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 5:59 PM
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I had a very similar experience with my 2nd. At 14 months she could say "please" but was stubborn. One day, she asked for her mid day bottle with no "please". I asked her to say "please" and she refused. I went about my business while she screamed for her milk. Every 5 mins or so i would check in and ask her to say "please" but she absolutely refused. At one point I even had her on my lap and she was saying all of her words but when we got to "please" she just stared at me, the little booger. I waited her out thru a 45 min tantrum and she finally gave up and said "please". We never had that issue again.

I even called my hubby mid tantrum and he said "whew, can't wait to see you guys when she's a teenager" lol.
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Luvmy2babies22
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 6:07 PM
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Side note but some of the best parenting advice I ever heard was "pick your battles but once you pick one, don't ever lose". You certainly may regret picking it once you are in it but as soon as you cave, they've learned to amp it up next time. If that was truly a boundary you want to enforce then you have to remain consistent in your expectations.
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aehanrahan
by Group Admin - Amy on Sep. 23, 2014 at 6:11 PM
I did the same thing with Johnathan. I taught him to sign nurse and please. He learned that he had to ask nicely or he didn't get to nurse.
gdiamante
by Gina on Sep. 23, 2014 at 6:22 PM
1 mom liked this

My philosophy is that if you're not mean when needed you're not doing the job. **grin** We're not raising children, we're building adults, y'know?

You need to be consistent no matter HOW unhappy it makes him. Otherwise you'll just confuse him about what's OK and what's not.

(My son has known since age two that I AM the meanest mommy in the world... came about when he wanted something and I said no. TRust me, 13 years later it helps!)


MusherMaggie
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 6:31 PM
Look up Nursing Manners on kellymom.com. No, you do not have to allow unacceptable behavior. If he goes for your shirt, put him in a safe, boring place if you're at home and walk away from him for a few minutes.
mamabens
by Miranda on Sep. 23, 2014 at 6:50 PM

Oh I know! I also have a 12, 10 and 5 yr old. I've been told today alone about 5 times by the 10 yr old how mean I am and how much she doesn't like me. 

Quoting gdiamante:

My philosophy is that if you're not mean when needed you're not doing the job. **grin** We're not raising children, we're building adults, y'know?

You need to be consistent no matter HOW unhappy it makes him. Otherwise you'll just confuse him about what's OK and what's not.

(My son has known since age two that I AM the meanest mommy in the world... came about when he wanted something and I said no. TRust me, 13 years later it helps!)



tabi_cat1023
by Group Admin -Tabitha on Sep. 24, 2014 at 8:44 AM

Just vwork at doing hand over hand signing for milk(just squeezing the fist) and then allow him to nurse..that way you are teaching (while being mean)

mamabens
by Miranda on Sep. 24, 2014 at 12:37 PM

Yeah, he used to do the sign for milk and stopped. Last night I refused to nurse until he asked(be it milk or please), finally he started signing milk again.  

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Just vwork at doing hand over hand signing for milk(just squeezing the fist) and then allow him to nurse..that way you are teaching (while being mean)


3MusketeerMama
by on Sep. 24, 2014 at 4:19 PM

 Mine does that sometimes at home (she's 19 months) but I really try to encourage her to use manners and politely ask for num nums instead of pawing at my shirt, especially while we are out. Be consistent and don't give in, even if it's hard. He is battling your will right now because he knows you will give in, especially since he says please for everything else. It's not being mean, it's being a parent and instilling positive behaviors!  :)

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