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legal questions

Posted by on May. 21, 2012 at 7:10 PM
  • 17 Replies
Ok, my friend doesnt get along with her MIL. Her MIL put a bunch of her stuff in my friend`s apartment. My friend has been telling her to get it out. She wont. It has been well over 30 days.
They got into an argument and MIL hit my friend. My friend hit back. She called the cops. They arrested her not MIL.
Now MIL wont let my friend get her kids things from MILs apartment. She wants to toss MILs stuff out. She`s scared. Cops wont escort her to get her stuff, and said "im not a lawyer" when she asked about tossing the MILs stuff.
DH wants to cut mom out of his life for good.
Can she toss it? Why charge the person acting in self defense and not the aggressor?



I want to add about the stuff. My friend was staying with MIL, and got her own apartment. MIL moved her (mils) stuff ino my friends apt and put so much my friend doesnt even have room to put furniture. She cant even use her own apt bc of it so she has still been staying with mil. She told mil repeatedly to get it out.
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by on May. 21, 2012 at 7:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GOBryan
by on May. 21, 2012 at 7:52 PM

She'll have to check the abandonment rules in her state. I'd send her a certified letter giving her 30 days to get her things or it will be considered abandoned. 

If MIL would have hit her and she would not have struck back and had called police, then MIL would be in jail. It all depends on extent of injuries, etc. 

kitty8199
by Nicole on May. 21, 2012 at 8:02 PM
Its 30 days and shes already told her to get it. It would be civil, though right? MIL wouldnt sue.
She did cause worse injuries to MIL. BUT MIL threatened her in texts prior to this. So, with the threats do you think the courts will say self defense?
She admits she beat her ass, but didnt throw the first punch. It was still self defense.


Quoting GOBryan:

She'll have to check the abandonment rules in her state. I'd send her a certified letter giving her 30 days to get her things or it will be considered abandoned. 

If MIL would have hit her and she would not have struck back and had called police, then MIL would be in jail. It all depends on extent of injuries, etc. 

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GOBryan
by on May. 21, 2012 at 8:08 PM

Where were they when the fight broke out. If it was MIL's property then that is why she was also arrested. MIL had a right to protect herself in her own property. The texts can show that they have an on going conflict but it may not show self-defense. It really depends how it occurred and if your friend could have walked away. 

As far as the property, a written warning can protect your friend in the even of a lawsuit, should MIL not pick up her stuff and the property be disposed of by your friend. 

Quoting kitty8199:

Its 30 days and shes already told her to get it. It would be civil, though right? MIL wouldnt sue.
She did cause worse injuries to MIL. BUT MIL threatened her in texts prior to this. So, with the threats do you think the courts will say self defense?
She admits she beat her ass, but didnt throw the first punch. It was still self defense.


Quoting GOBryan:

She'll have to check the abandonment rules in her state. I'd send her a certified letter giving her 30 days to get her things or it will be considered abandoned. 

If MIL would have hit her and she would not have struck back and had called police, then MIL would be in jail. It all depends on extent of injuries, etc. 


2metalbabies
by Jene on May. 21, 2012 at 8:58 PM
Most states have a 30 day abandonment law that goes into effect only after a written warning sent and dated. After the 30 days, the stuff needs to be put into storage and can only be sold after the value of the property is less than the amount less than the amount of money that has been spent on the rental of the storage unit. That can be a bit tricky, especially if someone claims something to be a priceless heirloom. On the plus side, if your friend places the things in a storage unit, she can hold them until the MIL pays her for the value of the storage unit. She just needs to make sure she either makes an itemized list of what is in the unit or takes pictures of everything as she places it in the unit.
Legally, that is the best thing to do, and will keep your friend out of court, and should she go to court, all of her bases will be covered.
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kitty8199
by Nicole on May. 21, 2012 at 9:23 PM
Shes not going to pay for a storage unit but mil doesnt have permission to have it there and isnt paying her to store it.


Quoting 2metalbabies:

Most states have a 30 day abandonment law that goes into effect only after a written warning sent and dated. After the 30 days, the stuff needs to be put into storage and can only be sold after the value of the property is less than the amount less than the amount of money that has been spent on the rental of the storage unit. That can be a bit tricky, especially if someone claims something to be a priceless heirloom. On the plus side, if your friend places the things in a storage unit, she can hold them until the MIL pays her for the value of the storage unit. She just needs to make sure she either makes an itemized list of what is in the unit or takes pictures of everything as she places it in the unit.

Legally, that is the best thing to do, and will keep your friend out of court, and should she go to court, all of her bases will be covered.
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kitty8199
by Nicole on May. 21, 2012 at 9:28 PM
I think in mils apt. They live in same complex.
She couldnt have walked away, mil had her by her hair. She spit on her, slapped her, choked her, then grabbed he hair. Thats when she "beat the shit out of her".

