Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you have to see someone to know..

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:52 PM
  • 11 Replies

I am wondering how many people feel they need to see someone that died (in a viewing or something) to have closure, or to really believe they died. I dont mean that without seeing the person you believe they are still living, but by seeing them it some how gives you closure (I cant think of any other way to explain it). My friend died and I couldnt go to the funeral and I KNOW he really died, but its just wierd thinking I never got any kind of closure. I don;t know. anyone knwo what i mean?

     I'm Slow

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:52 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
AMarineLovesMe
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:57 PM

I know what you mean.  With my papa I went to his viewing, but was unable to make his funeral the following weekend and even though I saw him in his casket like that, I still feel like I have no closure since I wasn't at the burial and haven't seen his headstone.  A little morbid I know, but that's just how I feel.

Pregnancy%20ticker
tristansmom74
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:00 PM

I know what you mean sort of.  But I don't have that problem. No need to see the body to know they are gone. In fact, I'd rather not.   Closed casket OK. Open, not so good. It never looks like the person anyway.

SunnyJoJo
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:03 PM

I don't need to see a body to believe someone passed away. But it is nice to be able to say good bye to them. I know they are dead and their body is just that, a body, but it's who I remembered and loved and to me it's a way of just saying bye.

So I guess I do know what you mean. if you are wanting closure, perhaps visiting their grave would help you say good bye?


Our family is little and broken, but still good.

autumnsmommy02
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:03 PM

My dad was killed when I was 17 and due to the way he was killed it was closed casket. I still today 12 years later can't seem to get it to register. I still see someone that looks like him and have to do a double take or look for him in crowds. I guess that lack of closure for me made it hard for my brain to connect with the reality that he's really gone.


darcyh5
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:10 PM

Nope, I have not looked at a dead body in years,  I think it is really morbid to look at the dead body,  Especially people that take pictures.  My dad died two years ago, creamated, with no viewing.  (He died of a heart attack)

nettesmomma
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 9:48 AM

I personally have a hard time going to funerals.  I go because it's socially unacceptable NOT to go.  I become the B who was too good to go to so-and-so's funeral if I don't go, so I just go.  I don't want to remember them painted and fake looking in the casket, I'd rather hold onto the memories that I had of them alive.

SunnyJoJo
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 11:13 AM

I've never seen anyone ever take a picture of the body at a funeral.... kinda creepy. I can get like the burial pictures and stuff, another cafemommer took pictures at her husband's funeral and I can see something like that would be nice to show her daughter one day, but really pictures of the body?? I guess to each their own.

Quoting darcyh5:

Nope, I have not looked at a dead body in years,  I think it is really morbid to look at the dead body,  Especially people that take pictures.  My dad died two years ago, creamated, with no viewing.  (He died of a heart attack)



I'm a momma. It's my job to have an opinion and the answers.

CoeyG
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 12:12 PM

No I don't  I have a very good friend who was murdered by her husband.  He shot her 5 times in the face when she was trying to leave the marriage (abusive). 

I didn't go to her funeral because I wanted to remember as she had been while we were growing up.  I visited her grave a couple of times though later on. 

mamawmom
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 12:26 PM

Thats a good question.I dont like to look at the body because that last image stays in your head and like someone said,it usually dont look like them. Especially if your not use to seeing that person in a suit or with a beauty shop hairdo and makeup.I would rather remember the natural person.I dont go to the grave often either because I know my loved one is not there.My sister sees it as a respect thing to go but I only go to make sure the gravesite is cared for.Im going to look for them as soon as I reach heaven.

pinkbutterflies
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 3:07 PM

I know exactly what you mean. I went to my cousins funeral last week and he was cremated so no viewing i feel like i didn'tget to say a final goodbye. I feel like the same happened with my mom the funeral home closed her casket before I got to say goodbye. Other  people felt the same way that they never  got to say their final goodbyes.  I think seeing someone helps with closure. I still haven't accepted that my mom is gone and she passed in july. I know it takes time.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)