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would you stop being someones friend if their kids were mean to you?

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:05 AM
  • 27 Replies

I have a friend I spend allllooottt of time with who has 2 kids. The friend is awesome, my favorite person on earth. But my friends children are little devils! My friend can not control the children and it makes me bonkers. When the kids arent around things are great but thats just unrealistic. What would you do? The kids are disrespectful to me and other adults. They are an 11 year old girl and a 13 year old boy.

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LyTe684
by Tasha on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:10 AM
2 moms liked this
Depends. Have you ever said anything to them yourself. I would.
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brunett34
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:58 PM

I would also say something to the kids. Then I would say something to your friend about her children in a stern but heartfelt way.

lilydoyle
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:01 PM
i agree with ap. talk to the kids, then talk to your friend.
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jerzeetomato
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 6:58 PM

Your friend needs to get a grip on her kids before its too late.  The next time they are rude to you, put them in your place and let them and your friend know you won't tolerate it anymore.  The more they get away with it, the worse it will become.

GertieK
by Silver Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:26 AM

She would probably not want to be friends with me any more, because if after trying to get her to get a handle on things, and nothing changed, I would handle it myself.  Once I was done, she would probably not want to hang out any more, and her kids certainly wouldn't.  When my kids were young, and I had other moms that I spent a lot of time with, we all took care of each other's kids.  If a kid stepped over the line, they knew that even if their own mom didn't see or know, that the mom who did would get them back into place.  We presented a united front, and the kids got the message.  Maybe it is because I am from the south, but mouthing off to or being rude to an adult was an absolute no-no.  No one was "mean" to the kids, but the rule were put into place, each kid was clear on what they were, and what the consequences were for breaking them,.  There was no flip-flopping.  Everyone was expected to follow, and everyone got the same consequences.I am still very close to those moms, and their kids, as are my kids.  Now they hang out with each other, and their kids play together, same rules apply.

PhyllisGB
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:40 AM

sigh... this happened to us before we had our DD.  It's really fun with the in-laws NOT.

I never figured this out; we lived far from family for so long.  Now most of the kids are grown up and things are better.  Now the in-laws don't give me parenting advice as much.  (we moved back to our home state)

Although this past weekend, DH went to deer lease with his younger brother; my 14-yr-old niece & her friend were off somewhere way too long and it took 30 minutes to find them -- DH actually yelled at her!  I wasn't there but am surprised (and glad BIL yelled at her too).....

I agree with the others -- talk to the kids first & go from there.

TAG2.0
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:57 AM

No, my friends has 3 kids and 2 of them get on my last nerve. The youngest is 7 and talks about growing up to be like his incarcerated drug dealer dad. The 14 year old pees the bed, lies every chance she gets and throws fits. The only sane one is the 10 year old, but he doesnt have the same father the other 2 do which might explain his behavior and personality.  

fraujones
by Mommytron on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:02 AM

I'd limit my time with her to things like "moms' night out." That sucks. 

Elyce225
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:13 AM

I'd tell her exactly how I felt.  If she continued to let her kids be "devils" then I wouldn't hang out with her anymore.  Me and my friends are honest with each other, and hey, today is national honesty day...

yourpassion
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:37 AM

this is what i did with one of my good friends.  my kids would look at her daughter in what seem to be "awe" at some of the things she did.

Quoting fraujones:

I'd limit my time with her to things like "moms' night out." That sucks. 


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