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Sad at a time that should be happy

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2012 at 2:22 PM
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So back in 2007 I got pregnant with my twins. When I told my husband (then boyfriend) he was less then happy about it. He was going to leave then came around and even though he wasn't excited about it he came to terms with it. He now says he regrets how he felt back then and is thankful we have the boys. After they were born I was supposed to get fixed but the nurse ended up talking me out of it. At that time I wasn't sure I was done having kids. As the years went on I became content with the kids I have. We have 2 kids from his previous marrige and 1 from mine plus our two together. I did get an IUD after the twins but it fell out a few months after. So we have just been using the pull out method. It as worked for the last 4 years. Well this month AF never came. I told DH that my period was late and he just flat out said he is not having any more kids. He has always "joked" that if I got pregnant again he would run away to Mexico. I'm scared to tell him I already took a test and it's a BFP. I don't know where to go with this. If I need to give him time and see if he comes around again but what if he doesn't? I'm on the fence about an abortion... I think I would hate myself and him for wanting me to get one if I did. I was also thinking about adoption... Would it be weird though since we already have kids? Would this baby think we are bad people when he/she grows up? I need advice.

by on Feb. 13, 2012 at 2:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Member on Feb. 13, 2012 at 8:20 PM
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If it were me I would keep the baby and risk loosing the man. The resentment would be too much and would turn to hate. I hope he comes around for you eventually, good luck mama
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by Member on Feb. 13, 2012 at 10:06 PM
You just have to do what you think you should do and I think you definitely need to talk to him and work through it together...communication is key! Good luck!
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by New Member on Feb. 14, 2012 at 3:31 AM

come clean, and quick! the pull out method? are you allergic to latex? why didn't you have another iud placed, or get "fixed" when it wouldn't stay? if you're going to have it, have it now, not later, yes, and mixed blessings and all of that. but more than anything, come clean. jokes and speculation are just that. and if he disappears, then give him a short bit of time to adjust to his new situation. but if you want to stay with him and he wants you, then discuss THIS baby together, STAT, and think about more reliable and permanent solutions to contraceptives later.

by New Member on Feb. 14, 2012 at 10:15 AM
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Have the baby.You will never regret it.Everything will work out just fine.

by New Member on Feb. 14, 2012 at 11:08 AM

I didn't get a new one put in because the first IUD was not covered by insurance. As for getting fixed by the time I decided that I was content with the family I have I didn't have insurance any more. I really hope everything will be fine. My husband hasn't said a word about it since I told him on Sunday. I am going to ask him to go to planned parenthood with me tomorrow to get tested. That way he can talk to the nurse/doctor or whatever they are about the pull out method. He doesn't think you can get pregnant that way.... So I don't know if he really thinks I cheated or what. I don't give him any reason to think that I am.. Men can just be stupid sometimes. I'm really scared that this is going to break up my family. I want my boys to have both their parents with them every day. I see how it upsets my daughter to not be able to see her dad every day. :( A baby should be a blessing and not the heart ache I feel. :'( I just wanna cry every moment of the day.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2012 at 3:49 AM

it will work out . thats funny how he doesn't think you can get prego with the pull out you have been REALLY lucky to not for the past 4 years. My husband wasn't thrilled when I got pregnant with our daughter 2011 baby she was sorta an oppies cause I was on BC but, taking antibotics the sametime he said things happen for a reason. hopfully you guys work things out I would keep the baby and get fixed after this ;) or him get fixed rather haha thats just me

by Member on Feb. 21, 2012 at 12:41 AM

 Keep us posted and I hope things work out.Yes the new baby is a blessing and I hope he can get happy about adding to your family.


by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 12:46 AM

You know as well as everyone else, that pull out does not work, so that is all I will say on this.

by New Member on Feb. 21, 2012 at 1:02 AM

Sorry... I should have posted an update... We had a long talk. I'm not getting an abortion and as long as we are financially doing better we will keep our baby. If we are not doing financially better we will give it up for adoption to a family that can give it a better life. I have faith though that we will be doing better. We are already on the path of getting bills paid off.

by New Member on Feb. 28, 2012 at 7:50 PM

Hi there, no child would think you are a bad parent if told lovingly and at an age apporpriate time.

If you choose adoption let me know, we can't have any children of our own and would love to welcome a little one to our family.

I pray all workds out for you but I'm here if you want to vent.

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