Me and my SO (Brandon) have been together almost 2 years. We live together and have a 5 month old. We used to be so close...we'd talk allll night about everything and anything, and we had so much in common. We LOVED being around each other. Now I feel like everything has changed. I know after being with someone for so long things dull down a little bit..but I don't want them to. We don't even go to bed at the same time anymore, we sleep under separate blankets...I just miss how things used to be. I love him more than anything in the world, and I don't ever wanna be with anyone else. I just wanna know how I can show him I love him more, and make things better...or if anyone has any advice on how to spark up our relationship? I dunno, I know he loves me, but I just don't want the relationship to get "old" and then we are just together because that's how it always was..not because we want to be...ya know? I dunno...really, I love him with all my heart and he does make me so happy...I just wish we could get excited about being together again ya know? Sometimes I feel like he's kinda getting sick of me cuz we live together and neither of us were working for a really long time, so we were together like every second of every day..and I admit that can get old...He is working now...3:30 - midnight. it sucks but idk i just need some advice...what do you do when your relationship gets dull....like too comfortable...I admit...I don't get all dressed up anymore like I did when we first started seeing each other. I don't always do my hair and make up and make myself look good...and that could play a part as well...It's like we've gotten too comfortable with each other..there's no more need to "impress" and that makes things boring. Not saying our relationship is boring. Ugh, I don't know how to explain it, hopefully you all know what I mean! Thanks ahead for any advice!
Proud mother of two amazing kids. Fiance to an amazing man <3
Okay so I'm actually really excited to read this post. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 3 months. We use to live together and were in the same situation as you. We both were not working at one point and saw each other 24/7. We have a 4 month old son together also. From my experience, the relationship DOES get dull. You're both really comfortable together and without working and seeing the same things everyday, there isn't much to talk about! But in my case, we did more arguing than anything. It's just that feeling of boredom. I knew that my bf loved me and I loved him very much but without living your own lives, there wasn't much to really say.
I noticed that you also mentioned that you don't get dressed up or dolled up anymore because you don't have anybody to impress.. but you do! Men like to see their lady looking good because it makes them think that you take pride in the way that you look. I know you hear that people should love you regardless of what you wear or how you look, and they do, but the same old thing gets boring. Take a little time out for yourself too. Show your man that you take time on the way you look and that you love the way you look.
My bf and I don't live together anymore so we rarely get to see each other (except maybe on weekends) and let me tell ya, sometimes it is so awesome. I miss him so much but at the same time, i get all this time to just look the way I want and relax and be lazy sometimes but when I know I'm going to go see him, I dress to impress. It'll make him want you all over again! So I am not recommending living apart but yeah, I do believe the whole lack of dressing up/makeup thing has a slight bit to do with it.
And you also said that he works now. So just a word of advice, now that he is working, expect his personality to change a lot! Men love to feel like they're contributing and supporting their family. That might have also had something to do with the "dullness" you were feeling. Now that he is working, he will have something to talk about with you. Work! And maybe you can take on a new hobby or something to give yourself something to talk about.
This is just my opinion and just from my experience. Your man obviously loves you because he's with you! He chose you! So give him something back. Spice it up a little bit. Haha
Can you get someone to watch your child overnight? If so you should get some sexy clothes, do your room in pillows and candles. When he comes home give him a massage, play some games, make him feel wanted. Maybe once a month just get him a simple card that says "I love and appreciate him". My husband gave me a card two weeks ago for no reason and it meant soooo much to me.
Quoting Elyce225:
Can you get someone to watch your child overnight? If so you should get some sexy clothes, do your room in pillows and candles. When he comes home give him a massage, play some games, make him feel wanted. Maybe once a month just get him a simple card that says "I love and appreciate him". My husband gave me a card two weeks ago for no reason and it meant soooo much to me.
I totally agree with this too. Very sweet!
Quoting Elyce225:
Can you get someone to watch your child overnight? If so you should get some sexy clothes, do your room in pillows and candles. When he comes home give him a massage, play some games, make him feel wanted. Maybe once a month just get him a simple card that says "I love and appreciate him". My husband gave me a card two weeks ago for no reason and it meant soooo much to me.
I agree! some of THE best marriage advice I ever got was to "never stop dating your spouse". and I believe in it SO much! you have to take time for just the two of you to be JUST the two of you. go out for dinner, go to a movie, go bowling, just get out and go do something you love! and then come home and have a SUPER romantic, intimate evening for yourselves! buy some sexy lingerie, wear your hair/makeup different, light some candles, take a bath together, give each other a massage, or just cuddle up on the couch together!
BUT DO IT OFTEN! you can't lose sight of your relationship and the love you have. keep the love and fire alive and burning!
good luck to you Momma!
Aww, thanks guys. I think I'm gunna ask him out lol
but I don't know when...he had today off...he has to work tomorrow (friday) he has saturday off, but is working sunday...then mon-fri....so maybe I'll ask him to go out with me saturday!! Thanks soo much you guys are awesome!
Proud mother of two amazing kids. Fiance to an amazing man <3
If you can't get someone to watch the baby, you can wait till the baby falls asleep. Then get dressed up like you are going out but stay home and cook him a nice dinner. Sit and eat it at the dinner table with no tv or music. you guys will have time to talk and im sure he will love a nice home coked meal.
Start doing those things again.
I 2 kids ages 3 and 6 and have a chronic illness and it is hard sometimes for me to even get out of bed and move etc. But I ALWAYS made sure I had my hair fixed and maybe some light makeup on before my DH got home from work. Even if I was in some cute VS sweats and a tank top or something I always made sure I looked nice.
Find a regular sitter someone who can do it once a month to start and go out. A movie, bowling, a bar for drinks, dinner, dancing, dave and busters etc Anything you would do if you were dating someone new. Spend time together. If you stay in rent some movies, maybe pick up a nice dinner from your favorite resturant and get some candles, take a bubble bath together etc. There are all kinds of fun things to do. Just get creative! :)
Lupus Awarness
I was glad when DH and I got to the comfortable stage! We've slept under different blankets for YEARS, but that's because he steals the blanket and I get sick of being woke up LOL. A date night every now and then is a great way to have one on one time. But if you feel that you can't be yourself around a guy and he doesn't like you in pjs with your hair a mess and no makeup then IMO he's not worth staying with.
Quoting fallnangel3:
I was glad when DH and I got to the comfortable stage! We've slept under different blankets for YEARS, but that's because he steals the blanket and I get sick of being woke up LOL. A date night every now and then is a great way to have one on one time. But if you feel that you can't be yourself around a guy and he doesn't like you in pjs with your hair a mess and no makeup then IMO he's not worth staying with.
It really isn't about doing it for him. She used to do it. Some women when they have that eyeliner on or that lipgloss and hair fixed nice it makes them feel good about themselves. That is more important.It could give her a confidence boost etc she said......
Quote:So maybe if she does it again she will feel better and about herself which will put off those hey look at me I am a sexy confident woman who loves myself and takes care of me even though I am a wife/Girlfriend/Mom whatever kind of vibes....
.I admit...I don't get all dressed up anymore like I did when we first started seeing each other. I don't always do my hair and make up and make myself look good.
Lupus Awarness
rough patch .
- michellelee3708
on Nov. 26, 2009 at 3:42 PM