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Advice please?

Posted by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:36 PM
  • 29 Replies

 Iv posted about my situation but for you that do not know my husband and I recently took in his 6 year old brother.  Mom is having a rough patch. Evicted a few times.  The 6 yr old is now on his 3 school this year.  With everything going on he has started to pee the bed at night.  Understandable for all he has been through.  We only have a 2 bedroom apartment and my father has one room so we had the 6 yr old sleeping on an air matress but he was doing really good with his briefs and he would rather sleep on our love seat. plus it is easier clean up then takingt he air out every morning and putting it up and then blowing it up at night.  He is already extremely embarrased about wearing briefs at night and doesnt want ANY men knowing.  So im the only one who can talk to him.  I know getting bed chucks would help but i dont want to make his feel not normal.  We have tried no drinking fluids past 8pm and going to the bathroom before bed but he is just over flowing his briefs out of no where.  Any advice on what to do or how to approach him?

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:39 PM

 I would put a shower curtain under the sheet. At least until he outgrows wetting it will stop from ruining your couch. Not sure what you can do for him.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 14, 2012 at 6:50 PM
Get a waterproof mattress pad.
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1likeme
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I would ask him if anything is going on that is making him uncomfortable or upset. He has been through a lot and it would make sense that he is wetting the bed due to emotional trauma but I would make sure to find out if there was anything going on that I didn't know about.
caitipenn
by Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:27 PM

Honestly, I dont think he would tell us.  We tried asking what happened in his point of view. Because the eldest 17 yrs old ran away and told the school that their mom was beating them and when mad she would talk in a random no one could understand.  Apparently she did that in front of the principal.  That she does drugs.  The 17year old got picked by his father who lives in a different state.  Then there is the 13yr old who stayed with us for a bit and we sent him to the same dad as the 17 year old.  I think alot of it is abandoment issue.  Loosing his dad who hasnt been in his life since he divorced his mom, then his 17 year old brother, then his mom, then his 13 year old brother.  Plus all the different schools. Just alot of change in a small amount of time.  The school he goes to offers counseling for free so after he gets a little more ajusted we are going to have him start that.  The other day his mom called wanting to talk to him and he didnt want to talk to her it was heart breaking.  Then today he asked if he was going to live here forever.  The other day he asked what eviction was.  That was hard to explain to him but i think he understood for the most part. 

Quoting 1likeme:

I would ask him if anything is going on that is making him uncomfortable or upset. He has been through a lot and it would make sense that he is wetting the bed due to emotional trauma but I would make sure to find out if there was anything going on that I didn't know about.


twistandshout
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this

 Bless his heart. I hope he gets settled down soon. Everyone wants to "belong" and sounds like the little fella has had a really hard time. Maybe he could talk to a counselor at school. I think it may do him some good. Big hugs to him and for you and hubby for caring enough to take himgroup hug in ya'lls home. A little love goes a long way.

caitipenn
by Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:00 PM

Yes thank you.  I just feel bad because I cant give him his own space that he desearves.  Hopefully here in a week we will have found a house and can be moved by next month

Quoting twistandshout:

 Bless his heart. I hope he gets settled down soon. Everyone wants to "belong" and sounds like the little fella has had a really hard time. Maybe he could talk to a counselor at school. I think it may do him some good. Big hugs to him and for you and hubby for caring enough to take himgroup hug in ya'lls home. A little love goes a long way.


CountryLayne
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:08 PM
3 moms liked this

If he is under stress, which from the sounds of it he probably is, there isn't much you can do to stop the bedwetting. The best you can do for him is be understanding, be cautious in your approach- let him know you understand, and that you aren't angry with him.

You could possibly try talking with a dr.- there are medications out there that can help with this issue. If you aren't ready for that step, there are now pads available, made by Goodnights, that are peel and stick. You just put them on the mattress at night.


Punkie74
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:10 PM
Have you taken him to the doctor to see it there is any underlying medical problem?
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caitipenn
by Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:46 PM


Quoting Punkie74:

Have you taken him to the doctor to see it there is any underlying medical problem?

No we havent.  We just got him last Tuesday and just got his vaccine and physical paperwork from the last school and he is a little behind with that.  His mom is a no doctors no matter what kind of person.  All about home remedies and stuff like that.  Plus we have been having alot of problems because we dont have LEGAL paperwork saying we have custody or gaurdian ship.  We have asked his mother to give us something notarized so people know that we can make decisions but she has yet to do that.  Many people have been telling us to get the gaurdian paperwork but my hubby is afriad to step on his moms toes cause she wont see it as helping she will see it as we are taking her child from her.

Punkie74
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Ugh... I get that. My grandparents had the same issue with me. (Long story short. Mom died when I was 6 months, father asked grandparents to take me, father didn't want to turn over custody because he wanted to collect social security checks, grandparents were afraid to fight him because they were afraid he'd take me back) Can you convince you need a letter in case of a life or death situation like a car accident maybe? I'd still try to call the ped and see if they will see him even without the paperwork. (you never know right)

Quoting caitipenn:



Quoting Punkie74:

Have you taken him to the doctor to see it there is any underlying medical problem?

No we havent.  We just got him last Tuesday and just got his vaccine and physical paperwork from the last school and he is a little behind with that.  His mom is a no doctors no matter what kind of person.  All about home remedies and stuff like that.  Plus we have been having alot of problems because we dont have LEGAL paperwork saying we have custody or gaurdian ship.  We have asked his mother to give us something notarized so people know that we can make decisions but she has yet to do that.  Many people have been telling us to get the gaurdian paperwork but my hubby is afriad to step on his moms toes cause she wont see it as helping she will see it as we are taking her child from her.

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