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Is your mom mean to you? long sorry

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:17 PM
  • 8 Replies

 My mom is such a bitch to me.  Ive been trying for years to have a relationship with her but she never comes through.  when i was a kid she did drugs and really had no interest in me or my sister.  my dad died when i was 4 and it made things alot harder for us kids.  ive seen my mom O.D.  she was asleep for like 3 days so we went to a neighbor to ask for food.  the lady called an ambulance for my mom and when my mom came home she got mad at me and my sister for going to the neighbors house.  she has tracks marks on her arms from needles.

now my mom has quit doing drugs and she thinks she is better than me.  i did nothing for her to not talk to me.  the only bad thing i have done is quit high school.  no one was there for me and she didnt care.  so i was depressed and quit.  i think she was mad at me for quitting school because as long as i was going to school she would get a check every month because of my dad passing away.  i shouldnt have done that but i now have a higher paying job than her, i rent a house bigger than hers, and im responsible with my kids. 

she never calls me, never calls my kids, and has NEVER came to my house.  she doesnt invite me over and never wants to spend time with my kids.  if i do happen to come over, which isnt often, she acts like she wants to get me out of her house.  it hurts me alot.  my hubby has yelled at her before for it and now she hates him.  i cant win.  she told my grandma she was embarressed of me and my sister.  i can see why about my sister but i havent done anything wrong!?!?  my grandma told us that because she couldnt believe my mom said that.  if i call my mom with a problem or for advice she is like.."well what do you want me to do about it?"  or my favorite..."you should of thought about that before you shit 2 kids out"  i called her a bitch for that one.  i brought her a mother's day gift to my grandma's house last year and she said in a smart ass way "oh was i suppose to get you something?" 

i dont want to talk to her anymore but i call her from time to time for some reason.  i get more and more pist at her when i talk to her.  what would you do in this situation?  i feel like my kids are missing out on so many family experiences.  my 8yr old has been calling everyone on my hubbys side of the family out of state because he wants to have family around him.  i feel so bad.  we see her for xmas and thanksgiving at my grandmas every year but im just really there to see my grandparents.  i dont know what to do.   

 

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by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:17 PM
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Replies (1-8):
mommasbabies77
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:23 PM
By no means am I an expert in what a mother is supposed to be like bc I didn't have one growing up, but it doesn't seem to me that yours is much more than an egg donor. You deserve to be treated with respect and she's just not doing that. I'm very sorry, hon. I personally would give up. It seems like everytime you try(according to your story) you end up getting hurt. I know it hurts to feel like your own mother doesn't care but you don't have to keep setting yourself up for heartache. I don't really know what else to say except to offer you a hug and good luck:(


Wendy_June
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:31 PM

Are there other relatives that you can spend time or holidays with without your mom being there? She sounds rather toxic toward you, your DH and your children.  Could you go out and meet your grandparents somewhere else?

Andl2ea
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:43 PM

 

Quoting Wendy_June:

Are there other relatives that you can spend time or holidays with without your mom being there? She sounds rather toxic toward you, your DH and your children.  Could you go out and meet your grandparents somewhere else?

 the only family i have here is my mom's side of the family and we arent close.  my grandparents, my mom's parents, have always been nice to me and my hubby loves them,  although i dont see my grandparents very much.  holidays are the only time everyone gets together.  so my mom will definitely be there.  i just dont talk to her much when she is there and i told my grandma she is rude to me all the time and i dont like talking to her.  if i dont go to her house then my kids miss any type of family experience.  they look forward to going there to.  i can ignore her when im there its just the fact that she is such a bitch to me if i even try to talk to her.  its really just amazing to me. 

TheJerseyGirl
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:47 PM

 I was almost 4 when my dad died too!

mine at least provided a roof over my head, but I have nothing else good to say about her.

Mine is also an absentee grandparent...but I'm actually glad now!

You do not have to talk to your mother just because she is yoour mother. She has caused you a lot of pain in your life and maybe its best to keep your distance. I'm sorry your kids have no family around, but maybe she's not a positive role model to be around them anyway!

CoeyG
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:08 PM

 My mom had been dead for two years before I learned about it.  I can honestly say that I don't think her and I ever really did "bond" And she continued to resent me for keeping her tied to my father plus she didn't like the idea that I had my own thoughts about living my own life and wasn't going to relive her "glory days" she was known for holding grudges and hanging on to old resentments, my younger sister followed in her footsteps.   I decided a long time ago that I couldn't be what she percieved to be the perfect daughter and I would never live up to her expectations so I would just live my life my way and be happy.

Budlady
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:16 PM

my mom is just like her only my brothers counted in her life never me 

sherry132
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:18 PM

 No my mom is great. I am sorry if yours is not great to you.

Andl2ea
by on Apr. 20, 2010 at 2:40 PM

BUMP!

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