Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is This My Fault?? Relationship Advice

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:17 AM
  • 11 Replies

This may seem a bit trivial to some people but Im trying to work out if this is my fault or not.

My fiance and I live in separate homes as he works away during the week. Well last night he was at mine and I spent about 3 hours sorting his dreadlocks out and finished about midnight. He was meant to leave that night to go back to his so he was closer to work and didnt have to get up so early but because he wanted me to do his hair, he stayed. Now,  he snores REALLY BAD to the point that some nights me or him sleep in the spare room. This hasnt been a problem so far but last night his snoring was so bad that I shouted (not horribly) from the spare room to close his bedroom door so he doesnt wake up our 3yr old. He then said he was going back to his appartment (over an hour away). So at 3am he leaves.

Normally he texts me when he gets there to let me know he got there ok but I got no text this time. Then I text him about 3 times during the day today and he didnt text back at all. He eventually text me late this afternoon and he is in a foul mood cos he got no sleep and had to go to work the next day. BUT I didnt make him stay at mine, I asked him half way thru doing his hair whether he wanted me to finish it off after he got back from work so he could go back and get to bed and I certainly didnt make him leave at 3am but he is in such a bad mood with me and its really awkward. Im meant to be spending the day with him tomorrow cos he has a day off and I wont see him for another week but things are still strained between us. I dont know what to say to resolve things.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:17 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
anetrnlov
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:27 AM

You're fault?  No he could have left.

Why did you yell at him though?  You could have easily gotten up (since you were awake) and shut the door.  I am surprised you didn't wake up your 3 y.o.

People are crabby when  they don't get enough sleep....just don't let him stay on Sunday nights and you won't have to deal with it anymore.

Brandyh
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:34 AM

about his sleeping /snoring...tell him to get a sleep study done.  My friend had the same issue and turns out his body stopped breathing 587 times in one night...he now has the breathing machine and life is much better for all

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 24, 2010 at 11:40 AM

He is being a total baby and a jerk. 

My dh snores a lot and if I wake up, I move if he doesn't shut up.  Dh is a freight train, I mean, I know he has sleep apnea but he refuses to see a Dr.  Sometimes my dh will make excuses and get mad if I yell at him to turn over too many times.  Its his fault and not mine, he is overweight and has sleep apnea and refuses to go to the Dr. so don't blame me when I can't stand your snoring. 

my4kids274
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2010 at 11:43 AM

This is the first thing that came to my mind.  My dh has sleep apnea and when he had a sleep study done he stopped breathing numerous times while he was sleeping.  He now uses a C-Pap machine and he sleeps much better at night.

Quoting Brandyh:

about his sleeping /snoring...tell him to get a sleep study done.  My friend had the same issue and turns out his body stopped breathing 587 times in one night...he now has the breathing machine and life is much better for all


alexsmomaubrys2
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:46 AM

When are you getting married? This is something you need to sort out before that. Is he overweight? My DH didn't snore when we got married, put on some weight and started snoring really bad. He has since lost nearly 20lbs and 2 pant sizes and isn't snoring anymore.

I suggest he get a sleep study done.

As for who's at fault, both of you. You could have gotten up and shut his door and he could have gone home. 


"God is an invention of Man. So the nature of God is only a shallow mystery. The deep mystery is the nature of man."


Brandyh
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:46 AM

 glad that he went...my friends hubby just had a heart attack (age 40) docotr told him he wouldn't have had one if he had been on a sleeping machine...also said at the rate his body was dying and would have been dead in 5 years...I had no idea it was so serious an issue

Quoting my4kids274:

This is the first thing that came to my mind.  My dh has sleep apnea and when he had a sleep study done he stopped breathing numerous times while he was sleeping.  He now uses a C-Pap machine and he sleeps much better at night.

Quoting Brandyh:

about his sleeping /snoring...tell him to get a sleep study done.  My friend had the same issue and turns out his body stopped breathing 587 times in one night...he now has the breathing machine and life is much better for all

 

 

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 24, 2010 at 12:01 PM

Yep, its serious.  My dh is 48 and doesn't care.  We tape him and show him how his body shakes sometime which is a sign of sleep apnea.  We have done this numerous times and he doesn't seem to care.  He has snored pretty bad, I say for nearly 10 years now.  His Dad got diagnosed years ago with it too. 

Quoting Brandyh:

 glad that he went...my friends hubby just had a heart attack (age 40) docotr told him he wouldn't have had one if he had been on a sleeping machine...also said at the rate his body was dying and would have been dead in 5 years...I had no idea it was so serious an issue

Quoting my4kids274:

This is the first thing that came to my mind.  My dh has sleep apnea and when he had a sleep study done he stopped breathing numerous times while he was sleeping.  He now uses a C-Pap machine and he sleeps much better at night.

Quoting Brandyh:

about his sleeping /snoring...tell him to get a sleep study done.  My friend had the same issue and turns out his body stopped breathing 587 times in one night...he now has the breathing machine and life is much better for all

 

 


                


MOM'S WITH TEENS Group MOD








 




 




 




  

my4kids274
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2010 at 12:06 PM

Yes I was happy also.  This all started back when he started noticing that he was constantly tired and miserable and after a year of fighting going to the doctor he finally gave in and went.  Come to find out the doctor did other tests and he also had no traces of testosterone in his body.  At the age of 36 he was on hormone replacement meds and also started using a C-Pap machine.  He is now 43 years old...

Quoting Brandyh:

 glad that he went...my friends hubby just had a heart attack (age 40) docotr told him he wouldn't have had one if he had been on a sleeping machine...also said at the rate his body was dying and would have been dead in 5 years...I had no idea it was so serious an issue

Quoting my4kids274:

This is the first thing that came to my mind.  My dh has sleep apnea and when he had a sleep study done he stopped breathing numerous times while he was sleeping.  He now uses a C-Pap machine and he sleeps much better at night.

Quoting Brandyh:

about his sleeping /snoring...tell him to get a sleep study done.  My friend had the same issue and turns out his body stopped breathing 587 times in one night...he now has the breathing machine and life is much better for all

 

 


EireLass
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2010 at 12:24 PM

I live with a snorer. Didn't you know that lack of sleep is always the non-snorers fault? haha 

SP_Mama
by on May. 24, 2010 at 12:24 PM

Well, he could have went home but chose not to.  However, instead of yelling at him when he was sleeping, why not just get up and close the door yourself.  You were awake already.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)