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If I did it all wrong how come it all came out right?
When I was pregnant for my daughter I asked questions concerning my health of the doctors and nurses, I never asked questions regarding raising her. I was given several books by "experts" I sold them in garage sales, unread. I was constantly given unsolicited advice, it went in one ear and out the other. Yes I would thank whomever gave the advice (usually my mother) but I never took it. My mother in law on the other hand would wait until I asked her something and she would answer only the question asked, I appreciated that. I formula fed, MY CHOICE. I used disposable diapers MY CHOICE, besdies after a 3,000 mile car trip I was very happy we were able to toss dirty diapers rather than have to drive for hours with them cross counry in the middle of July! My daughter slept straight through from when we brought her home from hospital I would have KILLED anyone had they woke her and me up to be fed! I rocked her to sleep every night from birth through elementary school (until the two of us could no longer fit! ) Soon as she started taking steps I purchased a walker, one of the ones that was the "WRONG" kind, I kept an eye on her, she managed to figure out how to get down a couple of steps by bracing herself against the walls with outstretched arms and "scooting" her fanny forward so the walker would go down a step. I would watch and shake my head amazed that she could figure this out. She stopped napping just after her 1st birthday, I didn't fight her over it. She went to bed by 7:30 and slept through until I got up to get ready for work...it worked for me. I ignored the tantrums, during the terrible twos which lasted about a month. Nigh terrors came, I would check on her make sure she was okay but not butt in. They came and went. I worked outside the home she was in day care and pre school, something I have no regrets about. She was a social child and she got along great with the other children. She has been an only child. She was potty trained at the age of 18 months because she was my "bathroom shadow" and decided she wanted to sit on the toilet like me...When I was home with her we sang, we danced, we played, my house was a mess, she would "help" me clean LOL. I often took my lunch hour to visit her day care/preschool. She took dance for three years and I was a "back stage mom" during performances. I worked on school plays/talent shows and musical performances. I transported kids to and from Martial Arts demonstrations/tournaments where she obtained her Brown Belt in Eagle Claw Kung Fu (yes she has been known to break a few boards as well). When she was 2 she snuck out of bed while I was watching "Nightmare on Elm St" and declared Freddie her "hero" , nope she didn't have nightmares, in fact quite often she would sing the song on the way to bed "1 2 Freddie's coming for you". I allowed her to color outside the lines. and I welcomed her imaginary friends into our home with open arms. I allowed her to wear the pasty white makeup, dress in red and black and walk out the door to catch the bus looking like death without argument. I figured better she go to school than I stand there arguing as the bus drove by. If they had a problem with her mode of dress they would send her home, she never was. Only once did I go against my better judgement and that was to keep her IN a school setting when she requested to go on indepdnent studies. She wound up failing high school and having to take adult courses because she was over 18....however she also managed to complete all of her work within three months and gain her diploma. She managed to maintain a 3.5 GPA through out her first years of college, having to drop out due to complications from pneumonia but will be returning for the next fall semester to get her teaching degree. She is fluent in French having read Les Mis and Hunchback in their original language. Oh I didn't mention she was reading at the age of three and was reading Poe at the age of seven...She works full time as a Cashire with Wal Mart, yes she lives with me, pays half the rent groceries as well as bills. I believe that the only "expert" on any child are that child's parents. I don't believe in doing things "by the book". Other than using the pages of potty training books as toilet paper. If you choose to breast feed, that is what is best for YOUR baby, if you bottle feed that is what is best for YOUR baby if you formula fee that is what is best for YOUR baby because no one on this planet knows what is best for any baby other than the one who gestated that pregnancy and gave birth after 32 -40 weeks, YOU are the only one who knows that baby intmately.
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 5:53 PM
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Sorry, I couldn't read it all because there was no breaks in it and it was too overwhelming. Although, it does surprise me that you allowed your child to go down the steps in a walker. A babysitter let my son fall down a "couple" of steps in a walker and he bounced his head off a concrete patio, broke a collar bone and had severely bruised ribs at only 10 months old. I am surprised anyone would want to even risk injuries like that.
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 5:56 PM
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Amen to that. I live by that theory every day :) You sound like you did an awesome job :)
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 5:56 PM
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way to go. i say if your child ends up a functioning member of society , then you did it right. all these people who believe in all the rear faceing car seat and cloth diapers are just kidding them selves that their kids are going to grow up better. i say hell yea. congrats. you did an awesome job. keep it up.
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 5:59 PM
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Quoting myfoursonsks:
Sorry, I couldn't read it all because there was no breaks in it and it was too overwhelming. Although, it does surprise me that you allowed your child to go down the steps in a walker. A babysitter let my son fall down a "couple" of steps in a walker and he bounced his head off a concrete patio, broke a collar bone and had severely bruised ribs at only 10 months old. I am surprised anyone would want to even risk injuries like that.
