Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Cafe The Cafe

Making friends

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 6:58 AM
  • 11 Replies

Does anybody seem to have a problem trying to make friends with other women. I think my biggest problem is that if there is a bully in the group I am the first one to stand up for everybody. I don't mean to, but I just can't help it. It makes me mad to see people get pushed around because they want to be a part of these women. :( 

by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 6:58 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
CreziaMommyTo2
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 7:11 AM
1 mom liked this

that could be yourn problem right there...

most ADULT women want to fend and make decisions for themselves.  i am a very outspoken person, yes i have offended plenty of ppl i have met, but i have also met some of my dearest friends that way.

i learned to speak for myself, and not for anyone else... if they need help they know i would back them up.

i belonged to 2 mom play groups. in total maybe 60 moms.  out of the 60 i am close with 4-5 of them.

this was 5 years ago with my oldest.  

LyTe684
by Tasha on Aug. 19, 2012 at 7:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I do. Because I don't let people run my life for me. Not do I let then put me down in order to boost their own who. And gone are the days where I let people use me. If you ask my opinion, I'll give it to you. Most people don't want that. Oh and I don't tolerate hate of any kind...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Kaylina
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 5:25 PM

I can definitely relate to the urge to say something and call people out when they are behaving in a way that we feel is inappropriate or being a bully. But as an adult, we can learn to respect other adults and what they choose for themselves and we don't have to like how something is being done, but we can show respect to one another by asking the person in private if they would like help to deal with the bully or if there's some way you can help to empower them besides biting your lip eventhough you really wanna just let your defensive side take over.

As parents we want to protect things, it's what we are naturally inclined to do... but sometimes being a good parent and friend means knowing when to choose our battles... instead of going defensive for someone else, whether they want it or not... perhaps empowering the child (age appropriate of course) or adult to stand up for their own self and/or simply respecting their right to choose their choices for handling the situations around them, and let them learn and grow... sometimes people want to grow in a direction that feels more natural to them, and thus it's healthier for them, even if for us it would seem unhealthy and horrible same way some people are allergic and thus have to eat foods appropriate for their own body.

If we don't respect someone else's right to choose how to react and handle situations around them with others, then we become just as bad as the person we label as a bully... because we've overstepped bounds by trying to force someone else to be how we want them to be. Now, if someone is doing something illegal or physically harming someone, then by all means step up and report it to the proper authorities whether the person gets mad at you or not... because it's the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean the authorities will act to do anything until the person themself requests help, but what you've done is assisted them, if and when they decide to request help from authorities.

JoyKing
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:39 PM
You seem like a sweet girl. You will make friends with the right people.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
alyssa1
by Member on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:42 PM

yes i have several on my friends list and we dont even talk and its always hard to find another person in or near my area.

Texascandee
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:46 PM

I don't have a problem making friends with other women, I just don't trust them for past experiences........if there is a bully in the group, I just avoid that one.  I can be friends with everyone but that doesn't mean I have to hang out or do things with all of them all the time.  Right now I have a good friend next door and one across the sidewalk that don't like each other.  I talk to both of them, we just don't do anything as a "trio".   I'm not just a one friend kind of person

KamisMommysGirl
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:46 PM

I do! this is because i speak my mind and I don't like anyone walk all over me.....if you respect me I will respect you though!! 


**MY KAMI IS GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER!**
morisa32
by Member on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:55 PM
This.

Quoting KamisMommysGirl:

I do! this is because i speak my mind and I don't like anyone walk all over me.....if you respect me I will respect you though!! 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Angelica46
by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 5:00 PM

 Are you referring to making friends in groups on this site or just in general?

I am very particular about friendships and don't mean to be but can't help it. I can be friends with just about anyone but only allow a very few to even get close to me. I've been hurt and lied to just too many times in the past so I keep my guard up on. If I click with a certain person instantly, I will pursue the friendship but if not, I will keep them as an acquaintance. Personally, I can't stand bullies and will speak up for myself. I figure if I don't speak up for myself, then no one else will and I refuse to get pushed around.  

atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 21, 2012 at 5:15 PM
I never have and I am over 50.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN