I know this is stupid but I really need to get it out and since it's 5:30 in the morning I figure this is the best place to do it. So today my fiance's friends (who are a married couple) called and he invited them over, which is fine. What is not fine however is the fact that they decided to stay the night and stay up until about 4:30 playing video games while I took care of our 2 month old. When we all finally went to bed my fiance decided he couldn't sleep and wanted to get up. We layed in bed and talked until we heard our friends alarm on their cell phone go off at 5. I guess they are going shopping. After that we were both wide awake. The weird thing is though, my fiance kept trying to get me to take sleeping pills but refused to take them himself. Then got aggravated with me and said some rather mean things when I still refused. Now I'm pissed off, wide awake, hurt, and annoyed. I am a stay at home mom and he is out of work but I still do the household stuff and of course take care of our son. He does just enough of taking care of our son to keep me from bitching and none of the household stuff. Our relationship is really suffering but we both feel like it's the others fault. We don't kiss, or cuddle or anything and haven't in a long time. I feel like I have a room mate that I share a bed with. I am reaching the end of my rope and don't know what to do. We have been together off and on since I was 16 and I'm almost 24 now. I want to make things work but even talking turns into fighting and playing the blame game. Is it time to call it quits?
Amber Nicole
ive been where you are (minus sleeping pills though) and it can get better of you both want it too. One of you had got to give in. Think about why you are mad. Are they things that you would think about on your deathbed? If they are REALLY important issues he doesnt want to change then it might be time to call it quits. If they really arnt that big of a deal in the grand scheme of thing,then maybe you should get over the anger and just be nice, try to enjoy the good parts of him, acknowledge when he does something nice or helpful. He probably has low self esteem and being out work makes things worse men, they wallow. As immature as he sounds hes being, you have the stength to try the positive therapy. If that doesnt work or it goes unappreciated then maybe he just doesnt want what you want.
Quoting kmbolds:
Why was he so adamant that you take sleeping pills?
I was wondering the same thing.
On Christmas my husband & I will have been together for 15 years & March will be our 12th wedding anniversary. We started out as best friend & after a 4 year friendship got together. We've had our ups & downs as well. It's normal to go through periods like this. The only thing that can fix it is communication. That's never an easy task because we are all human & naturally either feel defensive or speak offensively. What has always worked for me in times like this, is writing him a letter. It gives me the time & control to choose my words carefully so as not to be attacking, but still express my feeling clearly. It also avoids the interruptions that often lead to off topic arguments. It always seems to get us back on track. Good luck!!
A woman is like a tea bag~you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
~Eleanor Roosevelt ~
Sounds to me like he wanted a threesome or something with the others.... maybe I am wrong... but it's WAY weird and that would concern me more than anything else.... he could drug you in a drink.... something is WAY OFF here!
Quoting balagan_imma:
Quoting kmbolds:
Why was he so adamant that you take sleeping pills?
I was wondering the same thing.
Wow everyone is getting pretty crazy about the sleeping pills! Sounds like you know him pretty well after 8 years. Do you have any reason to believe that he would try to drug you? It didn't sound like you did to me. If you have never had any issues with strange behavior like that, I wouldn't be too concerned, personally. It's quite possible IMO, that he was trying to give you the rest you needed & wanted because it was his friends that caused the lack of sleep in the first place & he wanted to resolve the situation. Of course he couldn't take the pills if you did; you have a 2 month old in the house...that would be dangerous & irresponsible. My husband got annoyed with me because he was trying to help out w/ our 2 yr. old & I was fighting him. He was watching a late FB game & our daughter kept waking up. He knew I was beat & was trying to be nice. I knew he wanted to see the game & was trying to be nice. He just got frustrated that I wasn't letting him solve the problem for me. His intentions were good lol. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think people are really jumping to conclusions here.
A woman is like a tea bag~you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
~Eleanor Roosevelt ~
Quoting abby9876:
Wow everyone is getting pretty crazy about the sleeping pills! Sounds like you know him pretty well after 8 years. Do you have any reason to believe that he would try to drug you? It didn't sound like you did to me. If you have never had any issues with strange behavior like that, I wouldn't be too concerned, personally. It's quite possible IMO, that he was trying to give you the rest you needed & wanted because it was his friends that caused the lack of sleep in the first place & he wanted to resolve the situation. Of course he couldn't take the pills if you did; you have a 2 month old in the house...that would be dangerous & irresponsible. My husband got annoyed with me because he was trying to help out w/ our 2 yr. old & I was fighting him. He was watching a late FB game & our daughter kept waking up. He knew I was beat & was trying to be nice. I knew he wanted to see the game & was trying to be nice. He just got frustrated that I wasn't letting him solve the problem for me. His intentions were good lol. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think people are really jumping to conclusions here.
Im with you on this, thats what i got from the story...it just SOUNDS wrong the way she worded it.
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on Nov. 27, 2009 at 5:44 AM