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Not Always Right - Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:29 AM
  • 38 Replies

Anyone who has ever worked in any service industry (from front desk clerk to grocery store cashier, lol) will appreciate this website, lol. 

http://notalwaysright.com



Here's a few "clippings" from there as a preview :) 


Born To Offend

Gas Station | Pittsburgh, PA, USA

Me: “Hello, ma’am. How may I help you?”

Woman: “Oh, when is your baby due?”

Me: “I’m not pregnant, ma’am, just fat.”

Woman: “That’s very rude, you know. Pretending to be pregnant just so people can be nice to you!”

Me: *gritting teeth* “I am not pretending anything, ma’am, I promise you. Now, how may I help you?”

Woman: “No! You are a liar, and I am going somewhere where non-lying people can help me!”

Me: “Thank you ma’am, and have a nice day.”

Woman: “LIAR!”





There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People, Part 2

Garden Center | Toronto, ON, Canada

(I overheard a coworker trying to help someone choose a plant.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a nice plant for the front of my house.”

Coworker: “Alright, we have a number of excellent options to choose from. What kind of sun exposure does the spot get?”

Customer: “Well… it’s light all day, then dark at night.”

Me: *losing hope*




Okay, That Was A Little Mean

Retail | Washington, D.C., USA

(Our store was pretty dead on this night; no one came in for at least half an hour before closing, but like good employees we kept the doors unlocked until our registers read 8 o’clock on the dot. I lock the doors, and five minutes later, a woman walks up to the door.)

Customer: *pulls on door, notices it’s locked, pulls harder*

Me: “I’m sorry, we’re closed. But we’ll be open at nine tomorrow.”

Customer: “What the h***?”

Me: “Ma’am, we closed five minutes ago. I’m sorry, but our hours are posted.”

Customer: “This is insane, it’s 7:59! You shouldn’t lock the doors so early.”

Me: “Our registers show that it’s 8:07–” (I look at my watch and my cell phone) “–and I’ve got 8:08. I’m sorry, we open at nine tomorrow.”

Customer: “I just need a few things! It won’t take long.”

Me: “Our registers are closed, so there’s no money in them. You can come back tomorrow at nine. Even if it was 7:59, it takes more than one minute to shop and check out.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I just need a few things.”

Me: “Fine.”

(I unlock the doors to let her in; my coworker finishes closing the registers. The woman runs around the store for ten minutes, grabbing several things that probably could have waited until morning, and plops them down on the register.)

Coworker: *smiles* “Did you find everything you needed?”

Customer: “Yes, thanks.”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, our registers have been closed for 20 minutes and I can’t ring the sale after hours. Would you like me to hold it for you until tomorrow?”

(The customer’s jaw drops. I go to hold the door open for her.)

Me: “We open at nine.”

(Coworker and I high-five.)



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by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ninipanini
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:41 AM

Those are hilarious!  When I worked for Omaha Steaks, a customer mentioned the flavor of the steaks was delicious but it was really hard getting the "tough membrane" off the meat.  The steaks were shrink-wrapped.  LOL!

mamapaparazzi
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:54 AM

LMAO!!

Quoting ninipanini:

Those are hilarious!  When I worked for Omaha Steaks, a customer mentioned the flavor of the steaks was delicious but it was really hard getting the "tough membrane" off the meat.  The steaks were shrink-wrapped.  LOL!


mamafor6
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:01 AM

I work in housekeeping at a hotel and just yesterday I had a guy who was staying over ask if he could have service for his room (we had already serviced him) so I said yes sir but you will have to wait for us to finish up the other satyovers since we have already serviced yor room once. He said yes I know that but you didnt put away our luggage for us. Our clothes have been left in the suitcases for two days now.

 I replied to him that we are not allowed to touch the guests personal items so we can not put away their luggage.

mamapaparazzi
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:08 AM

Omg, seriously?? LOL!  I work at a hotel, too... that's crazy that they thought housekeeping was there to put their stuff away, LOL.  Unpack your own suitcase, ya lazy thing, LOL!

Quoting mamafor6:

I work in housekeeping at a hotel and just yesterday I had a guy who was staying over ask if he could have service for his room (we had already serviced him) so I said yes sir but you will have to wait for us to finish up the other satyovers since we have already serviced yor room once. He said yes I know that but you didnt put away our luggage for us. Our clothes have been left in the suitcases for two days now.

 I replied to him that we are not allowed to touch the guests personal items so we can not put away their luggage.


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mamapaparazzi
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:08 AM

I love this one, LOL.... oh, the visual!