She`s not worried about the mil suing. She was just going to put it on the porch, not toss it.

MIL just violated the no contact order anyway, so shes calling the cops.


Quoting GOBryan:

Where were they when the fight broke out. If it was MIL's property then that is why she was also arrested. MIL had a right to protect herself in her own property. The texts can show that they have an on going conflict but it may not show self-defense. It really depends how it occurred and if your friend could have walked away. 

As far as the property, a written warning can protect your friend in the even of a lawsuit, should MIL not pick up her stuff and the property be disposed of by your friend. 

Quoting kitty8199:

Its 30 days and shes already told her to get it. It would be civil, though right? MIL wouldnt sue.

She did cause worse injuries to MIL. BUT MIL threatened her in texts prior to this. So, with the threats do you think the courts will say self defense?

She admits she beat her ass, but didnt throw the first punch. It was still self defense.





Quoting GOBryan:

She'll have to check the abandonment rules in her state. I'd send her a certified letter giving her 30 days to get her things or it will be considered abandoned. 

If MIL would have hit her and she would not have struck back and had called police, then MIL would be in jail. It all depends on extent of injuries, etc. 


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2metalbabies
by Jene on May. 21, 2012 at 10:41 PM
Permission or not, it is still the MIal's property and if your friend disposes of it without going through the proper legal channels you friend can be held legally and civilly responsible for the items. It's pretty easy for her MIL to say that your friend robbed her, especially since she already has an assault charge against her.
Tell your friend to get in touch with her county attorney and find out what her best course of action should be. In her case it would better to be safe than sorry, especially since it seems as if the MIL has it in for her.


Quoting kitty8199:

Shes not going to pay for a storage unit but mil doesnt have permission to have it there and isnt paying her to store it.





Quoting 2metalbabies:

Most states have a 30 day abandonment law that goes into effect only after a written warning sent and dated. After the 30 days, the stuff needs to be put into storage and can only be sold after the value of the property is less than the amount less than the amount of money that has been spent on the rental of the storage unit. That can be a bit tricky, especially if someone claims something to be a priceless heirloom. On the plus side, if your friend places the things in a storage unit, she can hold them until the MIL pays her for the value of the storage unit. She just needs to make sure she either makes an itemized list of what is in the unit or takes pictures of everything as she places it in the unit.


Legally, that is the best thing to do, and will keep your friend out of court, and should she go to court, all of her bases will be covered.

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2metalbabies
by Jene on May. 21, 2012 at 10:45 PM
She can't just put it on the porch without first having sent a letter of abandoned property. Even landlords have evicted tenants can't put the property on the curb until 30 days after the sheriff has served the official notice.


Quoting kitty8199:

I think in mils apt. They live in same complex.

She couldnt have walked away, mil had her by her hair. She spit on her, slapped her, choked her, then grabbed he hair. Thats when she "beat the shit out of her".



She`s not worried about the mil suing. She was just going to put it on the porch, not toss it.



MIL just violated the no contact order anyway, so shes calling the cops.





Quoting GOBryan:

Where were they when the fight broke out. If it was MIL's property then that is why she was also arrested. MIL had a right to protect herself in her own property. The texts can show that they have an on going conflict but it may not show self-defense. It really depends how it occurred and if your friend could have walked away. 

As far as the property, a written warning can protect your friend in the even of a lawsuit, should MIL not pick up her stuff and the property be disposed of by your friend. 

Quoting kitty8199:

Its 30 days and shes already told her to get it. It would be civil, though right? MIL wouldnt sue.


She did cause worse injuries to MIL. BUT MIL threatened her in texts prior to this. So, with the threats do you think the courts will say self defense?


She admits she beat her ass, but didnt throw the first punch. It was still self defense.








Quoting GOBryan:

She'll have to check the abandonment rules in her state. I'd send her a certified letter giving her 30 days to get her things or it will be considered abandoned. 

If MIL would have hit her and she would not have struck back and had called police, then MIL would be in jail. It all depends on extent of injuries, etc. 



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kimber2465
by Bronze Member on May. 21, 2012 at 10:49 PM

how old is the mother in law?  depending on her age  would be a factor in who got arrested and why doesn't the dh tell his mom to come get her stuff - or better yet take it her

GOBryan
by on May. 22, 2012 at 7:09 AM

The friend got arrested because in the eyes of police, the assault happened on MIL's property so friend sought the MIL for conflict and since MIL was beaten worse, that was enough for friend to be arrested. That's how police likely see it. 

At this point, there's probably a restraining order so no contact is allowed by friend. Honestly, son should just take the stuff to his mother's and if she won't take it, leave it on her doorstep, providing he knows she's home. 

Quoting kimber2465:

how old is the mother in law?  depending on her age  would be a factor in who got arrested and why doesn't the dh tell his mom to come get her stuff - or better yet take it her


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