19 year old daughter has been brainwashed by boyfriends family
There's no support group for this, there's no law to stop this. We're at a complete loss as to what to do and devestated. This boy and his parents have been in our lives for a couple years now. We didn't allow her to see him because of his criminal record and violent temper. His parents were constantly being evicted and they've moved quite often. Of course she snuck around behind our back to see him. Come to find out that she completely blew off her first year of college to see him, as well as gotten fired from a job for always calling in so she could see this boy.
I've tried talking to his mother, but she's worse than this boy is...and was DETERMINED to "get her" for her son. They are the kind of people who leech off anything and everyone they can, but my daughter refused to see it.
In the last few years she withdrew from friends and family, kept herself in her room and became very depressed, lost her confidence and refused to even TRY at anything offered her.
Recently it came to a head in our family. Her failing school was just the straw that broke the camels back, the constant fighting, sneaking around behind our backs, attitude has taken not only a toll on our health bug financially a burden on us as well. We told her she had to make a choice, the military, a full-time job until her probation for college was over or move out. She moved out...with the boyfriend and his family. Now she has cut off all communication with us. We've also come to find out that she has been lying to his family, telling them that we kept her prisoner and have been abusive. This is NOT true, and by doing this she risks our son who is younger and still in the home.
We are on a rollercoaster of emotions, I love my daughter and want her home. These people are dangerous and we have seen signs of brainwashing. The boyfriend also shows every sign of being abusive, mentally and physically. His mother is beyond sick...actually calling my daughter at work one day, telling her that her son was in the hospital with a "broken heart" because he couldn't be with her. My daughter came home and told me that she needed to move in with him in order to help him. We managed to talk her out of it then...but we couldn't fight it this time. My fear is that this woman will talk her in to getting pregnant (for the welfare and food stamps) then she will really be stuck with these monsters. And if she wanted to escape there's no way this woman would let a baby go. And given all that she has lied about to them about us, I don't think there would be much we could do about it.
I know she's 19, and there's nothing we can legally do. I really just needed to vent, and there isn't a support group out there for parents in our situation. This is like a death. Just a couple years ago my daughter was an honor student, incredibly funny, honest and very close with us and her friends. She's become this low-class, dirty, foul-mouthed, insecure and negative person. We just don't know what to do :'(
Unfortunately, she is an adult and makes her own decisions. While I don't agree with what she's doing/done, there isn't much you can do but be there for her when she needs you and I say when because she will need you. Wish I could give you something you could use or say to her to get her back.......sorry
Honestlyy, what can you do at this point? She is an adult. She makes her own decisions. I don't know what to tell you. I really don't. I think just let her know that you are there, you love her, and support her, and then let her go. She is going to have to sink or swim on her own. The more you push the more she will push back.
Quoting gypsy_rose:be there to help her EMOTIONALY. If she wants money or other ITEMS say no. She needs to hit rock bottom before she realizes how bad it is. Let her know your there when she is ready to leave him. Listen to any vents or problems. Hint that she can come home at any time so long as he is no longer in her life.
I agree with this.
I'm so sorry this happened to your family. We to are going through the same devastation its been about two weeks of hell. Our daughter even put us in jail for 28 hours and I the same worried about my son. These people are radicalist. My daughter is pregnant and 17 and they have really brainwashed her she fear nothing. I'm so scared we are in mourning. She started to cut school to see him and her personalitly really changed over 7 months. The boys mother is really sick beyond. We are in courts now and fighting because they called acs on us we never ever hit our daughter. Her boyfriend tried to run over me and my son on May 6, 2013 and did strike us with the car I go for physical therapy 3 days a week my daughter witnessed this with her own eyes a few hours later she lied and we landed in jail the system is corrupt. I was on line looking for support to come across your post. I hope and pray that your daughter comes around I know exactly how you feel. Our world is not the same. I don't know how to move on when I try to speak to her she says she found peace with this people. We are greek orothodox and my daughter started hating church any icons and started dressing funny she was such a high spirited girl. Now she is covered up and hates us I don't know what to do anymore. I would like to know what were the signs your daugther showed?
Wow, I don't know, but the one thing I would definitely do is try to get her on that birth control that's implanted in her inner arm, until she wises up pregnancy is a real concern. I would even bribe her if I were you! Chances are that this relationship will run it's course mama, and you'll get your girl back, but if she has a baby with him she's so stuck with him in her life. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. HUGS!
all i can say is pray. Im sorry this has happened. i myself got caught up with a boy and his family at one point, it took a while but i broke ties with them all.
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on Jun. 19, 2012 at 4:27 AM