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Mistake?

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 6:45 PM
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I am starting to think i made a mistake marrying my husband. We were cool when we just boyfriend and girlfriend. i also have 2 kids by him. and im starting to get the feeling that our kids is the only reason we got married. he is in the army. We got married in January and he left in february for training. He just finished traing and came home last weekend. So almost our whole first year of marriage we have been separated. And in spite of that very hard situation we did very well. but since he has been back ive been having second thoughts about our marriage.  We have been doing nothing but argueing. We cant agree on anything, our priorities are totally different. I cant ever do anyhting right. According to him (and his mom) i cant cook, i cant clean, i leave diapers all over the place,i shouldnt have planned a birthday party for our 2 year old because according to him we could have saved the money because she wont remember it anyway. he is always throwing the fact that i dont work and he gives me 700 dollars a month in my face. it was him who told me not work when i was pregnant with our 7 week old. n whenever i mention to him that i want to go back  to work he tells me no and says he make enough money to take care of us. but then he complains that i spend too much money. he doesnt seem to understand that in these times its hard to take care of 3 people on only 700 dollas. especially when u have a newborn that drinks more milk than they give you on WIC and both of your kids are in pull-ups an diapers on top of your normal bills, and various other mishaps keep popping up. and i hate how sarcastic he is. n how he always brings up old stuff when he gets upset.  and i really wanna figure out what im gonna do about this soon because we are supposed to be moving to italy in january. i dont think i can move half around the world for 3 years with somebody i jus cant see eyeto eye with. sorry so long

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 6:45 PM
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Replies (1-5):
mariannainidaho
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 6:48 PM

Marriage is hard.  Being married to a soldier is hard.  We fought a lot when Adam first came home from AIT but we adjusted.  We've been down here at his first duty station since the beginning of August and things have settled down.  I recommend that you look into counseling.  I think it could help.  


Marianna
Wife to Adam, Mom to Aiden


Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
-Unknown

mariannainidaho
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:29 PM

Hey, this just occurred to me...why are you only getting 700 a month?  You should definitely be getting more than that.  Does he have a crazy amount of bills to pay or something?


Marianna
Wife to Adam, Mom to Aiden


Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
-Unknown

MommaTiff23
by on Nov. 13, 2009 at 9:05 AM


Quoting mariannainidaho:

Hey, this just occurred to me...why are you only getting 700 a month?  You should definitely be getting more than that.  Does he have a crazy amount of bills to pay or something?


thats all i get because thats all he wants to give me.we dont have a lot of bills because i live with my mom and she doesnt make me pay rent or anything. all i pay is my cellphone bill, my kids insurance,and my daughter's daycare bill which she goes at a discount because my mom works there. he says that's all i need because i wasnt even maken that much when i worked at sonic before we got married. but he was always in the mall whenhe was in A.I.T. so i know he makes a good bitof money. I have even seen his LES so I know we aint struggling. He is just very cheap and stingy and selfish.

mariannainidaho
by on Nov. 13, 2009 at 9:27 AM

Well that is not right.  I don't know if you can do anything about it but it is definitely not right

Quoting MommaTiff23:


Quoting mariannainidaho:

Hey, this just occurred to me...why are you only getting 700 a month?  You should definitely be getting more than that.  Does he have a crazy amount of bills to pay or something?


thats all i get because thats all he wants to give me.we dont have a lot of bills because i live with my mom and she doesnt make me pay rent or anything. all i pay is my cellphone bill, my kids insurance,and my daughter's daycare bill which she goes at a discount because my mom works there. he says that's all i need because i wasnt even maken that much when i worked at sonic before we got married. but he was always in the mall whenhe was in A.I.T. so i know he makes a good bitof money. I have even seen his LES so I know we aint struggling. He is just very cheap and stingy and selfish.



Marianna
Wife to Adam, Mom to Aiden


Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
-Unknown

armymom69
by on Nov. 13, 2009 at 1:13 PM

Ummmm.........you say that you two are legally married. They are his kids....duh tell him to get off his ass and get to DEERS and enroll those children and you into the system and get you on Tricare. That will cut out your insurance bill each month. That is his responsibility. He has no choice in that. Other than that don't know what to tell you. It is hard when you first get married and are seperated right away. Hang in there.

Quoting MommaTiff23:


Quoting mariannainidaho:

Hey, this just occurred to me...why are you only getting 700 a month?  You should definitely be getting more than that.  Does he have a crazy amount of bills to pay or something?


thats all i get because thats all he wants to give me.we dont have a lot of bills because i live with my mom and she doesnt make me pay rent or anything. all i pay is my cellphone bill, my kids insurance,and my daughter's daycare bill which she goes at a discount because my mom works there. he says that's all i need because i wasnt even maken that much when i worked at sonic before we got married. but he was always in the mall whenhe was in A.I.T. so i know he makes a good bitof money. I have even seen his LES so I know we aint struggling. He is just very cheap and stingy and selfish.


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