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Vent, Is any of this normal.

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 5:37 PM
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So heres the deal, I'm Amanda and I'm 19 and my DH just got deployed not to long ago. His family is very spread out over the states so i've never met any of them. Before he left he gave me some numbers to one of his brothers and his mom and dad and some email address too. So i emailed his brother saying hi introducing myself and everything like that. I got a reply within a couple days he seemed very nice and we've been talking back and fourth. Out of NO WHERE i get an add on myspace from a girl who kind of looked firmilar so i check out her page and remembered that My DH had said he had a neice her age, in looking i found 1 picuter of the two of them from back in the day so i knew it was her. Now she is only a year younger than me. So it's kind of weird, so right off the bat i add her and she tells me that i was a mistake and he should have never gotten close with me and he'll change his mind if he knows whats good for him. And me just trying to be nice was like blah blah i understand your fears but i love him and this is real so deal with it. So she got over it and we started talking and DAMN is she annoying. then his deployment day came around, And well she didn't even know when it was and i asked him why and his reply was "cause she's fucking annoying" Him and her use to be really close but since he joined the army they've drifted really far apart, atleast to him they have. So her and i were talking about him leaving and all that good stuff and then he calls me and says he has an hour before his flight leaves and he wants to talk. So i put up a message says "talking to my hubby before he leaves i wont be back for an hour or so" and she FLIPPPPPPSSSSSSS out. telling me how his priorties are wrong if he's calling me and not family and i've messed with his head cause he's not the same person and just kept going on and on. I finally got to the point where iw as like babe take 5 minutes out of the last half hour i have to talk to you and call your neice. cause i don't want to listen to this for the next year. it took me 10 mintues just to talk him into calling her. Now this is where i get really pissed. She is one of those people who LOVEEEESSSS attention. so the second she got off the phone with him all her messages and shit like that went to something along the line of "bawling my eyes out i'm going to miss him he's my everything" and i'm like umm okay. whatever. it's okay to be sad. and i tried to console her and all that jazz and she freaked on me again. Saying how this is all my fault and if it weren't for me he'd be home more and blahblah so i gave up and got offline. Then next morning i get online to check stuff and it pops up that she's chaged stuff on her page... while she went FULL CRAZY on her layout and shit like that and she sent anyone who would give her attention a message saying how much she's hurt and she misses him and all that crap. and I don't know i understand being sad, hell i cry my eyes out every morning when  i wake up. But i know that she's not "sad" for the right reason she's just doing it all cause she wants attention her own fricken dad told me this AFTER i figured it out. And i just want to freak  out on her and be like LOOOOOOKKKKK he loves his job and you can't be talking crap about how your life is ending because he's not around that is not what he needs right now, he need support and caring and loving family and friends around, IDK is it normally to let little things like this just piss you off. like i don't want to say I KNOW BEST FOR HIM. but him and i have talked about what he wants out of this deployment and what he needs to see from me and other family and friends.and what she is doing is not right. And this is normally something that i would just let roll of my back but right now I want to kill her!!!!!!

by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 5:37 PM
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Replies (1-8):
jen47167
by on Feb. 6, 2009 at 8:21 AM

Wow!  She sound crazy!  If I were you, I would just delete her and block her from all communication with you.  Your DH, nor you, need anymore stress at this point.  She seems to be a drama queen, so let her keep her drama to herself.  You know where you and your DH stand, how much you love one another, and all that.  So, just let her be!

armymom69
by on Feb. 6, 2009 at 9:51 AM

I kinda had the same problem with my DH's nieces at first. He came home for leave and had a talk with his nieces and it got a lil better then when he came home for good we went up there and I met them and all is good now. Sometimes it just takes time. They don't fully understand when someone new comes into their lives after having their favorite Uncle in their lives as single and fun. Things change and sometimes get better but when he's cute and single then gets married it kinda blows their bubble a lil. I wouldn't block her completely from communicating with you just reduce some of it. Let her throw her fit and get over it on her own time and own way. She will come around. Good luck. Hopefully your deployment goes by somewhat fast.

 

Kim

Mrs.Williamson
by on Feb. 6, 2009 at 11:37 AM

I HAD TO GO BACK AND RE-READ THIS,  when i read it i figured you know a little neice might act like that if they were close.. but she is 18!! wow.. I know this is odd.. but have you ever heard of "kissing cousins" well it happens also when a neice is really close w/ an uncle or a nephew w/ and aunt. The younger person starts to crush on the older, in this case i would say that your DH's neice is secretly crushing on him, and that's why she is flipping out so much.. not just attention, but because to her you are the enemy, you have stepped into the role that she secretly thinks about. 18 is a little old for this type of thing, however, depending on her maturity level, and the amount of attention she demands, i would say that this is what you are dealing with. Kill her with Kindness. Works the best. I know old fashioned but oh well. SHe will eventually come around. just let her stew for now. leave her be until she contacts you, chances are, she won't for a while. she'll just make it a point to make sure you know exactly how she feels at all times, such as posting "bawling my eyes out....HE'S MY EVERYTHING" on myspace. people are going to ask her who, what, when , where and she'll get the attention.. but not from you.

