(Updated after 2 years) My 14 year old daughter is a cutter
Just found this out a few days ago, still trying to come to terms with it. Took her out of school today to take her to town and get her an appointment for counseling and to spend some time with her... she's been going through some stuff and I've noticed cuts, but she's athletic and roughhouses with her guy friends (tomboy all the way), so she told me they were from that... until I noticed they were only ever on one arm and one leg, the one she can get to with her right hand since she's right handed.
I finally confronted her just telling her "I know you did that to yourself, honey, you need to just be honest with me," and it all came out.
I'm literally sick with worry... I know that eventually she'll be OK, with help; she's a strong girl and a good girl and a smart girl, but until she is I'm terrified that she's going to continue to fool around with cutting and do some real damage - and we live 45 miles away from a real hospital.
I'm quitting my job so I can be home with her more. Gave my 2 weeks and told them I can do weekends until they find someone to replace me since my husband is home weekends, but after that I'm back to being a SAHM. Financially this sucks, but my boss understands that family comes first and I'm welcome back any time when this gets better.
I just don't understand why she's feeling so awful that she cuts... she's got a good life, so much better than what I had, and she's got great parents if I do say so myself - she assures me it's not about home, but didn't get too much into details except that a lot has to do with her friends and the stress they're putting her under. I know she's been dealing with some crap with them, but I didn't know it was getting to her that badly - and we used to be so close until I started working and now I'm just not around for her to talk to as much... so I'm grateful that that could be solved quickly at least.
I hope she opens up to this counselor... she was totally ok with going to one, it's not like I had to force her, so that's a plus.
I honestly never thought one of my babies would end up going through this. It does prove that it can happen to anyone, even kids in good homes with loving parents and no abuse. I don't envy teens these days - seems like what they go through is a thousand times worse than what my generation did, and that was HARD back then.
I'm trying to cope... trying to help her cope... it's hard to watch your child deal with this and feel so helpless. It's not like I can put a band-aid on this one or fix it with a kiss. And that's so frustrating.