How To Lose Your Marbles In Style

Clothing Store | Florida, USA

(Our store used to have a completely gutted 1957 Chevy truck as a center piece. It was part of the store’s trademark. Walking down the store past the truck, I am stopped by an old man.)

Me: “Sir?”

Old Man: “Young lady, how much are you selling this truck for?”

Me: “Sorry sir, the truck isn’t for sale. It’s owned by [company].”

Old Man: “I’ll give you 100 dollars for it.”

Me: “Sir, the truck is not for sale. I apologize.”

Old Man: “All right…I’ll give you two hundred!”

Me: “Sir, the truck is not for sale. And even if it was, it would be for a LOT more than 200 dollars.”

Old Man: “Yes, I suppose you’re right… SAY! SOMEONE STEALING, LOOK!” *points behind me*

(As I turn to look behind me, the man climbs the crates next to the truck, opens the driver’s seat door and gets behind the wheel.)

Old Man: “WHOOOOOOOOO-HAW! CAN’T CATCH ME NOW, CAN YOU!” *swings steering wheel around and starts to make gun noises* “PEW PEW! PEWW PEW!”

(Mall Security ended up being called, after the old man was “trying” to run us over. I wish I was joking.)

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mamafor6
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:09 AM

I know right HERES YOUR SIGN the same guy also asked me if we could go clean the tub as soon as his son was done bathing

Quoting mamapaparazzi:

Omg, seriously?? LOL!  I work at a hotel, too... that's crazy that they thought housekeeping was there to put their stuff away, LOL.  Unpack your own suitcase, ya lazy thing, LOL!

Quoting mamafor6:

I work in housekeeping at a hotel and just yesterday I had a guy who was staying over ask if he could have service for his room (we had already serviced him) so I said yes sir but you will have to wait for us to finish up the other satyovers since we have already serviced yor room once. He said yes I know that but you didnt put away our luggage for us. Our clothes have been left in the suitcases for two days now.

 I replied to him that we are not allowed to touch the guests personal items so we can not put away their luggage.



glitterteaz
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:15 AM

Oh the last one is priceless I love it!!!

mamapaparazzi
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:34 AM

Here's one that happened the other night at the hotel, lol.

3 AM and this chick walks in wanting to apply for a job... then proceeds to tell me that she's a Sergeant, 2nd class in the Air Force, a title she inherited from her father because her mother didn't want it, and in the Air Force, titles are passed down to the daughters, and since she was the first daughter to claim it, it was hers.  Not rank... title.  And I don't know if that rank even exists in the Air Force, lol.

And she had a penthouse in Fargo but was staying at a shelter here looking for a job.  And going to school for abnormal psych.  And that they moved the high school here in town from Fargo seventy years ago - in 1980.  And she knew President Reagan personally (she's my age which would have made her a child when he was president) and that she'd walked 15 miles from downtown to apply here (the town isn't even 15 miles wide, I don't think, lol).

Needless to say, my boss didn't hire her, lol.  Bat shiz crazy, that lady was, lol.

ninipanini
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:37 AM

LMAO!  Crazy much?

The guy who thought housekeeping unpacked for them?  Lazy much?

Lazy, crazy customers seems to sum it all up.


 

Quoting mamapaparazzi:

Here's one that happened the other night at the hotel, lol.

3 AM and this chick walks in wanting to apply for a job... then proceeds to tell me that she's a Sergeant, 2nd class in the Air Force, a title she inherited from her father because her mother didn't want it, and in the Air Force, titles are passed down to the daughters, and since she was the first daughter to claim it, it was hers.  Not rank... title.  And I don't know if that rank even exists in the Air Force, lol.

And she had a penthouse in Fargo but was staying at a shelter here looking for a job.  And going to school for abnormal psych.  And that they moved the high school here in town from Fargo seventy years ago - in 1980.  And she knew President Reagan personally (she's my age which would have made her a child when he was president) and that she'd walked 15 miles from downtown to apply here (the town isn't even 15 miles wide, I don't think, lol).

Needless to say, my boss didn't hire her, lol.  Bat shiz crazy, that lady was, lol.


mamapaparazzi
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:58 AM

Here's a good one, whoa, lol...

 

 

The Joys Of Motherhood

Convenience Store | Virginia, USA

(A mom and little girl are waiting in line. I watch from a different line.)

Little Girl: “Can I have this candy?”

Mom: “No, put it back.”

Little Girl: “But that’s not fair! That’s not fair!”

Mom: “Cut that out!”

Little Girl: *takes a deep breath and calms down, then turns to her mom* “I’m killing you. I’m going to kill you.”

Mom: “…”

 

 

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