Do you agree with this answer? Should you hide liquor in your home from teens?

[mamapaparazzi]

Q: A relative recently gave us an antique liquor cabinet that has been in the family for a long time. It came fully stocked as part of the gift. We have two teens in our household, and my husband and I are worried about the easy access to alcohol since the cabinet does not lock. How do we keep our kids safe while not offending this relative?

A: There is no reason you have to use the cabinet to store liquor, the Help for Families panel says. The panelists say the alcohol should not be accessible in a home with teenagers. They recommend you use the cabinet for something else and either dispose of, or move, the alcohol.

Another alternative is to fabricate some type of lock for the cabinet, says panelist Rochelle Freedman.

''Different people have different attitudes about the role of alcohol,'' she says. ''If you don't want to get rid of it, you could hide the alcohol somewhere else.''

The panel agrees it is better not to place temptation in reach of your children.

''Your kids are getting to the age when they are hearing about drinking parties,'' says panelist Marcie Lightwood. ''It's a short time until they are of age and it's not a problem anymore.''

She suggests you thank your relative and give the alcohol away.

''By giving away alcohol, you can open a conversation with your teenagers and explain why you don't want it in your home,'' she says.

This is an opportunity for a teachable moment, agrees panelist Ann Adams.

''It's a good conversation piece to discuss alcohol,'' she says. ''Ask for their input in how you should handle the situation.''

Figure out what your priorities are.

''Are you willing to put aside your own values for the sake of someone else's feelings?'' asks panelist Latif Matt. ''Remember it's still a family heirloom whether it's full or empty.''

Perhaps you feel you can't show enough excitement about this gift because of the alcohol.

''You still can show excitement about the piece and what you are going to do with it,'' Freedman says.

Your relatives may not realize the potential harm of their gift.

For some people, alcohol is part of the decor and a status symbol, says panelist Joanne Nigito-Raftas.

''Parents need to think about things when there are kids in the household,'' she says. ''You need to be aware how your environment is influencing your child in all ways.''

How a parent uses alcohol has been shown to have more effect on children than what a parent tells a child about alcohol, Lightwood says.

''When you do have alcohol in home, model appropriate use,'' Freedman says. ''Your children should see you moderately consuming alcohol.''

Also you need to be aware alcohol in the home is a temptation not only for your children but also for their visiting friends.

''That's one way to save face with your relatives,'' Matt suggests. ''Tell them you are concerned about the other kids that you can't supervise.''

[atlmom2]

We don't have much and do not hide it.  We know how much is there and several bottles are not even opened.  We never keep any in the basement where the kids hang out. 

My neighbor spaced having 2 fridges in her new basement and stocked them with beer and has NO locks on them.  Even if your kids don't drink, their friends might. 

[mollymae09]

I would say if you have to hide it, then that's a bad sign.  You should be able to have alcohol in the home without worrying about your teens abusing it.  If you feel the need to hide it, it seems to me that the teens are probably searching for it in other places, and possibly getting into very bad situations.  I personally feel it's better to let them have a drink or two at home in a safe place where they can't harm themselves than at a party where something disasterous could happen.  Just my experience from being a teen myself.

[CoeyG]

I had access to alcohol during my growing up.  The fridge held more than one six pack of beer and there was always a whiskey bottle on the counter top, and I didn't drink.  There has always been a bottle of wine in our fridge and liquor in a cupboard during my daughter's growing up but she didn't drink in her teens either.  It is up to the parents to teach the kids family values and morals.  If the kids don't have them by the time they are teens then it's a bit too late because those lessons begin in the cradle.  

 

edited to read:  yes I do occasionlly have a glass of wine but not regularly, not constantly.  Maybe a glass twice a month.

[EireLass]

There are really good locksmiths that could put a fashionable lock on the cabinet that wouldn't look bad.

I didn't have any alcohol in the home while raising my kids. Didn't want them to think it was casual fare.

[davidjames07]

 We keep our liquor in a cabinet with child proof locks on them. But only b/c that's really the only place to keep them from getting smashed by ds. Once we have our own home with a bar we won't lock it up or hide it. A parent should be able to keep alcohol in their home and not fear their child or their friends would take it and drink it. I wouldn't mind if my 16 yr old asked me if he could have a beer, I would allow it under my supervision. If my kids friends parents were okay with their kids doing that as well then I would be fine with them having one beer too. But if they weren't and I caught them at my house doing it, it would be my job as a parent to inform the kids parents. I would expect the same type of treatment from other parents with my children. My husband feels the same. He grew up with a family that is very open and he started drinking at 16. Not as an alcoholic but under his mothers supervision and only when she was okay with it. She keeps every bottle of liquor she has on the counter and they drink alot. 2 weeks before Christmas we all rent a camp ground with 2 Cabins that hold up to 80 people and a Dining hall for 4 days. The adults drink all the time. The ones that stay drunk have children that are older. The youngest children our mine and dhs. All the alcohol is in the coolers or inside in the fridge and the liqour is on the counters. There is alot of it but the parents trust their kids. We've never had a problem with the kids sneaking the alcohol. They ask and if the parents say no thats the end of it. If they drink it is only a beer or two and once you pop the top your keys are taken and put away no one is allowed to leave until they are sober. Thats the only rule there.

[supermom3806]

I wouldnt hide my liquor of course there is none in my house but if there is I wouldnt hide it. Really whats the point of hiding it because if they want to drink they will find a way to drink. I think if my kids want to drink I'd much rather have them home with me so I can watch them && know where they are. Now I would sit them down && talk to them about drinking && how bad it is but I know I cant stop them if they want to drink.  

[mferruz]

I don't believe in locking up alcohol.  I believe in teaching resposibility and moderation with alcohol.

[monshine2]

I just have to ask Didn't these parent teach their kids at a young age to stay away from Alcohol?? OK I get the reality is that the teens will more than likely drink but there are more ways to get it than the parents liquor cabinet. All we did was find someone in front of the liquor store, look cute, & ask  -BAM! we got the booze! I'm just saying - All you can do it teach your kids right from wrong and hope they get it. Hope they use better judgement, etc... You can't hide this stuff their whole lives.
We have very little and don't hide it but it is kept up on a top shelf in the cabinet.

[gardenchic]

nope, unless there is a problem, my parents, used to mark where the booze was with a pencil, they knew if we took a drop,,, but we just added water, ha ha! we are both drinkers and we know what we have! and yes, there are teens here too!