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So much on my shoulders, so stressed out I cant even think straight, can anyone cheer me up at least????

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:12 PM
  • 12 Replies

Since just after new years I have been so stressed and stretched so far between family members I am just about to break.  Just after Thanksgiving my father decided he was done drinking, after over 35 years he decided he was done. He just stopped cold turkey, not good if you have been drinking that much for that long.  Once he stopped that everything else kinda gave out too.  He didnt even want to get out of his chair and sat there for two weeks eating nothing drinking nothing, peeing himself and just getting worse.  He decided finally he was going to get up, stood up his bad ankle gave out probably from being so weak and he fell on his knees which also gave out.  He laid on the floor for five days.  He may have had a stroke or heart attack durring that time he was on the floor. He was found on the floor on January 4th in his own feces and completely dilusional, most likely a combination of the DTs, sever renal failure, dehydration, and a "cardiac incident". He was comepletely out of it until last week. We were prepared for him to die, but he made a wonderfull recovery. 
In between that time my brother has been not eating and havig a hard time with his girlfriend and my mom was begging me to get him away from her so he would stop getting so sick, he was losing weight so quickly, his ulcers were bleeding excessively and he was crying every time he talked to my mom, but he wouldnt leave his gf because "he loved her".  She is a bad bad person and treats my brother like crap which my brother has never let any woman do.  And my mom is the kind of person who if you dont listen and agree with her she wont shut up about it and keeps going on and on and on.  I finally talked him into coming out  to my house, I live pretty far from all of them and being away from that town would be good for him in every way.  He is considering moving in with us, which is hard because we have a small house but we cant get anything bigger cause we cant afford it and we cant count on him really to pay anything because he is the kind of person who if he gets a bug up his butt he will just up and leave for the hell of it.  So not the kind of person to rely on for rent or anything like that.
Recently my neice has been super sick puking every single day missing two weeks of school already and still sick and the doctors say its just the flu, my mom is now also hurting really bad and they arent sure why.  She also may have broken her nose today because my little sister refuses to wake up with her daughter so my mom who is in tons of pain and not feeling well is taking care of herself and my niece and its just not good.
I have to make phone calls daily to try and get my dad approved for nursing home or assisted living care because he cant even get out of bed on his own, not to mention the bed sores that may take a month or more to heal up. He fell down yesterday because he wanted toget out of bed and the nurse didnt come in there fast enough.  The doctors and his social worker say he is medically ready to be discharged if he has a place to go, and his social worker said that if he had a house to go home to with a bed and a room and locks he could go to that and she would send people at least once a day for physical therapy, but that would mean he is alone for the rest fo the 20hours with no one to watch him or help him.   His medical insurance say he is not disabled enough to be covered in a nursing or assisted living facility, even though he cant even walk without help and needs extensive physical therapy, and is not old enough to be considered retired(he is 56 he needs to be 62 or older).  It can take at least 45 days to be approved for DSHS medical.
On top of all of this I am still needing to be a wife and mother and I live so far away that I cant really do too much but make phone calls.  Its raining and gross outside so the kids are stuck inside and going stir crazyand running out of things to do, no school today for my son because of records day.  All I want to do is go into my room and cry, of course I cant because I have so much to do and cant just leave everyone and tell them to do it themselves. 
I just need someone to cheer me up somehow, I dont know maybe just need to talk to someone or soemthing I dont know.  I just know that I need a break and at the moment cant take a real break because I am waiting for three people to call me back about my dad, and waiting for my mom to call me back about her dr appointment so I know that there isnt anything seriously going on with her, dont think I could deal with that one.
If nothing else thank you all for at least reading this.

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:29 PM

Wow, I'm sorry you are going through all this.  I'm having a crapy start to my new year as well, grandma is going to be "leaving" us soon, and my mom is in the hospital due to blood clots in the brain and mini strokes. 


BUT, 97

does that help?? LOL! Probably not, but I tried!!

Dont worry, things will get better, just try to turn to some good friends that you can lean on, whether it be in your everyday life or on here. 

I'll say prayers for you and your family!!

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:31 PM

You have a lot of stress on you right now!  I hope that things will get better for you soon. Why dontyou try taking a few hours just for yourself. Even if it is just to sit in the tub and relax. Sounds like you desperately need it. Many times we get caught up in the everyday stresses and worries that we often forget about ourselves.  There is so many things going on with you right now. Iam sure you are ready to pull your hair out. ((hugs))

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:37 PM

I am so sorry your are going through all this. I've had my share of horrible times as well,my best advice to you is to try your best to keep your head up and not let it all get you down. it is very hard...i know. but trust me everything will get better;put it all in God's hands and he will BE SURE that everything IS TAKEN CARE OF!


I will keep you and your family in my prayers;message me and keep me updated please.

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:38 PM


by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:54 PM

I am sorry you are going through so much.  I can relate... a little... but you have more on your plate than I have at the moment.

Can you take a moment for you and just relax for an hour and attempt to recharge that way?  I have a big bath tub and sometimes after the kids go to bed I go in there with a book and light some candles and close the door and spend some time just relaxing and surrrendering the burdens to my Higher Power.  It really does help.

Here is a long distance hug.  I hope things look better for you soon.

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 2:03 PM

I have to wait for people to call me back about my dad, otherwise I would take advantage of my husbads day off to take off on my own for a while.  But the llamma song helped, and now my daughter wants one of those for her birthday too, oh yeah I forgot I have a birthday party for my daughter to fun

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 2:09 PM

Well my advice to you, before you yourself has a heart attack, would be to stop worrying about everyone else and THEIR problems/issues, and worry about your family and your kids and your household. Why put so much un-needed stress on yourself. You can only help those who want to help themselves, and if they reach out to you then so be it, but good lord you aren't superwoman! All women are perceived as that, and its just simply not true. I would definately take into consideration that all this stress is not good for YOUR health.

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 2:14 PM

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by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 2:30 PM

Quoting NSeni:

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by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 2:50 PM

NO I am not superwoman, I explained that to my daughter who was very disappointed LOL.  I worry about my mom, and am wanting to help my brother and he is wanting to come live with me. Not a big deal just less space.  My dad needs me, he has no one else to help him and cant do it himself.  The social worker seems to just be half assing it and I am doing all the work for her and she keeps blowing me off. Its frustrating too.  It is really hard to just tell everyone to leave me alone, I care too much about them...

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