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Help!!!!

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:04 PM
  • 10 Replies

My 9yo is enamoured with having a baby as a teen. She is planning this more than a wedding, which is what I was doing at that age. She is constantly talking about wanting to have a baby in high school. She is wanting to go to college and become a teacher. I have tried to tell her how difficult it will be to have a baby so young and go to school, much less college. She said that me and her father are here to help her, which is true, we would be there to help if God-forbid something should happen and she does become pregnant young. But she seems to want this as much as she wants the new Nintendo 3DS. She is her mothers child, when she makes her mind up about something she usually sticks to it. She is a brilliant girl. She is in gifted and advanced classes at her school. She knows ALOT, and is a quick witted girl. I have tried explaining to her how hard it is, and that it is best to wait. My nieces who are in middle school and high school, have friends who recently gave birth at 13, 15, and 16. She does not personally know any teen mother and I would love someone who has been there, or is going through it to help me out and tell her it isn't as wonderful as it seems on TV.... I don't know what else to tell her.

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
steveiguana
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:06 PM

have you tried leaving her in charge of a baby?

IrishDuckie
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:10 PM

Or making her take care of one of those fake babies.

Quoting steveiguana:

have you tried leaving her in charge of a baby?


FreeSpriT4eva
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:15 PM
Well my teen dd talked bout it when she was 8..I. was pregnant at that time..so she thought it was great all the attn I got..I sent her to her dad durin that time hopin it would help..nope..well I got again when she was 11..she was still fascinated so I made it her responsibility to watch her lil sister..I made her get up when I got up..feed her even when she was sleepy..instead of talking on the phone she had to stop her from crying..when her friends wanted to go outside she had either take her with her or stay an watch her..her sister had acid reflux,an asthma..so when I had to go to the ER in the middle of the nite she went wit me..this is how she spent her whole summer in 08..I didn't plan it but she needed to see babies are like dolls..now @ 13 she don't want a baby as a teen..
So m/b volunteer her to babysit the whole summer an even overnite..free of charge so she will realize that it takes more than just lookin at a baby to raise it..
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Elyce225
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:17 PM

Holy crap this is nuts. I have two boys, my daughter is only 18 months so I have no idea.

I was a teen mom and it was in the suck. Not for me but for my child. He HAD to be dropped off at daycare, we were so poor so had to eat from the dollar store most of the time. When I was in school I had to send him to people's houses he hated so they could watch him cause I had no one else.

Maybe you shouldn't be so supportive and letting her know that. Let her know that you won't be there to help her. Ask her how she is going to manage to go to school without a babysitter or how she is going to pay for daycare.

If this were my daughter I wouldn't tell her "no matter what we are here for you". I would tell her she better grow up fast because she is going to need to be a full time mother and not have someone at her beck and call. Also tell her to stop thinking so selfishly. I was so selfish to have a child at 17. He is the one that suffered. He is the one that had to go to day-cares all day and not be able to do outings etc cause I was in school.

Stop being so supporitive. I would tell her if she is making the choice (not accidentally) to have a baby she must leave my home and go on her own. Put some sense into that little girl.

alicia.bear
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:34 PM

I vote fake baby. The local high school or college should have some they may let you borrow.

Quoting IrishDuckie:

Or making her take care of one of those fake babies.

Quoting steveiguana:

have you tried leaving her in charge of a baby?



paramoreMommI
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:37 PM

 i think you should have a friend or relative with a baby come over or go to them and have her "watch" the baby (with supervision of course)  or fake baby and make her get up in the middle of the night...the whole nine yards.

or baby sit a puppy??

good luck!

lil_ferfer
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:39 PM
i wish i lived near You!!!
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tericared
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:49 PM

My 9 yr old and I have been having the talk since the age of 5, in bits and piece for her age, she is at the point now where she wants to go to school, get a career, and adopt........No husband, they are to much work, lol and no babies of her own,,She doesnt want to go through pregnancy and child birth....I hope she keeps thinking this way for a while...

summerbear
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:52 PM

I got pregnant last year, and gave her a baby sister. She is now 11mo and we found out a few weeks ago we are expecting another one. My 9yo gives her sister a bath and has even voluntered to room with her now that she is no longer breat feeding. She knows how hard it is to have a baby. But I think its the attention she enjoys...

FreeSpriT4eva
by on Feb. 10, 2011 at 4:07 AM
I did the baby doll project at school an it didn't begin to prepare me for what was to come..the doll didn't get sick,have frequent trips to the ER,have asthma,cry from pain..we had the dolls for a week back in the 9o's..I use place that doll under a pile of clothes lol..but couldn't do it wit a real child..after my 13 dd got tired of bein woken up to rush to the ER an missing out free time with her friends she was glad to go back to school this yr..
I was a teen mom..who babysat a few hrs durin the summer I could ppl back their children but couldn't give my own to anyone..


Quoting summerbear:

I got pregnant last year, and gave her a baby sister. She is now 11mo and we found out a few weeks ago we are expecting another one. My 9yo gives her sister a bath and has even voluntered to room with her now that she is no longer breat feeding. She knows how hard it is to have a baby. But I think its the attention she enjoys...


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