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Adoption

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:01 AM
  • 10 Replies
1 mom liked this

So, I am adopted and I really want to find my birth mother but it is proving to be impossible...does anyone know how I can find her without spending a TON of money?

Parker's Mommybutterfly

by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
wooly
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:57 AM

 There are places out there that will look for you.  i had a GF signed up for one.  it didn't cost me anything and i got a monthly report about any progress they had made. You need some info to start, like where you were born, DOB , stuff like that. Do your parents know anything about your biological mother?  Sometimes they know more than they want to tell.

OK, I just did a google search and I typed in( adoption search looking for birth mother), a lot of different places came up, you might want to try it.

KADE1985
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 2:16 AM

I'm on every adoption registry I can find online. The only thing I know about her is that she was 21 when she had me, and from Mississippi...so you remember what site you signed your friend up?

adopteeme
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 3:51 AM
Were you born and adopted in Mississippi??

I found the following info for you. It appears that Mississippi has an intermediary system. (they will open all your records to an agent of the (court/state/or your agency?) and they will use the info to search and make contact. I do not see in skimming the info if there are restrictions (as in year born) who may use this method. I would call and ASK if you qualify

Mississippi Department of Human Services
Division of Family & Children's Services
1-800-345-6347 | (601) 359-4999
ASK how you may obtain non identifying info:

MISSISSIPPI CODE OF 1972
As Amended

SEC. 93-17-207. Release of nonidentifying information; persons eligible to receive; fee.

(1) The bureau or the agency shall release the nonidentifying information maintained as provided in Section 93-17-205 for a reasonable fee, including the actual cost of reproduction, to any of the following persons upon request made with sufficient proof of identity:
(a) An adoptee eighteen (18) years of age or older;
(b) An adoptive parent;
(c) The guardian or legal custodian of an adoptee; or
(d) The offspring or blood sibling of an adoptee if the requester is eighteen (18) years of age or older.
(2) Information released pursuant to subsection (1) of this section shall not include the name and address of the birth parent, the identity of any provider of health care to the adoptee or to the birth parent and any other information which might reasonably lead to the discovery of the identity of either birth parent.

adopteeme
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 3:55 AM
And IMHO, it's extremely beneficial to join an adoption search and support group in the area. MOST people with help find. Network!
I'll edit this post with more info for you. Brb

Edit
At the very bottom of this page highlighted in green, there are search support groups

http://www.childwelfare.com/Mississippi%20Adoption%20Directory.htm

adopteeme
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 4:16 AM
More...

http://www.plumsite.com/shea/series.html
Great article on 'how to' search

http://69.36.175.127/the-intermediary-system-is-not-the-solution/
Article FYI about confidential intermediary systems and how they DO NOT always work. I used one myself and got Nothing- but- a cancelled check. Search on your own First!

And this- just outrageous!!!!!! In Mississippi, if they find one parent- they have a >}%*€ law that they must NOT disclose the identity of the other parent to 'you'.
http://www.mscode.com/free/statutes/93/017/0223.htm


the3Rs
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 9:33 AM

Years ago I registered on a site (I believe it was free but don't remember the site).  Then, I just forgot about it until a few years later I received a letter from my birth mom.  She said she didn't feel it was her right to look for me, but if she discovered I was looking for her, she'd come forward.  She saw my stats on that site, signed herself up, and within a couple of days a coordinator called her saying they had a match.  Don't know if it cost her anything, but was free for me.

onethentwins
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 7:20 PM


Quoting adopteeme:


And this- just outrageous!!!!!! In Mississippi, if they find one parent- they have a >}%*€ law that they must NOT disclose the identity of the other parent to 'you'.
http://www.mscode.com/free/statutes/93/017/0223.htm



Absulte BS! But, it doesn't seem to stop the one parent from contacting the other parent and giving the adoptees contact info, with is good but backassward.

onethentwins
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 7:22 PM

Adopteeme has given you great advice, I know she managed to find her birth family. I have an Adoption Reunion which has a resident "search angel". She has had success reunited CM moms with their birth family: http://www.cafemom.com/group/14715/forums/read/9480523/Search_Angel

Best of luck!

adopteeme
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 5:48 AM
Quoting onethentwins:




It wouldn't surprise me at all if contact was outlawed between any of the parties until THEY said so.
I can't stand this as compromise to those susposed people out there that don't want to be found. I am living proof that 1. The 3rd party message got scrambled by the time it was delivered back to me. 2. People change their minds. There was no legit reason to bar me from leaving MY identity and contact info WITH my Mother.. 3. Nothing bad or criminal happened to either mom or me when we began talking face to face without court supervision. Gasp- we both conducted ourself in a lawful and respectful way. Guess what Judge so-and-so....We did it on our own!! We navigated a relationship with each other WITHOUT court and social worker direction.

:::sticks the bird up::: at the law that automatically puts us up to acting criminaly or not being mature enough to even speak to our family.
erikadi
by Member on Jun. 3, 2012 at 5:46 PM

I don't know what websites you have tried. I have seen some online. Do you have more information and you want to contact her or do you not have any information at all? Good luck in your search. I hope your adoptive parents are supportive.

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