My CafeMom
Moms
- Mom Search
- Invite Friends
Activities
- Showdowns
- Polls
- Surveys
Share
Groups
Answers

The Cafe @ CafeMom

Browse Group:

Maybe its because I've always been a stay at home mom...

Jul. 8, 2008 at 8:22 PM by SitaStJames
posted to The Cafe @ CafeMom

50 Replies
585 Total Views

I have a friend that works monday thru Friday from like 5:30 am to 6PM (sometimes 7PM) and her husband also works some weird hours during the week, too. (They're both military.) Anyway they have a 16 month old son together and he stays with a babysitter while his parents are at work. Well from the time they pick him up after they get off work until the time he goes to bed he doesn't want to be anywhere else but in their arms or just being around them or he starts screaming. (As in he was upstairs baby gated with my two boys while we were downstairs watching a movie. Throughout the whole movie their son was screaming his head off none stop. I had just recently bought a video baby monitor and my heart just broke for the little boy because he was so upset.) Well my friend told me that she was getting annoyed with her son's behavior because now he won't go to sleep until real late and she needs at least a few hours just between her and her husband a day without having their son around. She admits that he's so annoying with his screaming and that she likes being at work because she doesn't have to put up with her son being clingy. Which in a way I can understand where she is coming from but at the same time I can't. She works most of the day while her son is with someone else and so I can understand her son wanting to be with mommy and daddy when they pick him up from the babysitter and second I am a stay at home mom with two toddler boys expecting our third baby due next month and I don't get any alone time with my husband except for when our kids go to bed at night and even then we're too tired to want to do anything except sleep. And I am with my kids 24/7 and honestly, I rather my kids be with us than not with us because I feel selfish for wanting to just be with my husband without the kids. We're a family and I am big on spending time together as a family. And its been a year for us since having a night without the kids. I guess I just don't see how she can feel the way she does since she's not even around her son all that much Monday thru Friday. So does it make sense to you guys?

Written by SitaStJames on Jul. 8, 2008 at 8:22 PM Send Message

Send SitaStJames a message

Replies:

1-10 of 50 replies

12 3 4 5 next last

	by las21202 on Jul. 8, 2008 at 8:24 PM People do what they have to do to preserve their marriages, their bank accounts and their families. Everyone is different. What is the use of this fuss about morality when the issue only involves a horse? The first and most difficult teaching of civilisation concerns man's behaviour to his inferiors. Make humanity gentle or reasonable toward animals, and strife or injustice between human beings would speedily terminate. -Dr.Edward Mayhew
	by emily351982 on Jul. 8, 2008 at 8:31 PM That's a lot of work hours so I'm sure she's tired and that's probably got a lot to do with it. I'd really miss my son though. I'm also a sahm and my husband is in the military. I think I'm the more clingy one though, lol, not my son. I kind of feel bad for her son too b/c it sounds like he really loves his mommy and daddy and really wants more time with them (i totally understand having to work...i'm just saying that he misses them) My son's 18 mths old and I deal with him all day long all the time. He has temper tantrums and whines a lot but I really don't find him annoying or wish I was somewhere else. I'm really happy that I get to spend so much time with him. If I worked that many hrs though I might feel differently.
	by teri4lance on Jul. 8, 2008 at 8:33 PM I would find a non-intrusive way to introduce the ideas that #1 he will grow out of this and #2 if he got more attention he would crave it less because he would feel more secure. If you love playing on Pogo join my group http://www.cafemom.com/group/pogoplayersunite
	by Dreammom55 on Jul. 8, 2008 at 8:46 PM Some people just don't know what they are doing to their children.
	by jabs54 on Jul. 8, 2008 at 9:04 PM IMO there is definitely a "bonding" problem with that mom.
	by elwalters77 on Jul. 8, 2008 at 9:18 PM Quoting las21202: People do what they have to do to preserve their marriages, their bank accounts and their families. Everyone is different. Very well said. Being a mom is a hard job, whether you work outside the home or stay at home. We all have things we don't like and complain about. None of us are any better than another. She is turning to a friend for support and understanding and just to vent.
	by elwalters77 on Jul. 8, 2008 at 9:21 PM Quoting Dreammom55: Some people just don't know what they are doing to their children. True. This works both ways though. Some people cater to and coddle their children too much and it makes for very needy, demanding, uncompromising adults later on.
	by mamaaa01 on Jul. 8, 2008 at 9:26 PM i work 8 am to 5 pm monday through friday. this puts DD in daycare for 10 hours a day.... i gotta feed the kid right? she does get very clingy once i pick her up, and it can get annoying if i just need a minute to myself, but i simply tell myself that she misses me and wants some love, and i get over the aggrivation real quick. my SO and i can spend time together after DD goes to bed.
	by SAMNMAYASMOM on Jul. 8, 2008 at 9:27 PM awwww... that's sad... i do get wanting to be alone with your husband, but at the same time, you have to spend time with your kids, especially if you spend that much time away from them! poor thing! maybe you should talk to her about it! when i was younger, my parents were there, but they really weren't available. we very rarely went out as a family. i make a point to do it with my daughter's as well... we have a "family night" where we go to dinner and a movie or something similar... and then there are also days (wish there could be more) that i spend with just my oldest... and when my little one gets a little bit bigger, we'll have girl's night out! i think family i sooo important, and it's just sad when parents NEVER wanna spend time with their kids! good luck, and i think you should maybe have a talk with her...?
	by atlmom2 on Jul. 8, 2008 at 9:30 PM Quoting mamaaa01: i work 8 am to 5 pm monday through friday. this puts DD in daycare for 10 hours a day.... i gotta feed the kid right? she does get very clingy once i pick her up, and it can get annoying if i just need a minute to myself, but i simply tell myself that she misses me and wants some love, and i get over the aggrivation real quick. my SO and i can spend time together after DD goes to bed. This is the way it was when I worked. You have to give you child attention and then after they go to bed you and your husband can have time. You are tired after working but you have to make time for you child.