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Husband wants me to wean our son at 1 year, no exceptions

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:20 PM
  • 32 Replies

I always thought I would nurse for 6 months exclusively, then introduce solids gradually until my son was 1 year, at which point he'd be weaned completely. But now that I'm breastfeeding I don't want to give it up (and I know he doesn't either!). I am becoming more and more interested in baby-led weaning. The problem is my husband is VERY against me nursing past 1 year. He says that I am going back on what I originally said (obviously things are different when you're actually experiencing them!) and thinks it is unnatural or not right or something along those lines. I've tried telling him all the facts about breastfeeding past a year is completely normal in most cultures and it is the best nutrition for a baby's growing brain, etc. but nothing. I feel all alone - my mom didn't breastfeed and neither did my husband's mom, so neither of them understand what it's like. My friends are all single and I can't talk with them about marriage let alone breastfeeding problems. And the one person I know currently breastfeeding has a 9 month old and they are currently in the beginning stages of weaning. I really want to do what's best for my son and I believe that only he and I should decided when it's time to wean. 

Has anyone else been in the same situation? How did you deal with the pressure?  

by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ceckyl
by Kyla on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:30 PM
5 moms liked this
I would just say when he has the boobs, he absolutely doesn't have to nurse past 1. And ask him to show you where it is recommended to quite at 1. (The WHO says minimum 2 years)
Greenbird15
by Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this

No he didn't! I'm sorry he is pressuring you!! I nursed our daughter for 13 1/2 mos & it was mutual weaning, she only nursed 1 time a day (not before bed or nap) then 1 day I felt like what if I just skip it?? The next day I'm like ow I'm full I need to nurse-guess what! She didn't want it! Perfect timing, I think I picked up on her cue that it was time. Follow what you think is right! It is your body & other cultures nurse for a lot longer than a yr!

mcmlxxxv
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 9:58 PM
2 moms liked this
Ask him what he fears. An order like that is based on some sort of fear. It might help you to get to the bottom of that.
Wynifred
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Many women nurse past a year. It seems strange that he would tell you to stop, what is he so insecure about?

olivejuice2
by Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:44 PM
3 moms liked this
Does he think something magically changed about the baby or your breasts the instant the child turns one? Do his son's emotional and nutritional needs suddenly cease to be important when that first birthday is reached? I am completely baffled by the mindset that nursing must abruptly end at the 1 year milestone regardless of what mom and baby need or want.

I hope you're able to have some calm conversations with him in which he is able to rationally explain what he's thinking.
darciegenito
by Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 10:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I really don't understand why he feels so uncomfortable. about it.  I could understand in public because my husband is like that, and I don't even do that (not against it at all.. just not comfortable myself so I nurse in private) but after a year is becoming increasingly more common.  It sounds like you need to sit down and talk to him and find out why. Breast milk is more nutritious than regular cows and goats milk ALWAYS, no matter how old the baby is.  It still has more nutrition.

audmom1218
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:22 PM
2 moms liked this

Wow, I'm sorry he doesn't respect you enough to value your opinion and research!  I would put it to him this way: You have all of the evidence and support of the medical community telling you why you SHOULD continue on two AT LEAST two years and longer if mutually desired.  Now the burden of proof is on him to find EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE of why you should wean at a year.  


I look at it this way, my husband knows cars, cooking, home repair, etc.  I trust his decision making skills in researching the possible decisions and making the best one for our family.  He offers me the same respect when it comes to finacial planning, car-seat safety and nursing.  He hasn't researched those things and he trusts that my research has given me the best possible answers.   I would figure out why the lack of respect for you and solve that problem or this may lead to further resentment and issues in your relationship down the road. 

Luvmy2babies22
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:26 PM
3 moms liked this
I absolutely do not understand where these men come from. I wouldn't even bother making a case at this point. Leave some literature out if you feel the need but I wouldn't argue because he's coming from a place of ignorance and not willing to open his mind.

He doesn't have to support you though it would be nice if he would. If you want to continue nursing, nurse. What's he going to do to stop you?

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aehanrahan
by Group Admin - Amy on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:16 AM
All of this!

Quoting audmom1218:

Wow, I'm sorry he doesn't respect you enough to value your opinion and research!  I would put it to him this way: You have all of the evidence and support of the medical community telling you why you SHOULD continue on two AT LEAST two years and longer if mutually desired.  Now the burden of proof is on him to find EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE of why you should wean at a year.  

I look at it this way, my husband knows cars, cooking, home repair, etc.  I trust his decision making skills in researching the possible decisions and making the best one for our family.  He offers me the same respect when it comes to finacial planning, car-seat safety and nursing.  He hasn't researched those things and he trusts that my research has given me the best possible answers.   I would figure out why the lack of respect for you and solve that problem or this may lead to further resentment and issues in your relationship down the road. 

Leahc129
by New Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 7:42 AM

Same here - I'm not a huge fan of nursing in public. I am a stay-at-home mom with no car while my husband's at work, so I do the majority of nursing at home anyway. I feel like no one would even have to know that I was still breastfeeding past a year!

Quoting darciegenito:

I really don't understand why he feels so uncomfortable. about it.  I could understand in public because my husband is like that, and I don't even do that (not against it at all.. just not comfortable myself so I nurse in private) but after a year is becoming increasingly more common.  It sounds like you need to sit down and talk to him and find out why. Breast milk is more nutritious than regular cows and goats milk ALWAYS, no matter how old the baby is.  It still has more nutrition.


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