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Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 12:19 PM
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 Hey ladies,

My fiancee is getting a vasectemy in a few days. We currently have two boys (20 months and 2 months) and he has a six year old daughter from a previous relationship. Despite all of this  I want one more! I love being a mommy. However I don't want another for a few years and bc pills and hormonal stuff like that doesnt work too well for me. We've decided that in the long run, after I have established my career (I'm going to school for psychology) we would like to adopt.

I'm REALLY excited about this decision and I think we would want to go for a child around 2 or 3 year old but I'm sure when the time comes we would do whatever seemed like the best fit for us. I would like a child past a year old because I know its harder for them to find homes. My issue is that it seems like the ONLY time you hear about people fostering or adopting older children its a horrible negative story about some kid who cant form emotional attachments, was mentally disturbed and tried to kill the family, etc. I try not to let these stories deter me, but I want to make sure I know of some good happy stories to offset them anyway. I dont think they get told enough. So here's the spot to do so ladies! Please post any adoption/foster parenting success stories here! Thanks!

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 12:19 PM
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by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:52 PM

We adopted our middle daughter almost 3 years ago. We did not adopt through foster care, but internationally. When we received our daughter she was 17 months old.

Our process began 3/10/05. Our dossier was sent to China on 9/7/05, from there we were logged into their system on 10/10/05. It took 17 months for us to receive our referral. The call came in at noon on 2/1/07. I was at work when my cell phone rang. I was instantly hysterical when I heard the China director of the agency on the other end. I took down the information and came home. When I got home, Dh wasn't here. He had gone to lunch with some friends, so I called him and said " you have a daughter come home". He pulled into the driveway about 5 minutes later. Then we made the requisite phone calls to the family. The following day, we went to the gancey to see her picture and to sign the paperwork accepting the referral. The following month flew by. On 3/7/07 we got the call that our travel invitation had come from China and that our Consulate appt was set for April 13, 2007. Dh made plane reservations that day since we had to leave on 3/29.

We arrived in Beijing on 3/30/07 and toured until the 3rd. 4/3/07 was the day that we flew to our dd's province. 2 hours after we landed we met our daughter Lillian in an office building in Guanzhou China. She was very stoic the first 2 days and then her personality began to emerge. After2 more weeks we flew back to Atlanta.

Lilly is now 4 years old and is as silly as they come...she loves to dance, sing, torture her younger sister, and is just a joy.

It is imperative that you do a lot of research about adoption before embarking upon the process. Read about attachment issues, RAD, SID, SPD and just prepare yourself for the unexpected. Even in a "successful" adoption the adoptee WILL experience grief and loss. That will affect them in some will be up to you as the parent to aide them in dealing with that grief. It is vital that the child is allowed to grieve and be able to vocalize what is bothering them. It is also vital that you understand that every state and country has different laws regarding adoption.

There are many adoption groups on CM. You will be able to get a ton of information on them... Adoption, Touched by Adoption, International Adoption Connection...


" I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Admin- International Adoption
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 7:21 PM

Thank you PP for sharing! No one else has a story to share? 

by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 2:13 PM

Bump again since only one person replied...

by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 3:33 PM

i'd love to adopt a child from Haiti. i see those little chubby cheeks and i melt.

good luck to you and your family.


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