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What's your song?

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:01 PM
  • 16 Replies

Been doing a lot of thinking today and, as usual, had my iPod in it's docking station playing music.  I decided that I'd find a song that fit my mood.  I've been dealing with moderately severe depression for most of my life.  My life has not been peaches and cream.  Abused and raped at the tender age of 4, still a toddler, and then abandoned to deal with the aftermath by my mother and father.  Then raped again at 14 and no matter how hard I tried, I lost the battle and my rapist never even got a slap on the wrist.  Finally, marrying my high school sweetheart and suffering emotional and sexual abuse at his hand for nearly seven years (two before we married and lived together then five after we married).  Why did I marry him?  Because I was 19 and pregnant and scared.  I've been away from him since September 28th, 2006.  I'll never forget that day.  That was the day I told him no more.

Again, for the most part, I was forced to deal with the rapes and abuse on my own.  My mother was a drunk and drug abuser, my dad was gone a lot.  My sister was too self-involved to want to have anything to do with me and the rest of my family tried to pretend it all never happened.  I've been dealing with a particularly bad case of depression in recent years and have tried many different medications to treat it.  All of which have had no affect until we started combining them. 

Recently, my family totally abandoned me and, while I know it was for the best, I still feel very alone.  My hubby helps, but he's 830+ miles away 90% of the time.  I'm a mom now and trying to do my best.  Thinking about all of this, I picked a song.  This is me and my mind set right now.

What's your song?

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SunnyJoJo
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:14 PM

I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much in life.

Um do you want my mind set right now song? Cause your gonna laugh... I'm in this sexy b*tch dance party mind set right now for some reason! lol! I can't stop listening to this song... prolly not the best one for the kiddos but my 1 year old dances up a storm. Maybe I'm weird to have this song as a mind set. lmao!



I'm a momma. It's my job to have an opinion and the answers.

Gretchen2876
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:15 PM


Your mind is like an umbrella in the rain, if it's open, it works. If it's closed..............

Lil_ol_me9306
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:17 PM

Damn I wish I had a body like some of those girls!  Freaking 10 lbs babies have spread my hips beyond repair.

Thank you for posting.  It's a fun song!

Quoting SunnyJoJo:

I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much in life.

Um do you want my mind set right now song? Cause your gonna laugh... I'm in this sexy b*tch dance party mind set right now for some reason! lol! I can't stop listening to this song... prolly not the best one for the kiddos but my 1 year old dances up a storm. lmao.



Lil_ol_me9306
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:18 PM

To me, it sounds like a song of hope.  Thank you for sharing.  It's lovely.

Quoting Gretchen2876:



tinybubblez
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:21 PM
Bob Dylan : The Times They Are A-changin'

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.
chin up, lil_ol. put in your earbuds and rock out, sista !
GenevieveD
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:23 PM



careheart
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:24 PM

This song seems like it would help you. When I went through a bad divorce. I know it was the best. I listend to you ain't worth missing by Toby Keith.

 

CoeyG
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:30 PM

 

maciymommieof3
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:36 PM

love love love love love love love.........................

Quoting GenevieveD:



iwmoln2120
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:39 PM

my song at the moment is leave out all the rest by linkin park

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that i've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what i made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that i've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

I can't be who you are

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