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3 (almost 4) year old has these "rituals" or "routines" that HAVE to be done.....what's your opinion? Normal or not?

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 1:33 PM
  • 11 Replies

My son will be 4 in February. For a while now he's had these routines that have to be done. There was just one, now there are two. The first is at bedtime, after I tuck him in (he's blue, I'm pink) We say:

"Love you so much baby doll Mommy"
"Love you so much baby doll Matthew"
"Goodnight"
"Goodnight"
"See you in the morning when I get up"
"See you in the morning when you get up"
"Goodnight"
"Goodnight"
(Pause)
"Goodnight"
"Goodnight"

And it HAS to be done. That way. Every night.

The other is after he says his prayers before he eats he tells me:

"I say my prayers before I eat my food"
I say "good job"
He says "Thanks"
I say "You're welcome"

If I don't he bugs me till I do, then eats. THe second didn't start until after I had the baby (he's 7 weeks) so I think the second is just a way for him to make sure he has my undivided attention for that minute it takes to say that.

He does not have any other symptoms or traits of Aspergers syndrome or autism. I've checked those out.

I just wonder, even though it's annoying sometimes, if this is completely normal? To me there is no harm in it, and it's kind of like his security blanket. Just like, when we say prayers before bed I have to get down on my knees with him, if not he's not happy.

What do you all think?

TIA!!

by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 1:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
myfoursonsks
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 1:36 PM

Those types of rituals sound normal to me.  He is just taking comfort in routine and that is common for young children.

HiFromExpertMom
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 1:56 PM

Completely normal at that age.  It just makes them feel secure in the routine. 

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MommyToEthan
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:09 PM

my son does things like  putting his hotwheel cars in a row (not playing with them, just putting them in a line), he will do the same things with crayons and sidewalk chalk.  and he has a fit if we move one.   but he will color and play like a normal child.

i was a tad worried about this so i asked his peditrician about it at his 3 year well check.   she told me it's perfectly normal for him to be doing this.   she told me that first born children who are boys are usually the "perfectionist" and does things like this.

so i dont think i would worry to much.... 

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shoegirl01
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:13 PM

Sounds super normal.  My son has this odd thing where we give him stickers for the potty.  Well, each animal has to go with its own.  So, he has a section on his potty for dogs, each one on top of the other, bumble bees, etc.  Its soooo strange and he is only two!

 

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Brasilmama
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:14 PM

He probably needs the same routine because his world has been turned upside down with having  to share mommies attention.

Verarose
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:16 PM

It's nice to see other people with the same thing.  My 3 year old DS has to open every door and no one can touch it.  Then he has to watch it completely shut.  Among other things he has to make sure everyone says Amen at the end of a prayer.  He will tell me to say Amen 100 times until I say it. 

Nathans_mom0612
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:22 PM

wow...that is good to know.  My son does the same thing with his hot wheels...and he is the first born.  I thought it was a little wierd but he has been evaluated by early intervention and did not qualify because of how good he plays and pays attention.

Quoting MommyToEthan:

my son does things like  putting his hotwheel cars in a row (not playing with them, just putting them in a line), he will do the same things with crayons and sidewalk chalk.  and he has a fit if we move one.   but he will color and play like a normal child.

i was a tad worried about this so i asked his peditrician about it at his 3 year well check.   she told me it's perfectly normal for him to be doing this.   she told me that first born children who are boys are usually the "perfectionist" and does things like this.

so i dont think i would worry to much.... 


BaileynMe
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:30 PM

Sounds normal to me! 

My friend's 2 1/2 year old HAS to put his puzzles together in a certain order or he has a bit of a meltdown. He has some nesting balls and when he takes them apart and stacks them he lines up the numbers on them. He had a meltdown the other day because she served him alphabet soup for lunch and he HAD to find the alphabet IN ORDER (he knows all his letters, in order, along with their sounds and an object example, no lie) and they couldn't find a G. He's a funny kid. 

DD doesn't have any rituals like that yet, but she's only 21 months and right now we're working on just getting her to talk! 

rogerstammy
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 2:46 PM

My son has little rituals like that too. Perfectly normal. Now if he starts having to do things in numbres like... turning the lights on and off 4 times before leaving each room, then seek help.

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CoeyG
by on Nov. 16, 2009 at 4:47 PM

Very normal.  He is learning the "art" of communication.  When he stops talking is when you start worrying  LOL 

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