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so sad

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:28 AM
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so we have only a few more weeks together and it seems that dh is picking fights with me all the time.  all i want to do is cry but i know i cant.  i just dont see how i can do this.  i mean he is not even gone yet and i already miss me.  is this  normal or what?  i try to stay busy and spend time with him but he just dosent care about any of it.  what am i supposed to do, or do i just do nothing all together and just give him his space and everything.  please help me i really did it.

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:28 AM
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by New Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:41 AM

My husband did the same thing. We fought continuously every day. He would walk out the door nightly to go be with his friends and not his son. I was furious.I don't think it's normal. Everyone told me my husband was just stressed about his deployment and as soon as he was gone he would miss us and wish he spent time with us... which he did. I guess you just have to work around them and what they're feeling, but  I also don't believe in using the Army and deployments as an excuse to act like a child. Now my husband is back, and right back to the same stuff.. choosing drinking over his son, and everyone tells me.. oh he's just stressed out from being overseas.

I guess you do just have to give him his space. You can force him to do things he wants to do, and it will just make him more mad, and it will be a bad time for both of you. Just hang in there. Be there for him when he needs you. Good luck. Sorry my advice isn't better, I'm just a little bitter at the moment!

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 12:32 PM

i can't say that my advice is going to be much better either. My husband didn't act like that when he left for boot camp, he was excited and spent as much time w/ me as he could, we was still dating then. but during christmas when i was 5 mo preggo (found out 5 days after he left for BCT) he was picking fights and going and hanging out w/ his friends when i was home rather than while i was at work. ERR..

however since he has deployed he has apologized and wishes that he spent every waking second with me. and now that we have a little man, he has learned slightly how to control his days... he was home on leave, and he got 16 days, and he spent the evenings w/ me and his son, and his friends, we only got two evenings to ourselves.. which is more than we got over christmas, and he spent the day w/ tucker, or working on his truck. but the distant-type behavior has settled down a lot, well see about when he gets home from deployment, but my advice is talk to him, tell him your scared, and have a good conversation w/ him, even if you have to do it with the lights off, while laying in bed... thats what i gotta do to corey sometimes..

and don't not let yourself cry. make yourself available to cry. dont thik you have to be the strong one, because you will have to be once he is gone, you will be mommy and daddy all rolled up into one, let your weakness, frustration, and worries out now while he is there to cuddle you and tell you it's going to be alright, youll wish you had if you don't

       combing             american flag ribbon        toddler boy


Hi, I am a full time hard working, formula feeding, butt spanking, vaccinatting, circumzing, church going, open minded, outspoken, reliable, self suffiencient, sex deprived, husband missing, military supporting, WIC using, pro-life, non-political mommy. And i am so glad to meet you.

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 1:23 PM

Well first off I know how you feel a little atleast! My husband leaves for BCT on Monday! :( For this whole month we had been at each others throats and saying some really crazy hurtful things! He was going to bed on his own and not saying a word to me and I was crying myself to sleep! That was until I sat down and started talking to him! I let him know that he was really hurting me and that all I wanted was for our last times together to be happy ones! I wanted to do things the he wanted to do and do things with the kids! Somewhere in our convo he saw and heard that I was upset! He has been just fine since that talk last week! He is done his civ job tomorrow and than we have plans for everyday till he leaves! Keep your head up and dont keep yourself from crying! You need to get it all out now! You are going to need to be strong once he is gone! Good luck hun!


by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 4:08 PM

My husband and I talked about this when he decided to join.  He leaves for BCT on Mon. and we haven't been fighting thankfuly!  It is actually a really normal human response.  When someone is leaving for an extended period, human nature tends to try to make it easier by getting mad at each other.  A person WANTS to leave when they are angry at the other person.  When I think about it, this also happened with my parents right before I went away to college.  Part of me wants to beat him, but I just silently think in my head that I am trying to distance myself from him to make it easier!  I don't know how well I explained this, but it IS normal, so try to make an extra effort.

An Atheist loves his fellow man instead of god. An Atheist believes that heaven is something for which we should work now – here on earth for all men together to enjoy.  An Atheist believes that he can get no help through prayer but that he must find in himself the inner conviction, and strength to meet life, to grapple with it, to subdue it and enjoy it.

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by on Jan. 23, 2009 at 9:46 AM

thank you for all of the stuff and i do think that they all helped out.  im going to tell him how i feel and hope that that does the trick

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