Okay, I know you probably get tired of me and my reports(and probably the topic that I chose),but I have another one to do.This report is a compare and contrast report. I am going to do my report of parents who spank compared to parents who use the time-out method.So if you are a parent who spanks or a parent who uses time-out, I need your opinions.
1) Tell me how you feel about the method that you use.
2)Also tell me if you use other methods as well.
3)Do you believe that the other method is just as effective( Meaning,if you are a spanker,do you feel that time-outs are just as effective and vise versa)?
4)Tell me how you feel about the opposite method(if you are a parent who uses time-out,tell me how you feel about spanking and vise versa).
5)Also tell me how you child responds to the method that you use.
Please feel free to include anything else about the subject.Thanks.
i'm not really a spanking mom. sure when they are toddlers and trying to run out in traffic, they then were swatted on the diaper. but .. i'm not a big spanker per say. i'm not even a big time out user
my oldest son has high functioning autism. sure, he's very functional now but that wasn't always the case. he was profoundly hyper... nonverbal until he was close to four. i was told to put him in an institution. it was not a fun time in our lives.
at the end of the day.. with every challenge we faced, and we faced quite a few... clear cut rules, with clear and immediate and CONSISTENT consequences.
so.. if the consequence was writing... he wrote. it didn't matter how much he bucked me. if he bucked me too hard i made him do physical labor... push ups, belly busters.
see... with autism and hyper activity, when a child starts acting up, you need to de-excelerate that child.
some good old fashioned heavy work is great occupational therapy and helps calm them.
plus... push ups suck! lol but they are legal and won't hurt the child.
now at 12... if i say "cut it out" he does! lol and if he doesn't.. i make him write.
his full diagnosis is adhd, o.d.d{oppositional defiant disorder} and pdd,nos. {nonspecified high functioning autism}
he is not medicated... he is not violent.. he's a pretty good kid!
but he has autism, which means... like many children with autism, he has "dysgraphia" which impedes his ability to print effectivly.
combine that with adhd... and make that child write?
oh honey... it's like chinese water torture!!! he HATES IT! and will asked to be spanked instead.
he's twelve... i'm not spanking him.. he can write! lol
and.. so that it's amuzing to me.. i make him write things like
" i will not mess with my hormonally imbalanced mother"
rofl! i'm awful! i know... but it's funny as hell!
writing... once they are old enough, it beats out time outs and spankings 10-1.
because... it's the gift that keeps on giving, days later when their hand is still sore.
ADMIN FOR AUTISM, ASPERGER'S, PDD AWARENESS.
I was a spanker. I spanked probably less than 5 times each. I always did it with clothes on their butt, not bare skin. I probably didn't spank past the age of 5, if that old even. I spanked my daughter more than my son. With him I was able to just make the face or point the finger and he knew I meant business. Now they're 29 & 27, and we're all very close and they were really awesome kids....never got in trouble, etc.
Quoting nikkiJ86:
Okay, I know you probably get tired of me and my reports(and probably the topic that I chose),but I have another one to do.This report is a compare and contrast report. I am going to do my report of parents who spank compared to parents who use the time-out method.So if you are a parent who spanks or a parent who uses time-out, I need your opinions.
1) Tell me how you feel about the method that you use.
2)Also tell me if you use other methods as well.
3)Do you believe that the other method is just as effective( Meaning,if you are a spanker,do you feel that time-outs are just as effective and vise versa)?
4)Tell me how you feel about the opposite method(if you are a parent who uses time-out,tell me how you feel about spanking and vise versa).
5)Also tell me how you child responds to the method that you use.
Please feel free to include anything else about the subject.Thanks.
First off my daughter is now 23 years of age and is proof that my metod works
1) Tell me how you feel about the method that you use. I chose it when I realized I was close to becoming my father when he would beat on me (he broke my nose/upper left cheek, left scars on the backs of my legs) When my daughter put her hands up to ward off a blow it was ME who got hit in the heart.
2)Also tell me if you use other methods as well. I started out doing so but after the thrid time it wasn't worth the pain inflicted on the both of us
3)Do you believe that the other method is just as effective( Meaning,if you are a spanker,do you feel that time-outs are just as effective and vise versa)? No I think the only effectiveness the other method has is turning parents into bullies.
4)Tell me how you feel about the opposite method(if you are a parent who uses time-out,tell me how you feel about spanking and vise versa). I used time outs I find spanking to be counter productive, it only causes children to fear rather than respect their parents and teaches the child nothing. It also doesn't take much intelligence for a parent to raise their hands and swat a child, apes do the same thing with their offspring.
5)Also tell me how you child responds to the method that you use. At first time outs were frustrating, like all children she would fight but I was consistent, kept putting her back when she got out and eventually she began staying. It got to where all I had to do was point to the time out spot and she would go over, head down heave a large sigh and stand there.
Wow....I wonder at what age my kids will become violent.
1) Tell me how you feel about the method that you use.
