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I noticed a few posts on PTSD

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:51 AM
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I have the same issue at hand. All of the spots my DH sits in have to be up against the wall. He has actually struck someone due to them sneeking up behind him, or not anouncing themselves. I have to make lound noises when I walk into a room he is in so I don't spook him. And even grab his toe and step back when I wake him.
 
His OCD is also getting worse. And the IMED (intermitin(sp) explosive disorder) ie. rage fits. He has moments where he spaces out in the middle of doing something...flashbacks?  He has told me about the dreams and even some of the events that took place while he was there in 2003. Things he had to do, things that were done....I hate that he had this embeded into his memory.

And the nightmares are so violent at times. He has begged me time & time again to not wake him up durring them but I do because I can't stand to see him go through them. He has woke up swinging many times and has even bruised me (grabbing my thigh or wrist or shoulder) and hit me...not meaning to of course!
He feels like crap each time and I explain to him that it's okay that I know what to expect but I can't bare to see him go on and hear the things that he says. I love him. Is that wrong of me? Sorry just felt I had to get this out.


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by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:51 AM
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karismaangelee
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 3:59 AM
Oh and just to clear a few things up......My husband is getting help and seeing some people about his issues. And my signature, the suicidegirls banner yeah it's a website...check it out before you freak out.....it's not what you might think. I didn't realize I had to explain myself to some of the members in this group.

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awmk8
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 3:19 PM
You first off don't need to explain yourself to me...lol! I saw the .com!  Second I  understand how you feel and it's ok to vent! I'm very glad you felt you could talk to us about it! I really wish this group talked a bit more! I dn't know about everyone else but I think we all need that! I have a girl tell me my husband who has PTSD and sleep apnea doesn't deserve the VA benefits because he is not missing any limbs! I was so angry! She sees his out and about, calm and cool side, not the side you were just talking about! The hitting in his sleep! The blanking out and punching walls, arming our houses with weapons to "protect us"...protect us from what........we aren't in Iraq! But they don't deserve help because their scars can sometimes be covered with fake smiles when people are around! GRRRRR!


trenie
by on Aug. 5, 2007 at 6:39 PM
I hear ya, and feel ya girl!!! These types of disorders are so, so hard to deal with! My husband has nightmares too,... problem is he doesn't tell me everything until a few weeks later. Things have gotten better with meds and talking with someone,... but I don't think this is something that will ever go away,... I wish it would, because just like you, I hate to know that these memories are embedded in my husbands mind, right along with his memories of our happiest moments,.... I think he will continue to find ways to deal with things,.... but we will always have our days,... and I say "we" and "our' because I will always be beside him supporting, and loving him all the way!!! I am so proud of my husband all of our other military men & women. If only some people could see the sacrifices they have made! And I agree with the other post,.... these scares are very internal,... though our men are not missing a limb,... a piece of them has been scared and changed forever! No matter what happens my husband will never be able to get some images out of his head or forget what he saw, done and lived through. It's tough!!!! Feel free to vent anytime! I just did and it feels great,.. I feel so alone sometimes, because, people, especially civilians, have no clue what I'm talking about or what is going on! I'm here for ya girls!!!
Marsena
by on Aug. 25, 2007 at 12:24 PM

i'm right there with all of you! my husband was in iraq in 2004. when he first got home i didnt' realize there was anything wrong at first and when he starting acting scary i actually almost took our daughter and left one night, because he almost hit me. the only reason i stayed was because i knew this was not my husband, i didn't know who this was, and i had to find my husband again. he's been to the VA, he goes monthly and we get benefits and there are so many people that don't understand why we should get them. there's alot of people that the government helps with other things aka: WIC and medicaid, etc. who aren't citizens and there's too many military men who are overlooked for whatever reason. i get so mad at the government! i'm grateful that they've been able to help my husband, but like someone said, it will always be there. he's up for a promotion at work and i worry that the extra stress will be too much and we'll have a relapse and go back to things i don't want to revisit -- like the dreams, the distance from life that he had, and the alcohol abuse trying to make everything feel better. PTSD hits everybody different, but it's so SO real and they need our help, our support, our undending help, love, compassion, and understanding! i know part of my hubby's problem is that he never wants to talk about any of it. he just keeps it all bottled up inside, making it worse. he's been slightly better after keeping his VA appointments. he was on prozac for awhile, but that made him worse, not better! he takes herbs now - Valerian Root - and that seems to help alot! how long has it been since he's been home and since he's been getting help? i know it's different for everybody, but it does get better. slowly. i know it will never go away, little things that we don't think about bring it back up. my husband can't even be around fireworks on the 4th of July, and we practically have an arsonal in our house. he's told me that he's seen helicopters flying over the house everymorning and that "they're watching the house". i'm afraid that the paranoya will never go away. he's talked about moving to canada because he's worried about being deployed again. i'm afraid that if he's deployed again, he won't come back in 1 piece, because he'll do something to himself to insure a return home. it's so scary! i worry so much! and we have 2 kids, ages 5 and 1. i worry that some day he'll snap again and that i won't be able to stop something that will be "posessing" him, because even though it seems all better, i know it will come back some day. 

