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how do you get over it.(miscarriage)

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 5:54 PM
  • 13 Replies

i had posted before that i had found out i was prego while in the er for a sprained back. unfortunately within two weeks of finding out i lost the baby. I was devastated! I thought it was silly for me to be so upset at first. i mean we were not trying and we realy didn't need to get pregnant right now. but i was so happy that i was and it hurts so bad that im not now. After a week of nonstop crying i was able to function and i thought i was ok...but now all i want to do is cry again and i feel so sad all the time. i am so angry i feel like someone just took my baby away. and there is nothing i can do. i know i can always try again. but the situation still remains we knew it wasn't the best time to get pregnant so it would kinda be irresponsible to get pregnant again. but dang it hurts so bad. how do you cope and how do you get the tears to stop!

lost and empty



by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 5:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 6:01 PM

 I have no experience with this so all I can offer is a ((hug)) and a bump

by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 6:02 PM

I had 3 m/c's none of them were planned pregnancies but I was sad after too. I just always ended up pregnant again with in the next few cycles.

by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 6:07 PM

I don't know...just try to keep busy and surround yourself with great people.




by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 6:08 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. I have had 2 and I will never get over it. They are always in my thoughts and heart. I find it helps to cry. I take a bath (my only alone time) and just cry.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2010 at 6:11 PM

 Ive had a few you need to accept and mourn the passing...It will help more than thinking "well I can replace the pregnancy",

by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 6:12 PM

It takes time,  it's been 13 years since my last stillborn.  I still cry at times.  But I feel better when I think of them being in Jesus loving arms.  I've got a poem somewhere around here.  When I locate it I'll post it.


by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 6:44 PM

I am sorry for your loss.  It is painful to lose a child at any stage of their life.  I lost my first child at 3 days old, my second early in pregnancy.  My second loss wasn't any easier than the first, it was just different.  Grief can not be prorated.  Losing a child early in pregnancy isn't "just a miscarriage", it is the loss of a CHILD.  Our society doesn't really give women permission to grieve an early loss, which can make such a loss even more difficult.  I always hated when people would say "you can always get pregnant again."  Nobody tells a freshly widowed woman "you can always get married again".  It's not like when your goldfish dies and you can just go out and get another one.  Every child is unique and important.  Having another baby does not erase the love you had for your lost child or the pain of losing them.  It sounds like your loss is still fresh, so there is no need to feel like you shouldn't still be hurting or crying.  Healing from such a devastating loss takes time.  Day by day, it gets just a little easier.  Every once in a while, you might have a small set back, but that is normal.  Joining a pregnancy loss support group may be beneficial.  It can be helpful to meet other women who can really understand how you are feeling.

by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 7:15 PM

Aw, I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) I don't really have any good advice, just wanted to say it's definitely NOT silly for you to be upset. You're still grieving so just take your time and cry all you want. It's part of the process..

by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:31 PM

For me it was just time that healed my heart and my mind. I had 2 before I had my kids.

by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:35 PM

you dont get OVER it - you get THROUGH it.
I miscarried 2 years ago ... we had been tryign for almost 9 months to get pregnant and then finally got that positive test.  then after a couple of month.... it just died,  there was my baby in there..arms and legs and all...but no beating heart.  I still think o f it all the time, but its better now..easier.
you will be ok.  give yourself some time to grieve and then get trying again if thats what you still want.  it will be ok.  In fact many women get pregnant quickly after a loss because the hormones or something. I didnt try again because after that we discovered something wonky in my bloodwork and it could be and auto-immune illness... so we decided against trying again for fear that i would lose again.

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