I was there for a reason. Had I not been there she wouldn't be anywhere near the steps. It was two steps from the dining room into the family room. She couldn't have fallen because I was right there I wasn't off to the side. My daughter was 8 months old when she was walking on her own. She was RUNNING up and down a cement driveway at the age of 10 months. But again if I did it so wrong how come it came out right? She's 23 year's old. Just fine,
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:03 PM
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Wow! U kinda sound like me....not totally just kind of! I see what your saying....lol! but my son is only 12 and he's the only child as well....and yes I believe that i am doing a great job as well and will continue to just like my mother did! Im sure what you did wasnt ALL WRONG just not the same as what other mothers would have done with their kids.....we all make different choices for our babies.....some mothers need a book some don't, guess thats up to them!
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:07 PM
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I don't think the rear facing isn't done so that their kids can be better than everyone elses. it's meant to keep the child safer. And it IS proven to be safer.
Quoting sherriemorgan:
way to go. i say if your child ends up a functioning member of society , then you did it right. all these people who believe in all the rear faceing car seat and cloth diapers are just kidding them selves that their kids are going to grow up better. i say hell yea. congrats. you did an awesome job. keep it up.
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:08 PM
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That's great... Not really sure what you're looking for here?
I don't raise my kids by the books either. I could only get about halfway through this though because it's so hard to read : |
I am a Canadian,breastfeeding (it IS best, there is nothing even close to that nutrition and bond), co sleeping, extended rear facing (if you don't rear face to the maximum of your seat, you're NOT doing all you can to protect your child), baby wearing, Non spanking (I want my kids to respect me, not fear me) ANTI- CIO, homemade baby food making, cloth diapering, organic (chemical free household!) recycling mama to TWO! My husband is my equal and best friend, not my master and I believe basic health care should be a human RIGHT, not a privilege.
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:09 PM
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LOL! I was thinking the same thing... Cloth diapers are safer too. I don't do it so my kids will "grow up better"
Maybe healthier orsafer, but not "better"
Quoting AngelicaRenee:
I don't think the rear facing isn't done so that their kids can be better than everyone elses. it's meant to keep the child safer. And it IS proven to be safer.
Quoting sherriemorgan:
way to go. i say if your child ends up a functioning member of society , then you did it right. all these people who believe in all the rear faceing car seat and cloth diapers are just kidding them selves that their kids are going to grow up better. i say hell yea. congrats. you did an awesome job. keep it up.
I am a Canadian,breastfeeding (it IS best, there is nothing even close to that nutrition and bond), co sleeping, extended rear facing (if you don't rear face to the maximum of your seat, you're NOT doing all you can to protect your child), baby wearing, Non spanking (I want my kids to respect me, not fear me) ANTI- CIO, homemade baby food making, cloth diapering, organic (chemical free household!) recycling mama to TWO! My husband is my equal and best friend, not my master and I believe basic health care should be a human RIGHT, not a privilege.
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:13 PM
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I didn't cloth diaper my 2 year old. but i'm seriously considering cloth diapering the next one I have. If only for the easier potty training benefits. lol. (although my son was mostly out of diapers at 19 months, if i could make it easier next time that's a plus)
And i rear faced until 18 months, but not so that my child could be better than anyone elses.
Quoting Randi02:
LOL! I was thinking the same thing... Cloth diapers are safer too. I don't do it so my kids will "grow up better"
Maybe healthier orsafer, but not "better"
Quoting AngelicaRenee:
I don't think the rear facing isn't done so that their kids can be better than everyone elses. it's meant to keep the child safer. And it IS proven to be safer.
Quoting sherriemorgan:
way to go. i say if your child ends up a functioning member of society , then you did it right. all these people who believe in all the rear faceing car seat and cloth diapers are just kidding them selves that their kids are going to grow up better. i say hell yea. congrats. you did an awesome job. keep it up.
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- by on Nov. 22, 2009 at 6:30 PM
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Some people shoot themselves in the skull and survive. They "did it right", but it still failed. I guess the same thing can hapen the other way around? Sometimes our luck has little to do with the choices we make. Some women shoot up heroin throughout their pregnancy and miracluously give birth to healthy, full-term infant (albeit, suffering withdrawal). Does that negate the evidence that it's a "poor choice"? No. It means she got lucky.
We can do everything right, or we can do everything wrong....but no outcomes are guaranteed either way. However, MOST parents choose not to throw caution to the wind simply because they can't gurantee a good outcome. We do the "right" things because it increases our chances. Congratulations on getting lucky.........
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