A baby is supposed to make a couple grow stronger, right? But nobody anticipates baby blues or lack of passion between you and your lover?
That is what I'm feeling right now. I love my daughter and God knows I do not regret having her in my life at all. But as my life has been accustomed to change with no mercy, I feel my husband's life remains the same- except for occasionally making late night trips to get the baby what she needs or going to work to support 2 others besides himself. I love my husband for doing what he does. He doesn't always help out with diaper changes and feedings though.
We haven't been having the most sex. And we do have time whenever our 2 month old daughter falls asleep (she's almost sleeping through the night). Instead of intimacy, he plays online with friends. I never minded it before, but I hate to be the one to initiate things- even our 1st date night where we had sex once the whole time :( I was expecting more. We've only had sex twice this month so far. And it's beginning to feel routine to me. We always have sex in bed- but I crave the urge to be more spontaneous. Before we married, he shared some of his sexual experiences he had with his past lovers (believe me, I didn't want to know), but now that I know, I feel like our sex life is so... dull compared to what he's done before.
Our sex life has decreased but I've checked the browser history on his laptop, and I see he's been watching porn this past week. Not just one site, but many. I know I already feel unattractive, but why can't he just wake me up and initiate something rather than wait til he's done playing online to see porn and masturbate?
Then to top it all off, I am embarrassed to admit I'm 22 and do not have my license or car yet. So... I'm stuck at home all the time :( Meanwhile his life goes on. He goes to work, hangs out with friends at midnight releases for video games, watches porn, plays with his friends online almost every night. And here I am, feeling like I am on lock down with the baby. Don't get me wrong at all. I absolutely love my daughter, but if I had a car, license, and money (no job since I've had her), I'd be going to parks and clubs to meet other mothers. Plus the lack of sex has me cranky