It goes against every instinct that i have to spank a child, for me its very important to communicate with my children in a way that is positive instead of focusing to much on the negative. My children are very young (2 years and 8 months old) and i cant imagine spaking one of them, i was never spanked as a child so that is what i am comfortable with
2)Also tell me if you use other methods as well.
Time outs work with my son but he is an easy todler, he rarely get tantrums etc.. In most cases a simple talk with him is enough
3)Do you believe that the other method is just as effective( Meaning,if you are a spanker,do you feel that time-outs are just as effective and vise versa)?
I think that spanking is not as effective as other methods, yes it may work short term but long term i think that other methods just work better.
4)Tell me how you feel about the opposite method(if you are a parent who uses time-out,tell me how you feel about spanking and vise versa).
I dont understand spanking and it goes against my instincts, the same goes for things like CIO for babies etc. We are gentle parents but that does not mean that we let our kids walk all over us!
5)Also tell me how you child responds to the method that you use.
My children are very young but so far they are responding very well to my gentle methods, both are very good sleepers, my toddler is very independant and curious about the world around him etc..
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Professor G.J. Kloosterman, Chief of OB/GYN, Univ. of
Quoting nikkiJ86:
Okay, I know you probably get tired of me and my reports(and probably the topic that I chose),but I have another one to do.This report is a compare and contrast report. I am going to do my report of parents who spank compared to parents who use the time-out method.So if you are a parent who spanks or a parent who uses time-out, I need your opinions.
1) Tell me how you feel about the method that you use.
I feel that for my family and my child it is the best route
2)Also tell me if you use other methods as well.
Yes, i do use other methods.
I tell my DD simply to not do that first. Second i give her a time out in the c orner for 5 minutes. If it persists, then i send her to her room for 10 minutes. If she does it a fourth darn time, then i give her a spanking. I use multiple methods. I don't think that JUST ONE method c an truly work permanently and consistntly with not only children but ANYONE. There has to be a routine, a series of events and c consequences i think.
Also,, if what she has done is dangerous, i will firstly give her a long talk, show her my distress about the action and hope to hell she dosnt do it again { this is on the FIRST time she did that particular dangerous thing}. I just let her KNOW that what she did was bad and made me scared. When she does it again though, she gets a spanking, first time every time. If its DANGEROUS i think something needs to be done and that immediate and absolute ac tion needs to be taken. And hell, my DD safety is worth more than be PC , or being fair ya know?
3)Do you believe that the other method is just as effective( Meaning,if you are a spanker,do you feel that time-outs are just as effective and vise versa)?
Absolutely. Both methods are great in my opinion. Anyone who says one or the other is ineffective is being absurd.
To me, it depends on nothing more than the c hild in question. What works for them, what do THEY respond to the best.
4)Tell me how you feel about the opposite method(if you are a parent who uses time-out,tell me how you feel about spanking and vise versa).
Once again, i think both methods are fine.
My only concerns are this.
Parents who CONSTANTLY use the time out method when it has been apparent {in their own child} that it does not work. Parents who insist on using disciplinary actions that do not work on their children are set up for a life of hell, as are there children. If a child does not c are about the consequences of his/her ac tions, then they will begin doing dangerous things, becoming spoiled, becoming a bully, among mm any other possibilities.
Dont misunderstand me, if the time out method works for a parent and they're child then HEC K YEAH,, more power to them! And i am NOT saying the time out method alone c an never work either.
Another thing that i have a problem is parents who spank their children for every single little wrong they do. I think that a spanken should be the last means ya know? I dont think that a child throwing their ,i dunno, poptart cuz their tired deserves a spanking. I really dont like it when parent sue the spanking method as their ONLY method. I think that all children need to have order of consequences ya know? And in my OPINION i just dont think its right to spank your child at the drop of a dime, i dont think that really teaches tem good discipline.
SO i suppose the only negative feelings i have about either method is those who use that method exclusively or excessively.
5)Also tell me how you child responds to the method that you use.
Well of course she dosnt like it! What child likes to be reprimanded! lol. But ,, usually she responds to the 1st time out now a days. Now that shes older, and she knows a little more about whats right and whats wrong, she responds well to the first time out. However, for about the last 4 months. Every single time weve had to give her a spanking for something,s he has not done it again. Well see if she picks it back up later LOL.
She responds well to the method i have adopted.
Please feel free to include anything else about the subject.Thanks.
Sorry for all the typos guys. Someone spilled who knows what on my keyboard and alot of my keys are sticking together, so ya. I am really sorry if this post was hard to read.
HOpe this helped. Good Luck with your Project.
My step son is 5 and he has down syndrom my 4 year old has adhd no doubt and the baby is still a baby I have let to find a form of punishment that works for my kids they are wild and out of control and as much as I try to stay consistant with things NOTHING works for them. They will be done with whatever punishment I'mn trying at the time and 5 minutes later they are doing what they got in trouble for. I don't know what to do.
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- nikkiJ86
on Nov. 25, 2009 at 9:03 AM