Needy child asking for expensive gifts

[steveiguana]

I borrowed this from another board just thought the topic was intresting and something I have thought about myself. When you see these type of requests what do you think?

Ok, my church sets up an angel tree each year. Hanging from the tree are angel cutouts with the description of a needy child and what he or she needs. An example would be "13 yr old girl, winter clothes, size 5" or "10 yr old boy, size 7 winter boots" or "Dora the Explorer toys for 4 yr old girl." Well, I always take one and get a Christmas gift for a child.

This year, I was dismayed to see one "needy" child asking for an iPod Nano. What? Another kid asked for xbox games. Well, he must have an xbox and the tv on which to play them! Several weeks later, I checked back and those requests are still hanging on the tree. I assume my fellow parishoners are as put off by these greedy requests as I am. I would never buy such a thing when I cannot even afford it for myself. I'll buy a kid some clothes or give a small child some toys. However, I think that asking for high-end gadgets is the height of nerve. And, it really makes me question just how "needy" this child is.

Your thoughts?

 

[acdcfanandmom]

I feel a little ashamed. Like so many have said, kids don't know they aren't supposed to wish for expensive things, whether they are poor or rich. And although I don't have a lot of money I think I am going to go pick another name off the tree and hopefully make a kids Christmas a little brighter. Guess I will take my chances and remember Christmas is a time of giving and magic for kids. Merry Christmas everyone. Stop being so cynical and go help a kid!

[Aspirel]

 A lot of people take advantage of these programs. Even when I was out of work and on unemployment I managed to buy my kids gifts that year.I simply bought a couple of gifts every check the few months before Christmas. People know Christmas is coming,every year..it's not a surprise..why wait to the last minute? I could have easily signed up for one of those programs,but why should I if I can buy my kids gifts myself?

As far ask a kid asking for an ipod or whatever,kids are kids.My seven year old wants a lego collectors something or other kit that cost 359 dollars...like thats ever gonna happen lol. But hey he is seven and he can dream.:) I just explain to him that Santa has lots of boys and girls to buy for,so he needs to keep his list reasonable.(every day he wants something new for Christmas.:/ )I told him today the north pole was closed now and they stopped taking orders.:p

[Mom23kiddos]

Needy or not they have wants just like your child does. Who are you say they are not needy? A child generally speaking doesn't look at cost. Needy children will look at cost more and maybe that is why they ask for something more expensive..they know that there parents can not afford to get that pricey item.

[pizzawoman]

Quoting RobogeishaMom:

I agree it would serve those children right if they got nothing for Christmas

I couldn't agree more.   You don't NEED gadgets to survive.  Kids need coats, clothes, shoes, and maybe a GC for a haircut.

[fun2bmomof4]

You can not judge a child for what they request for christmas.  I have been a state paid home daycare provider for over 15 years to low income families.  I have also provided care to children of parents who are very well off.  The wants of children from both income groups is the same.   Kids don't know the cost of items.   

About 6 years ago,I provided care for a family of 3 boys (ages 9,7,2)who were placed into the care of their aunt through the foster care system.  Their older sister placed somewhere else.  The aunt was extremely poor and doing all she could to provide a roof and food for these boys.  I asked them what they wanted for christmas they had  lists that ranged from gloves to a video game system.    I did not tell them their wants were selfish or greedy; they had no idea what the items cost.  The 9 year old did have some idea the game system was expensive because he told me that he had been saving  for a long long time and had $20 to buy one.  Not having any idea that the money he had wasn't even close to the price of the system.     I emailed my family and asked if they would like to help me provide these kids a good christmas,while I couldn't afford to do it alone, if we all pitched in we couldn't give them everything on their list, but they would have a good christmas.  I didn't expect the outcome of my email to be what it was.  My family forwarded my email to coworkers. My sister who owned a small business mentioned what we were doing to a customer, who in turn spread the word.    When it was all said and done;  each kid got everything on their list (including the sister), new clothes, new  shoes, enough food (even meat) to last a couple monthes.   The family was extremely grateful.  The aunt took pictures of the boys opening the gifts,  the kids all wrote wonderful heartfelt letters of thanks,  and the 9 yr old offered to give the person who bought the game system his $20.    I copied the pictures and letters and sent them out to all the wonderful people who helped this family.     The strangers who helped this family didn't judge these boys harshly because they dared to dream of things that were beyond their financial means.  

On a personal note:   My husband had a pretty good job and we smartly managed our money so that we have a nice house and car.  We shopped wisely so we could afford to buy our 4 kids game systems, ipods, name brand clothes, etc.    He got layed off and when he found work making, he is making 1/4 of what he made before.  We have struggled to hold on to our house and car and from outward appearances we are still doing well financially, when we are barely hanging on.   Our youngest who is 6 doesn't  have the concept of how much stuff really cost or where we are financially.  So he doesn't know that asking for  expensive games for our existing game system is being greedy.    And by trading in old games and buying used games, his christmas morning will be he hopes it to be. 

[pixie858]

I think that only the childs name and age;should be on the cards.That works very well.If they complain about their gift then don't put them on the tree anymore.

[momma2rhylee]

When my mom but me on there as a kid I always asked for needs like coat, gloves, boots and small toys like crayons etc.

While I don't put my kids on their and struggle I have a nice big screen that was given to me. My grandparents didn't like the color said it looked faded sothey bought a new one and gave away this oone. My couches are tore up though.

[KEDLAD]

Has anyone stopped to think that maybe these kids are from a family who was use to having things and they had nice furniture etc, already but then the parents lost their job or something happened that the parents can't afford to buy the kids anything this xmas? The kids, of course the younger ones especially, don't know, or may not know or realize the cost of the things they are asking for. Of course an ipod is not a necessity, but to a child who is asked what they would like, most will not ask for clothes, they will ask for what they truly would love to have...or what is popular or all the other kids are asking for and/or getting. Do you really have to only get what was written on the paper? If you do, then of course nobody (unless they are very rich and very generous) will be buying that for that child and unfortunately that child may not get anything. However, if you really do not have to buy what is written on that paper, as in it's a very expensive item such as an ipod, then perhaps you can buy something else more affordable? It's better than that child getting nothing. Also another thing to think about is that maybe it's a parent being greedy.....but even though it's not something on the paper, the child may be happy to get some kind of toy rather than nothing because their parent used bad judgement and wrote something on the paper that is not reasonable. To the person who mentioned about a child wanting video games..........Who's to say that they didn't have a tv that they've had fora  long time..........and maybe a generous family member gave the child a video game system or maybe they won the game system and now they need games for it and the parents can't afford them. I'm just saying, think of all the possibilities before jumping to conclusions because you never know.

[momma2rhylee]

Oh then I had a friend put her kids on the tree and when they got them she wasn't greatful at all said it looked cheap. She can't afford food but had to buy a car

[Momniscient]

I'm disgusted by this thread.