hugs to all! we know we need them!

mommygonecrazy2
by on Aug. 25, 2007 at 6:47 PM
Thank you all, I  have realized with this group why I feel the way I do. I don't feel left out anymore. My husband was hurt in the Navy and didn't go overseas to Iraq but he has some problems. He got severely dehydrated working in the engine room and they put lots of bags of IV fluids in him. He's not been the same. My family doesn't understand at all what I am talking about when I tell them he's just not right. I love him but I don't know, things just don't come to him as quickly and he's very teenager-ish in some of his behavior. He's also hurt his knee then the doctor kept putting cortizone shots in it. He got one a week for like 6 months to a year! He has lots of scar tissue and the VA keeps telling him he's too young for sugery So what exactly are we suspose to do.

I also wanted to say my great Uncle was special forces in the Vietnam war and he had PTSD. My grandma has talked about when I was old enough to relate more to it, she said it did get better the more he was home and I loved him to pieces. Just some of the things people see aren't meant for our eyes. And our soldiers are protecting us from seeing that in our country. I'm so greatful for every one of them.

proud american and vet wife,
Christa
raisandcjsmommy
by New Member on Aug. 26, 2007 at 6:29 PM
My Dh does not suffer from anything like that, for which I am thankful. But If I ever hear any one talk bad about the men and women who do(saying things like it is all in their head and stuff of that sort) I really lose it. Theese men and women go and serve this country, do as they are told only to come home to bigget people who blame them for it all. Please hug your husbands for me and tell them I thank them for everything they have done for our country. Bless them and yourselves for being the strong women they need.

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BellaSarah7879
by New Member on Sep. 2, 2007 at 9:03 PM
I felt like you were telling my story.My husband also has P.T.S.D. He has even spent 3 months in a hospital for treatment for it.  It has truned our lives upside down.  We have 3 children that are also greatly affected by this. We have done everything that the Doctors have said to do but none the less nothing is working. I don't expect for things to be the way there were before this nightmare. I just wish we could find a new kind of normal to live by.
Shellyn3boys
by Member on Sep. 19, 2007 at 3:23 AM

You don't have to appologize!!!!  Anyone who is a spouse of a combat vet knows what your going through!  We've all felt that way. 
I really tried to easy my DH into the VA, without being too pushy.  I had suggested to him that we join a VFW.  That worked and fortunately there were some guys there that were able to get to him and help him out.  We eventually got him into a group therapy which was the hardest part.  Well, I got him into group!  :o)  I called our county Vet Office and talked to the person there and they forwarded me onto the VA Hospital's counselors.  I got the times and dates and the name of the contact person. I waited for a good day then talked to him about it with my heart in the right place and my mind level.  They also did some one on one and did prescribe and anti-depressant to easy his anxiety.  He's had the meds but doesn't take them. 
To back up.  When my husband first came home I was in the car with him and our son and I had noticed him clinching up and closing his eyes.  I soon realized that it was due to his missions overseas.  He drove us once!  After that, he didn't leave without me!  I was the one driving!  He took Everything as a hazard.  If anyone has ever driven on Ohio freeways you know that they are riddled with pot holes!  He tried avoiding everyone!!!!  I thought I was going to die! 
On top of that.  You couldn't walk up behind him or startle him.  I'm just a quiet person so that was a really bad thing.  For other peoples' safety I just got in the habbit of announcing or addressing them before he paniced about having someone near unknowingly. 
We also went through the nightmares!  I too ended up with a couple of bruises from his sleep.  Kicking, yelling, fighting, even sitting up and swinging.   He still has it, but not as bad.  Mostly when he's stressed or there's been a lot on the news.
Feel free to vent that's why we're here!!!

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