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How do you deal with no libido?

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:34 AM
  • 14 Replies
Mine is nonexistent and I hate it. I feel bad for my DH. He doesn't want me to just do it for his sake but honestly right now I feel like I could go the rest of my life w/out it and be totally content!

I nursed my last baby for 1yr and never remember having THIS much of a lack of desire :(

by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mostlymaydays
by Group Admin - Stacy on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:45 AM
1 mom liked this
A glass of wine is the only hope my dh has.

My dd is 7 months and I can count on one hand minus 2 fingers how many times we dtd. I've had this problem after every baby. Usually it gets a little better by 9 months. I've just gotten past the stage where it's totally repulsive. I still have zero interest but at least thinking of kissing doesn't make me want to puke. Mother nature has a 2ay of guarding resources. My dh isn't thrilled but he knows pushing me too hard past my comfort usually backfires.

I always hear other people say they can fake it til they make it, and that once you get going it's enjoyable. But I just can't get there yet.
KylersMom8-16-7
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:09 PM
After my 3rd son I had no desire and after 3 months I just did it. It took at least another 3 months to enjoy it.

I haven't had the issue this time as much but we are both so tired after me caring for our 4 boys and him working an early morning shift it doesn't happen. Our youngest is 14 months and climbing so putting a movie in for the oldest three and sneaking off for quickies doesn't happen anymore:-/

Just give it time, it does come back eventually!
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lovemytwo88
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 12:12 PM
I really don't even want him to touch me at all! It sucks cuz he is a lovey dovey type... ugh
mostlymaydays
by Group Admin - Stacy on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:46 PM
My husband is, too. But I'm soooo touched out. I feel like everyone wants something from me and I just have nothing to spare. Sometimes I'd like people to just stop touching me. That, and I'd like to be all alone in the bathroom. But with 5 kids I'm "alone" if I only have 1 or 2 kids with me!

Quoting lovemytwo88: I really don't even want him to touch me at all! It sucks cuz he is a lovey dovey type... ugh
MusherMaggie
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:20 PM
Part of it is fatigue because you now have two children! It's goo that your husband is understanding. Set a goal for a few weeks down the road for spending some quality time with him, even if it's at home. It doesn't have to be labor intensive or elaborate.
LittleRed80
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 5:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Wine and fake it til you make it.
lovemytwo88
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 6:11 PM
This is actually baby #3 :)

We do need to spend more time together


Quoting MusherMaggie: Part of it is fatigue because you now have two children! It's goo that your husband is understanding. Set a goal for a few weeks down the road for spending some quality time with him, even if it's at home. It doesn't have to be labor intensive or elaborate.
tnunley
by Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 10:06 PM

 For me... grin and bear it once a week.  Some tmi, experimenting with toys and such helps make it more interesting!rose in mouth

Precious333
by Group Admin - Julia on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:33 PM
Awww, just now saw your post! I think I may try the wine thing. Maybe ghat will help with the stress issue for me.
mostlymaydays
by Group Admin - Stacy on Mar. 17, 2015 at 7:45 AM
That's the only way I can flip the switch from mommy to wife. Otherwise my mind is going "did I sign the permission slip? How many more boxes of cookies to sell to get the patch? Did I move the clothes to the dryer? Do I have to call that English teacher Again? I wonder which one really markered on the wall? Is that the baby crying? It's not? That crying kid is going to wake the baby!!!"

Quoting Precious333: Awww, just now saw your post! I think I may try the wine thing. Maybe ghat will help with the stress issue for me.
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