come hometoddler boyhappy veterans day 


Kelli, Tucker and Corey Williamson

fisterswife09
by Member on Feb. 6, 2009 at 11:45 AM

Thanks, Idk that could be it, Sometimes when i talk to her she seem really mature and other times she seems like she's 10. She lives on her own with her fiancรจ and they seem to be doing pretty well. I don't know i haven't talked to her in days i'm actually avoiding her! Her dad emailed me and said something like "so i heard (i don't want to use real name) talked to you." then said some other stuff and said "I'm sorry you'll have to forgive her, she's not all there sometimes." But I don't care cause he called me today and i got to hear his voice for the first time since he left and i can't stop smiling!!!!!! OMG I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!

come home

 

Amandakay

becky86
by Member on Feb. 6, 2009 at 11:57 AM

I had the same problem of someone in my hubby's family blaming me for ruining his life. My hubby's mom hates me. She blames me for the strain on their mother/son relationship. She blames me for him going back into the military. We are about to have our 3rd child in May and she is saying that I got pregnant to trap her son. But she has mental issues, she has been diagnosed and everything.

So I know how you feel to have someone in your hubby's family just flip out on you over something that has to do with you and your hubby. I even tried to be nice to her and she called me a b*tch and "cancer that is weeding my way through her family". Nice, huh?

fisterswife09
by Member on Feb. 6, 2009 at 12:24 PM

That does suck, I haven't even met his mom yet so i'm really hoping she isn't like that. His family lives all over the states and well theres not enough time or money to fly around and meet everyone. I emailed her once but i never got a reply. I'm still working up the curage to call her.  I'm really good at getting along with people, even when i don't like them. I don't see it as being fake i just see it as keeping the peace. But this girl is driving me up a wall. I was really happy cause he called me this morning and i got to talk to him for like 20 minutes so i left a comment on my little sisters page (cause my DH and my little sister are really close) Saying "Your big brother called he says hi and he loves yous" cause he did. And i just got like a 3 page email saying She is NOT his little sister and he does NOT care about her so stop making up lies and once he gets back he'll realize how horrible i am and he'll find someone better than me cause he deserves better, and then it went into her getting pissed cause he called me and not her. and again that his priorties were wrong cause his family should be number one. I just didn't reply to it. I'm not letting her get me down I've had the stomach bug the past couple days. I finally feel better AND i got to hear from him today!!! I think i'm just going to start saving all the emails and make my own little notebook of them... cause some of them really make me laugh lol. And that way if she doens't get any better after he gets home next year him and i can discuss it. Cause I KNOW he'd Flip if he knew she was being like this.

 

Thanks for all the support girls it makes me feel better that i'm not the only one that had to deal with crazy in-law famlies!!!!! Anyother stories i'd LOVE to hear em cause i'm sure mine will be a year long saga.

 

Amandakay

JaidedMomOf2
by on Feb. 8, 2009 at 6:27 PM

Well first off, im sorry that you have to put up with all this! I know that since you didnt get to meet any of them it makes it harder! I would deff save her emails! I would also just let her go and eventually she wont have anything to complain about! If it really starts bothering you than simply send her a msg! Tell her that its you and him and not her and them! You two are a family now and she will need to get used to it or just deal with it! Tell her that it is hard enough for you to deal with him being gone and you dont want or need her drama adding to it! You dont have to be mean about it just simply tell her how it is! But, I think ignoring her is the best thing to do at this point! Her fire will die out at some point im sure! LOL

As for my story LOL! My own brother thinks that I talked my husband into joining and says smart ass BS stuff about it all the time! I just ignore him! My own mother thinks that we made a bad choice and she hates it! She had an attitude with me for about a wk when we first told her! I finally told her that i understood why she was upset but that she needed to look at it from our point of veiw! She is much better now and it has clicked that its our family and she needs to let go! We next door to my mom and have for the past 2yrs! She just dosent want my two kids to be taken from her!

Keep your head up! THings will even out and if not at the very least your hubby will be home and than you can deal with it all!

 

ozarkgirl3
by on Feb. 20, 2009 at 6:36 PM

Her behavior is really crappy! I agree with the poster who said to save all those e-mails/messages shes sending. Just do your best to ignore her and concentrate on your hubby.

As for the comment that your lil sis is not his lil sis...thats BS! Who is she to regulate what your hubby calls someone? If your hubby considers her a sis, then she is!

Like you said, hopefully the rest of his family isn't like that. But theres probably a reason why they are all scattered around and he doesn't get a hold of them much, so don't stress even if they don't like you.

AND...a peice of advice I got from my Hubby's family... once you are married to someone, that becomes your new family and top priority. This bond takes first place before any other previous, because you are choosing to spend your lives together. (where family's aren't chosen, its just luck of the draw). They told both of us this advice to let us know that they expected him to put me (and now our children) before them, in order to create a strong marital bond.

Good luck with his deployment and screw what other people say! Hugs!

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