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Mini pointless vent

Posted by on Apr. 11, 2016 at 9:02 AM
  • 7 Replies
My son is 8 weeks old. We have been struggling with a tongue tie, revised twice, and still no luck. Seeing a preferred provider tomorrow. But because of his tongue tie, he obviously has a difficult time eating.

He also was not sleeping well at all (last Sunday I tried a gentle sleep training technique for naps, and he, suprisingly, took to it immediately, and it also helped him sleep better at night. So this was said before we did the sleep training, but it's been bothering me). Between not eating well, and all the gas caused from it, he wasn't even sleeping longer than 20 minutes in my arms, let alone longer anywhere else, and crying all the time.

My mom was talking to my sister about it and she had the nerve to say "I know she doesn't want to hear it, but if she just gave him a bottle he'd probably sleep better." My moms immediate reply was "he can't drink from a bottle either" to point out he'd still have all the gas pains and such.

I want to smack her. She breastfed her twins (and not exclusively) for 3 weeks. And her second son for 3 hours. She doesn't know anything about breastfeeding! And, to top it off, she has been going to school to be a dental assistant, and when I told her weeks ago that ds has a tongue tie she said they spent months learning about nothing but tongue and lip ties. So she should know how much trouble they cause! She may not be able to properly diagnose them, but if they spent months learning about them, she should at least know giving a bottle won't solve all the problems !

Just grrr. I love my sister, but she drives me completely nuts and irritates the crap out of me.

Ok, vent over.
by on Apr. 11, 2016 at 9:02 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Georgie2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 9:48 AM
It amazes me how people can be exposed to or given information where they "know" it, but are incapable of applying it to real people and situations around them. Sounds like she's looking at your situation through the lens of what she thinks worked for her. I have several close relatives (ok pretty much all of them) that don't get how or why I nursed my middle son 26 months without supplementing formula. And my Mom wasn't around much when he was itty bitty, but she is now with my new baby. She makes all kinds of comments and laughs about me never getting anything done "with him attached to you all the time". My newborn nurses a lot less frequently than my middle son ever did!! I'm like "you have no clue" But she's who convinced me (nearly 16 years ago) that I not only needed to supplement my oldest to satisfy him, but also that I needed to mix cereal into a bedtime bottle at 3 weeks old to help him sleep.😕 I don't fight, argue or try to educate relatives that get under my skin anymore. I usually just save my energy and change the subject or walk away.
Stevensmomma
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry but your sister sounds ignorant
gdiamante
by Gina on Apr. 11, 2016 at 10:01 AM

Here's the trick to siblings: You have to ignore them most of the time. :-)

I will, however, gently suggest that you not be surprised if that gentle sleep training method doesn't work again. It's months too early for sleep training. Use with extreme caution because there are methods out there that are linked with failure to thrive.

This may be comforting: Mine didn't have nearly the feeding troubles yours did, and yours sleeps for much longer than mine ever did. (He is now making up for that as a teenager... so they do EVENTUALLY sleep better. Though not necessarily when you think they SHOULD.)

Death, taxes, never sleeping a full night again... your three guarantees as mom.

ame19
by on Apr. 11, 2016 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this

It happens. A lot of people think they know better than someone else even if they know nothing about it.

My friend's baby had a tongue and a lip tie. She was breastfeeding while he had it, even though it was difficult. She stuck through it until she got them both fixed. And that was at like 9 months old. Now since it is fixed he breastfeeds soo much better.

MusherMaggie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 10:12 AM
2 moms liked this
Also look into chiropractic adjustment and myofacial release therapy before and after the revision, and be sure to do the post-revision stretches to avoid reattachment. Let us know how things go!
bananas2u
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:06 PM
Yeah, I don't plan on saying anything to her about it. She's I possible to ever correct. Drives me nuts.



Quoting Georgie2: It amazes me how people can be exposed to or given information where they "know" it, but are incapable of applying it to real people and situations around them. Sounds like she's looking at your situation through the lens of what she thinks worked for her. I have several close relatives (ok pretty much all of them) that don't get how or why I nursed my middle son 26 months without supplementing formula. And my Mom wasn't around much when he was itty bitty, but she is now with my new baby. She makes all kinds of comments and laughs about me never getting anything done "with him attached to you all the time". My newborn nurses a lot less frequently than my middle son ever did!! I'm like "you have no clue" But she's who convinced me (nearly 16 years ago) that I not only needed to supplement my oldest to satisfy him, but also that I needed to mix cereal into a bedtime bottle at 3 weeks old to help him sleep.😕 I don't fight, argue or try to educate relatives that get under my skin anymore. I usually just save my energy and change the subject or walk away.
bananas2u
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2016 at 4:28 PM
It really was the simplist sleep training ever. I fed him when he woke up, played and talked to him for a solid hour (from the beginning of his feed), not putting him down to do anything, and the rocking until he gets drowsy and laying him down and telling him it is time to sleep. The eat/wake/sleep method.
I have learned (which is what I was doing before), I cannot let him fall asleep on me. When I do, he wakes up within 20 minutes. But if I lay him down awake, and help him fall asleep that way, he's sleeping 40-60 minutes. Wakes whenever he's hungry. With 3 cluster feed times in a 24 hour period.
And it made him move his "bedtime" up 1.5-2 hours early, and he's sleeping 5.5 hours before starting the day schedule again.

I expect the revision tomorrow to mess that up though. And/or any future growth spurts. Or simply any new need to change it. But it has been a really great week catching up on sleep! And it has given me the strength to know I can handle another 7 weeks of crazy no sleep and screaming, if he decides that's necessary.

Anytime my ibclc comes over and weighs him after eating, he is getting about 2 ounces per feed. And since he's going about 2 hours between each feed during the day, I think he's ok. He still has 7+ wet diapers a day (we change about every 3-4 hours, but they are soaked to the point of leaking if he pees one more time.)

Quoting gdiamante:

Here's the trick to siblings: You have to ignore them most of the time. :-)

I will, however, gently suggest that you not be surprised if that gentle sleep training method doesn't work again. It's months too early for sleep training. Use with extreme caution because there are methods out there that are linked with failure to thrive.

This may be comforting: Mine didn't have nearly the feeding troubles yours did, and yours sleeps for much longer than mine ever did. (He is now making up for that as a teenager... so they do EVENTUALLY sleep better. Though not necessarily when you think they SHOULD.)

Death, taxes, never sleeping a full night again... your three guarantees as mom.

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