How do I kick them out without loosing my brother?

[tarakay0417]

 A little back story. My brother is a truck driver and he is in the National Guard. Him and my SIL lost their house due to the landlord selling the property. My brother was fixing to be deployed to Iraq so my husband let them move in with him (this was before we started dating.) They were only suppose to be here for the year my brother was in Iraq. He came home and hurt his back really bad at PT, so he couldn't work either job for awhile. My DS and I needed a place to stay and we moved in too and then DH and I fell in love and got married. We loaned my brother and SIL money to pay their bills, feed their dogs and horses, and for things they needed. The still owe us $3000 from that. My SIL is an irresoponsible pet owner, she lets her dogs breed out of control. We have told her that she can't keep them all and that they need to be fixed. Her dogs are getting aggressive, most are in kennels outside. They keep getting out and have attacked our neighbors dog (this happened again today.) My brother's back is healed and has been working again for the past 2 years. My SIL refuses to pay us back because "they don't have the money" but yet she bought a ticket and flew to Germany 2 weeks ago. From Nashville, Tn to Germany is about $1500 for one way, I know this because I looked it up. Not to mention my SIL disrespects me in my house all the time. She cusses me and insults me all the time. I have brought this to my brothers attention and he doesn't do anything about it. He is a truck driver and only comes home 1 weekend a month for drill with the National Guard. I am sick of this shit. How do I kick them out without loosing my brother? Its my SIL that causes most of the problems. Please help!!! Thanks!!! Oh and my SIL's reasoning for treating me so badly is because she raised me and she can and the fact that my DH was her friend first.

[GertieK]

I know you love your brother, but this will only get worse.  I would let him know how close you are to the edge.  Make it very clear how miserable you are, and how badly you are being treated.  If he takes care of the situation, great.  If not, you may just have to ask them to leave.  She has things twisted around.  This is now YOUR home.  Her reasoning for treating you badly is badly skewed.  Give him a heads up, and enough time to deal with it, and then do what you have to do.

[yourpassion]

your SIL needs a reality check.  if it were me, and this is just me, i would give them a month to get their things and move.  forget about the money they owe you, consider it a gift.  i'd also make them get rid of the dogs.  if they can't take care of them, then they shouldn't have them.  a call to animal control might be needed.  i know your brother isn't there for the most part, but she's still his wife and  he doesn't seem to be doing anything to help the situation.  it's your and your dh's house.  if you and your dh aren't respected, along with the property, they need to move.  good luck!!!!  it's hard when it's family, but you can compromise your family for someone else's.

[fraujones]

 Wow, SIL definitely needs to go. Your brother may get mad at you, but hopefully he'll get over it. You can't stay sane living under those conditions. I can't think of a nice way to kick them out. The best you can do is give them a little notice. Good luck!

[Marimaru]

It was only supposed to be a year.  Your husband needs to tell them it's time to move on.  I say he needs to tell them because he originally set up the arrangements. 

Your brother may get mad, but there's nothing you can do about how he reacts to being kicked out.  You can only protect yourself and your family from future abuse.