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Is it still a "lie" if....

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:29 PM
  • 18 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Am I overracting for SO hiding the fact that he's smoking again?

Options:

You are overreacting...Get over it.

You have ever right to be upset

Other, please commet if you pick this.


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Total Votes: 28

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Ok long story short...my SO and I quit smoking together this past Christmas(ish) anyways..I have not had a cigarette once.  Quit cold turkey. (Go ME!)  He needed a cessation program, which is fine.  He used Chantix.  Regardless, we both have been smoke free since right about Chrsitmas time.  Today I was "putting his truck back together" for work and I found an empty pack of cigarettes.  So I came inside and asked him point blank if he was smoking again.  He hesitated and reluctanly said yes.  I got pissed.  Not so much because he's smoking again, yes it bothers me, I'm very disappointed in him, but you know he's a grown ass man who is legal to buy cigarettes, if he wants them, there's nothing I can do to stop him.  I got pissed because for the past 2 weeks he's been smoking only at times when he knows I wouldn't know about it.  He never once went outside to smoke when he was home or off, but the minute he would take off for work, he's chain smoking.  He sat here and told me that he was hiding it from me so I wouldn't start smoking again too.  If he's going to hide something as small as smoking from me, what else can/would/is he hiding?  I feel so lied to.  My trust is so broken in him and he thinks I'm overreacting.  Am I? 

by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jillbailey26
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:31 PM

As far as I'm concerned, he's been lying and I would be just as upset as you are.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19


alexsmomaubrys2
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:32 PM

I think that you two need to sit down and have a conversation about trust.


"God is an invention of Man. So the nature of God is only a shallow mystery. The deep mystery is the nature of man."


wilesmomma
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:34 PM
I would be upset too.
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HotMommaStout
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:34 PM

You have the right to be upset that he tried to hide the fact that he was smoking again from you. I don't really think you can get mad at him for smoking though because as you said...he's a grown A$$ man.

bananahammock1
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:35 PM

 You have a right to be upset..

Let me start by saying this.. Youve been a smoker. You know how hard it is. You are obviously stronger than him (and me) LOL. While you do have a right to be upset, try not to "nag" him but just be supportive of him trying to quit again. Im sure there are things that he is stronger than you with as well. He needs support. Good luck momma :)

Proud infantry Army wife and mommy to 3 Army brats!american flag ribbon

Lil_ol_me9306
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:37 PM

You two made a commitment together.  He broke it.  I'd be totally pissed, too.

Brooklynsmom119
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:38 PM


Quoting jillbailey26:

As far as I'm concerned, he's been lying and I would be just as upset as you are.


Brooklyn's Mommy


breastfeeding I'm a huge fan of whipping out the boob! Lets feed our children!

Breast are actually for breastfeeding. Society makes breast sexual which makes mothers uneasy about feeding their children the way God intended for them to be fed. Remember that the breasts function are to feed our babies, not for a mans amusement.


AMsMommy212
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:39 PM

 I say both.. my trust would not be completely shattered, because from experience (watching my parent try to quit) once one partner starts back up the other IS (usually) quick to follow. But he DID lie, he DID hide it, he IS wrong and you have every right to be upset.. but I wouldnt take it as far as feeling betrayed or like he might be hiding other bigger secrets.

JesusSaves07
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:39 PM

Yeah being lied to sucks but I see his point.....do you think you would start again because he did?

bananahammock1
by on May. 24, 2010 at 1:39 PM

 

Quoting Lil_ol_me9306:

You two made a commitment together.  He broke it.  I'd be totally pissed, too.

 LOL he didnt have an affair! He smoked cigarettes! Have you ever had an addiction?

Proud infantry Army wife and mommy to 3 Army brats!american flag ribbon

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