This Christmas the space under the tree will be bare!!
- 80 Replies
Things were going great until my SO was laid off and as soon as he finds work again and we start seeing the rainbow his ex throws him in jail for being 3 months behind on CS..I am so upset. I am left with 4 kids, no car and no income coming in. I am desperately trying to find a job but it slooks bleak since I am limited to how far I can travel. They impounded our vehicle since he was arrested on his employers parking lot. I dont have the money to get him out nor do I have the money to pay his CS down to where he can get out.
I know he should have paid his CS..I wont say he was in the right by any means, but we financially couldnt and we told her that he didnt have a job!!! He was layed off and the unemployment wasnt covering the bills. In January when we file taxes she was going to get every penny owed to her. I think she did it vindictively and in the process of hurting us she has now hurt 5 kids..The one they have together and our 4.
I am just so angry..Angry at her, him and myself. I am so hurt that this Christmas they wont have their father around nor will they get any gifts because if I dont find work soon I am going to have to sign up on welfare. I have never had to use PA and I have put it off all week to sign up but I have no choice. I also got an application for the Angel Tree for my kids to get something for Christmas.
IDK how I am going to pay for the bills. I have already called to have our internet and things shut off, cell phone coz its not a necessity. So Cafe Mommies I probably wont be on here for a while.
I am so overwhelmed. How am I going to make it? I have 2 in diapers, electric, rent, try to get may car out of impound, gas, laundry HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS!!??
I have cried for 3 days/
He should have immediately filed with the court a change in monetary circumstances, the day he was laid off. And if he did not get an answer keep pushing to have a change based on monetary hardship. I feel for your situation and it will be hard, but you can do it. Good luck. HOpefully the court will have mercy if he can prove hardship.
You have absolutely no right to be angry at her, she did exactly what she should have done. He is legally responsible for his kids. If he couldn't pay for the kids he had, he shouldn't have had more. Although I do think it is counter productive to throw someone in jail, therefore taking away their ability to earn the money to pay you back, he reaped what he sewed.
Wanna join? Click the pic!
My ex bought a new crib for his baby is his expecting with his new wife and spent all this money on a huge shower for her last week instead of paying me child support. Their baby is not due until Feb he should have out money a side to save instead of blowing off his first obligations.
He said he would pay me this week but didn't because he had to pay his car payment. When I told him that he need to ask for an extension on his car payment and pay me he said "being late on my car will effect my credit being late on child support won't hurt a damn thing."
Except now MY bills will be late. My bills include putting a roof over our sons head!
It is also his turn to pay for DS medicine and he says he won't have the money until next Friday but DS will be out on Tuesday...
I wish I could feel badly for you, but I don't , I feel badly for your children. He had 1 child already for whom he has to pay child support, and you chose to have 4 together! 5 children and 1 income is crazy in this economy, where people are losing jobs left and right and the cost of basics is through the roof!
Nothing you have done is terribly smart, now your DH has a record, which is great on a resume, and unless you start changing the way you live, it is not going to get any better or any easier.
You need to find a life coach or a financial mentor. Do you go to church? Someone to help you sort our your heirarchy of needs and start making better choices. Christmas should not even be a concern at this point. Give your kids the gift of electricity and pay the bill.
Quoting Anonymous:
He should have immediately filed with the court a change in monetary circumstances, the day he was laid off. And if he did not get an answer keep pushing to have a change based on monetary hardship. I feel for your situation and it will be hard, but you can do it. Good luck. HOpefully the court will have mercy if he can prove hardship.
It doesnt matter in the state we live they base the CS as if you WERE working 40 hrs at minumum wage. So even the unemployed get high CS a month.
Quoting momto3B:
I wish I could feel badly for you, but I don't , I feel badly for your children. He had 1 child already for whom he has to pay child support, and you chose to have 4 together! 5 children and 1 income is crazy in this economy, where people are losing jobs left and right and the cost of basics is through the roof!
Nothing you have done is terribly smart, now your DH has a record, which is great on a resume, and unless you start changing the way you live, it is not going to get any better or any easier.
You need to find a life coach or a financial mentor. Do you go to church? Someone to help you sort our your heirarchy of needs and start making better choices. Christmas should not even be a concern at this point. Give your kids the gift of electricity and pay the bill. .
2 of my kids are not his..And i just recently lost my job when my DD had to be hospitalized and I didnt have any sick leave left so I pointed out and they denied me unemployment because they said child illness is not a reason to miss work, even though my SO at the time was working out of the state and only coming home weekends. He HAS kept up his CS until NOW! And he spoke to her and told her the situation and she said it was okay as long as he made it up at Tax time..then go and file a warrent against her..Crazy thing is he hasnt seen his DS in 3 yrs. She is in contempt of court because he is suppsoe to get him EVERY FRIDAY and every other Weekend. She stopped bringing him when we started dating, yet without a Lawyer they wont pick her up! Last year she begged SO to sign his rights over and at first he didnt agree then she kept saying things like well you will never see him as long as you are with that whore, I wont tell him you are his father, things like that. So he agreed. Then she backed out the day they were to go to court. So yea she does do things vindictively. Last yr we sent him Bday gifts she sent them back..My SO mother took presents to him for Christmas and they wouldnt answer the door so they left them on the porch. A few days late rthey went back and they were still on th eporch UNOPENED..She wants him to have NOTHING to do with his son but wants to take his money? NO I raised 2 kids alone..I didnt ask for a penny from theri father Still Dont. BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN LIKE THAT..
