Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I wish he could know her...

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:48 PM
  • 9 Replies

Long awaited re-arrival of myself on here.  I haven't been on Cafe Mom since my mother passed away in September.  I'm sad that we couldn't reconcile our relationship to it's fullest, I'm sad that I didn't call her as often as I should.  But what I'm even more sad about is my son will never get to meet her, he'll never get to hug her, share stories with her about how his girlfriends did this or that.  She'll never get to sneak him off for a day, load him on sugar and then bring him home, she won't get to be there for his first birthday, his first steps, his potty training, his first girlfriend, his first date, his first kiss....all those firsts he's going to have, she can't be there for them now....I never imagined my mother's death being this hard to deal with, and lasting this long.  I still cry every night, I swear I can hear her and see her.  When will it get easier?

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:48 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
by Bronze Member on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:52 PM

I am sorry for you loss.  I lost my Dad this past October.  There is no time limit on grieving. Time will pass the pain will ease but i don't think it ever gets easier.  You never stop missing the people you love. 

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:55 PM

I wish you could.....I'm tired of hurting so bad like this.

by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2009 at 12:17 AM

Quoting ilovesos3190:

I wish you could.....I'm tired of hurting so bad like this.

Trust me i know just give yourself time

by Susie on Dec. 2, 2009 at 8:16 AM

It does get better.  My Mom and Dad have both passed away, my Dad 25 years ago.  I am sad he never met my girls, but its something you have to realize and deal with.  Its hard at first, but I still miss him just as much 25 years later.  I was just married 4 months when my Dad passed away.  My Mom remarried and my stepdad was wonderful and my girls got to spend several years with him as their grandpa until he passed away.  My girls were in grade school at the time.  My Mom passed away 2 years ago.  We don't live by family and the last events we saw my Mom at was my oldest sweet 16 party and my brothers 50th Birthday which I know she was able to feel good and have a good time at and have some great last memories for herself and for us. 

You can't dwell on what your relationship may have worked into but think of the good times and where your relationship was when she died. 

Cars were my Dad's hobby and he would love that his granddaughter is a car freak and loves cars too.  He would be so happy. 

by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 9:11 AM

I believe your mom WILL be there for your son's first's. She will lead your son and protect him. Seek comfort in the fact that there is life after death. I don't know what your beliefs are... but this is what *I* believe.

by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 9:12 AM

My brother passed nearly 4 years ago in April (brain aneurysm at 31). It gets easier but it never goes away. He left behind a wife & 5 kids- and she has remarried and the kids call another man "daddy". It is hard still, but it does get a little easier everyday.

Don't sweat the petty stuff- and don't pet the sweaty stuff!

Cassieopia Hursh- a.k.a. Twiliyte
Batesville, Arkansas

Homeschooling Mommy of 4
AxL Layn- 3/9/98                 Odin Fenix- 1/21/00
Andromeda- 6/20/01          Xander Jack Oryon- 9/5/03

by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 10:58 AM

My Dad passed away in 2005 from cancer. It was awful. My girls were 5 and 18 months when he died. I am now preggo and feel bad that this baby will not get to meet him. However I am comferted by the fact that my baby will know him through all the stories and memories that we all share about him. Even though he is not here, I still talk about him like he is. My kids are now 9 and 6 and they know and love Pop-pop very much. I still miss him very much . Some days are harder than others but on those days I just pray.

by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 11:02 AM

I can't imagine how hard this is for you and I'm so sorry for your loss.  My father is alive but virtually non-existant in my son's life, and it hurts me so much sometimes.  It takes time.  I wish my grandfather was alive to see my son, or to have met my husband, being that my father hasn't been the greatest male figure in my life I wish the man who had been was here to see everything my life has become.  It will get better, hugs and prayers to you.

by on Dec. 2, 2009 at 2:28 PM

Aww sweet Let me share my story First my mom has been gone for 7ys..the first year was the hardest getting through all of the *firsts* without her..First Mothersday, first Easter..all of those *firsts* ,when she was alive I wanted another baby sooo bad every month for 10 yreas I cried to her and she always said when the time is right and your w/ the right guy God will give you your baby..well 2 years after she passed I met a great guy who lost his mother exactly 1 year after I lost mine..they were 1 month apart in age and Both in heaven looking down on what a mess our lives had become..In my heart I believe they met there and the 2 of them brought us together to SAVE us!! after she passed I didnt care about much.. 4 years ago I got preggers with my now 3 year old..his Firsts were like the *firsts* all over again..I kept saying that whole first year *she should be here* ya know what she is .she help me have the life that I have now and my Family (especially my youngest) and she did it because I kept her alive in my heart by always remebering her.specially on all of the*FIRSTS*..I know it hurts but know that she is there Guiding you through it all..:) much love and huge huggs

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)