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Not sure what to tell her

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:41 PM
  • 16 Replies

My friend told me today that she thinks her husband is having an affair.  She said she has no proof, but it is just a strong gut feeling that she has. She feels silly thinking this, but can't get rid of the feeling. I told her I don't think her DH would ever cheat on her, but this "gut feeling" she has is driving her nuts. I have no clue what to tel her to make her feel better.

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BV88
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:43 PM
Tell her not to sweep her feelings under the rug and to keep her eyes open...but don't let it run her life. Good luck to her.
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atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:46 PM
Usually your gut feeling is right.
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Earthy_Mom
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:46 PM


Quoting BV88:

Tell her not to sweep her feelings under the rug and to keep her eyes open...but don't let it run her life. Good luck to her.

Ditto

starmoonmom
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:48 PM

I would tell her to talk to her husband & figure out where these gut feelings are coming from

Mommy2_two
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:57 PM

I told her to try talking to him, but she feels so silly b/c he is always at home or work (except for the occasional night out with co-workers) so when would he have the time for another woman. She even said they were intimate last night and it was amazing. She is afraid he will feel hurt if she asks him. I asked her if it could be that for the first time in 6 years he has a female co worker on his shift? She said No. I will give her the advice you guys mentioned. I just want to help her get this thought out of her head...if it is not true, of course.

TAG2.0
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:00 PM

Go with her gut, if shes feeling it, she needs to find out why. Whats he been doing?

starmoonmom
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:03 PM


Quoting Mommy2_two:

I told her to try talking to him, but she feels so silly b/c he is always at home or work (except for the occasional night out with co-workers) so when would he have the time for another woman. She even said they were intimate last night and it was amazing. She is afraid he will feel hurt if she asks him. I asked her if it could be that for the first time in 6 years he has a female co worker on his shift? She said No. I will give her the advice you guys mentioned. I just want to help her get this thought out of her head...if it is not true, of course.

So perhaps she has some self esteem issues or past history of cheaters? If he is not cheating, maybe she should consider counseling. I can't imagine that such doubt in a relationship can be happy or fulfilling

Mommy2_two
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:13 PM

Nothing. That is why she feels silly to have these feelings.

Quoting TAG2.0:

Go with her gut, if shes feeling it, she needs to find out why. Whats he been doing?


lyranightshade
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:15 PM

Simple. Tell her to sit down with her DH and have an open, honest talk. Tell her that she needs to explain to her DH she's having these feelings and WHAT makes her feel like he's stepping out on her. There's got to be SOMETHING that's triggering that gut feeling... a look, a different tone in his voice, some sort of new and unexplained behavior or something as simple as trying out different moves in bed... or no moves in bed. Chances are, an open talk will either clear everything up and put her mind at ease, or she'll hear that he's cheating on her (or cheated) and she can go on from there. Beats the heck out of not knowing.

lyranightshade
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:17 PM

She might feel silly bringing it up, but wouldn't she rather feel silly than paranoid?

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