I do have my priorities straight hence the reason all $$ i have is going to bills to keep us up until i can find work.
Quoting ReadWriteLuv:
You have absolutely no right to be angry at her, she did exactly what she should have done. He is legally responsible for his kids. If he couldn't pay for the kids he had, he shouldn't have had more. Although I do think it is counter productive to throw someone in jail, therefore taking away their ability to earn the money to pay you back, he reaped what he sewed.
I agree he should but he called her and told her the situationa nd she agreed to just let him make it up come tax time then 3 days later file a complaint and have him arrested? It is counterproductive. And the reason I am angry at her is coz she agreed to the agreement. She is so mad and upset at him being with me although she left him, that she cant see straight. She tells him he cant see his child as long as hes with his whore, she has refused to let him see his DS in 3 yrs!! She is one of those if you arent with me, i am going to make your life hell kind of ppl and I told my SO to not trust her!
Quoting Anonymous:
You don't want to get me started...
My ex bought a new crib for his baby is his expecting with his new wife and spent all this money on a huge shower for her last week instead of paying me child support. Their baby is not due until Feb he should have out money a side to save instead of blowing off his first obligations.
He said he would pay me this week but didn't because he had to pay his car payment. When I told him that he need to ask for an extension on his car payment and pay me he said "being late on my car will effect my credit being late on child support won't hurt a damn thing."
Except now MY bills will be late. My bills include putting a roof over our sons head!
It is also his turn to pay for DS medicine and he says he won't have the money until next Friday but DS will be out on Tuesday...
But thats your fault..You should NEVER rely on child support to pay your bills..MY SO's Ex BTW holds a supervisiors position at a large factory. She makes $2200 a month according to the CS papers. She lives at home with her mom and dad and My SO willingly agreed to pay off her car as part of their CS agreement!!
She isnt hurting for money!! She did it to be vindictive..This situation and yours are totally different. My So and his family always send money, cards gifts for his sons Bday Christmas etc..She lives 15 mins away and wont let them see him unless he gets back with her. Thats the kind of person she is so EXCUSE ME FOR BEING ANGRY WITH SOMEONE WHO IS SO SELFISH THEY HURT CHILDREN IN THE LONG RUN!
Quoting Anonymous:
Quoting ReadWriteLuv:
You have absolutely no right to be angry at her, she did exactly what she should have done. He is legally responsible for his kids. If he couldn't pay for the kids he had, he shouldn't have had more. Although I do think it is counter productive to throw someone in jail, therefore taking away their ability to earn the money to pay you back, he reaped what he sewed.
I agree he should but he called her and told her the situationa nd she agreed to just let him make it up come tax time then 3 days later file a complaint and have him arrested? It is counterproductive. And the reason I am angry at her is coz she agreed to the agreement. She is so mad and upset at him being with me although she left him, that she cant see straight. She tells him he cant see his child as long as hes with his whore, she has refused to let him see his DS in 3 yrs!! She is one of those if you arent with me, i am going to make your life hell kind of ppl and I told my SO to not trust her!
$2200 a month isn't very much at all, especially not if you are supporting a child on your own.
Quoting Anonymous:
Quoting Anonymous:
You don't want to get me started...
My ex bought a new crib for his baby is his expecting with his new wife and spent all this money on a huge shower for her last week instead of paying me child support. Their baby is not due until Feb he should have out money a side to save instead of blowing off his first obligations.
He said he would pay me this week but didn't because he had to pay his car payment. When I told him that he need to ask for an extension on his car payment and pay me he said "being late on my car will effect my credit being late on child support won't hurt a damn thing."
Except now MY bills will be late. My bills include putting a roof over our sons head!
It is also his turn to pay for DS medicine and he says he won't have the money until next Friday but DS will be out on Tuesday...But thats your fault..You should NEVER rely on child support to pay your bills..MY SO's Ex BTW holds a supervisiors position at a large factory. She makes $2200 a month according to the CS papers. She lives at home with her mom and dad and My SO willingly agreed to pay off her car as part of their CS agreement!!
She isnt hurting for money!! She did it to be vindictive..This situation and yours are totally different. My So and his family always send money, cards gifts for his sons Bday Christmas etc..She lives 15 mins away and wont let them see him unless he gets back with her. Thats the kind of person she is so EXCUSE ME FOR BEING ANGRY WITH SOMEONE WHO IS SO SELFISH THEY HURT CHILDREN IN THE LONG RUN!
How would you punish your child if they bullied someone?
