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Today is the last day with my DH... :(

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:52 AM
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2 kids, 1 on the way, and 7 months without my husband.

Tomorrow we have to drop him off at MEPS ... we will be able to stay with him until 9pm, but it's going to be so hard! Wednesday is going to be the hardest... We will go see him sworn in, and then off to the airport.

Our oldest, 3 1/2 years old keeps telling DH that he can't go and he has to stay here to play with him. :(

Have you gone through this? How did you handle being all alone with your kids when you are use to having help? I feel at times..."I can do this" and others "I will never be able to get through this".

I've planned something small everyday to do with the kids to keep us busy,  we moved into my parents house (but they work all day, so its not a big difference), have bunches of friends w/ kids around that want to help... but it's not going to be the same. Nothing will be. Ever again. Not even when we re-unite after AIT in August. The kids will be older, I will be more independent and use to taking care of the kids, and he will have grown in a million different ways.

How will I get through this?!

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:52 AM
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Replies (1-6):
MOMmy432
by Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:03 PM

You will make it through! I felt the same way when my husband left. I think the week before he left was the hardest. I was so so nervous about change. I had a 3 1/2 year old, 2 1/2 yr old and a 4 month old when he left. Just take it day by day. Once I found out when his graduation was I made a paper chain for my kids, (ripped off a link each night) it helped them understand when the chain was gone we would see Daddy! He made videos before and that helped. The first month was hard and the last two weeks before you get to see him again was difficult. But you get used to it. Be flexible, my husband was in BCT for 80 days because his unit didn't start until 2 weeks after he left. So I had to readjust. My husband has about one month left of AIT and then we are going to Korea.  We are here for you! you can always PM me if you need to vent! Good Luck!

mrsjosey1018200
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:41 PM

 you can do it. it may not seem like it today, or tomorrow, or even for the first week, but it gets better.

my problem was that i couldnt talk to him. so i would write letters, the first 3 days i wrote like 10 letters a day. anytime i wanted to talk to him, i wrote a letter. but that made things worse. so what i would do is write 1 letter a day, right after i put dd to bed, and thats it. i would write him daily,a nd he wrote me.

i too,  moved in with my mom. it really does help, even though your home all day you still have someone at night.

when my hub left, we drove to the airport, and watched him get on the plane. we were the only family there and all the soldiers hugged us bye. it was sweet.

you are right, things will be different when he graduates, but you will appreciate him, and he will definately be showing you tons of affection.

if u need to talk, we have all been there. we can give u more insight.

oh, and sometimes he will be able to call you. he will call within the first 3 days of getting there, and then he may call again when he is leaving for basic training (the first week or so, he will be in reception), also he may call with his address, and my hub got to call every weekend if they were good.

but i got letters everyday. it took 4 days to get a letter to eachother, so mondays i would set up a package to send him. with caytlins "letters" and pictures of us. once i sent him scents from home in plastic baggies. and i would just put it in a big envelope so he wouldnt get searched. lol

jenirjohnson
by Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:07 PM

Thank you so much.. that helps! My family is over and the boys are out in the garage playing one last bout of ping pong... I'm going to put the kids to bed and join them :)

Today was VERY emotional. and as much as I just wanted to enjoy him, we fought like cats a dogs for an hour... about nothing! it killllled me. The preggo hormones and the stress of him leaving did not help :(

Tomorrow we have last minute errands to do that we couldnt get done today because of MLK day. Then we have to go to the recruiter to pick up whatever they have for him and to check in, then we are taking the kids to a place called 'castaway cafe'. it's a giant, warehouse size building with a play fort. it goes like 4 stories high! Then we head to the hotel for his 6pm check in, we will go out to dinner, and take out suits up to go swimming with daddy. We will come home since it's only 30 minutes away, and then head back up bright and early. Our family will be there for everything- me, the kids, my parents, his parents, and his sister who's a ssg.

Anywho... to bed the kids go! thanks again!!!

Savanna86
by Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:12 PM

Good luck. You will be a wreck this week- the first few weeks are the worst then you get a schedule down- then he will  graduate basic and you go through the same feelings again! Hopefully he gets a good company during basic. My husband just finished basic in Dec. and he could only call me a total of 3 times- with only 10 mins total on the phone! YES, he bought his cell phone. However, other companies in his battalion got to call every sunday- so it just depends! HOWEVER, we got very lucky and were allowed to have Thanksgiving dinner with him while he was in basic and spent a lovely 6 hours with him- so I can't complain about the phone calls. YES, I drove 7 hours (14 total round trip) to spend 6 with him. It does go by fast.....I thought it wouldn't ..but it did :) This site is great for support! How long is his AIT? Is it long enough for you to move with him?

 

You both will fall more in love with one another during this experience...trust me. GOOD LUCK AND BEST WISHES!

lilpiggy
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:07 PM

My guess is youll do just fine..... When my hubby went to basic two yrs ago i thought i was going to die without him... yes you will be a lil more independent... he'll change a lil too... but yall are going to appreciate each other more. My DH and i have a 2yr old and twins on the way ( due in 7wks and 5 days) and he left a little over a week ago for his very first deployment.... and it will be so hard with a toddler and two infants... but ill get through it ...youll be so busy with the kids and family that time will pass. stop stressing... women do it all the time. Now if you were a man id tell you to worry....lol ....jk ! i actually know a few men who have done it.

        


 

diveangel02
by New Member on Jan. 19, 2010 at 6:35 PM

You can do it, I have faith!  Like the other girls said the first few weeks are really hard, especially at night.  Then you get a routine going, it helps a lot to write letters.  I wrote my husband at leastone letter a day, sometimes two.  Usually at night when the kids were in bed, it was like my "special" time with him.  I worked out all the time, I became addicted! lol, just make sure you get out a lot with the kids and do stuff!  It makes time go so much faster!  We made a calendar and crossed off a day every night before bed.  I also made a frame that had some pictures of daddy on them and the girls would kiss him goodnight every night.  They wouldn't even eat a meal with out letting daddy watch them.  I took tons of pictures of the girls and they colored tons of pictures to send to daddy.  He told me that is what really kept him going strong.  You do change a lot, and of course so do the kids, but our love and respect for each other has grown so much stronger.  The longest we went without talking on the phone was 3 weeks, and that was the first 3 weeks of training.  They have zero privileges at first and as training goes on and as long as they don't get in trouble they should be able to call on the weekends and get more privileges.  My husband was in a good platoon and they got to make phone calls every weekend.  I was able to go to Georgia and spend a month there while my husband finished Airborne, which was really nice because he had every night off and every weekend off.  Maybe your husbands training is long enough for you to go?  My husband got stationed in Alaska and we didn't get to come up here for a month while the command sponsorship went through so you learn to have a good phone relationship!  It's so funny to think about how long we were apart, it almost seems like it never happened because things pretty much go back to normal after a while!  Good Luck lady, you can do it!   

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