Update..
Were still not talking mode. The thing is i cant wait any longer.. Four years.. He gets hs kids nice stuff.. Smart fon laptop...shes 11 and had expensive fon..had laptop.. Its ok..im happy he gets his daughter but when it comes to my family he gives me hard time
Quoting Tirednboredmom:Absolutely not! Stand your gournd. If your relationship does not work, he will be gone. your parents are yours forever.
Do you work? Or at you a stay at home mom?
This generally makes the difference, I know, I am going through something similar
Quoting twistandshout:No, he is the one that is wrong. He ignored your request time after time and you waited and waited for him to do what he said he would do. cuto's to you for standing up for yourself. He would just have to be mad.
Ignore him, and do what you KNOW is right. So what if he is mad. He sounds like he has a serious control issue problem. One of the ways the control is established is to cut off the connection between a woman and her family, who has been her emotional support. Another is to take control of the finances, leaving you dependent on him. You have both of those things going on. My husband would not ever have considered keeping me from doing for my parents. They are both gone now, but we always lived a distance from them. For years they lived in Indonesia, so I can relate. Respect for your parents is HUGE, and the regrets that will come if you do not do what you need to do to set up that communication with them are much more painful than his little childish snits and pouty silent treatment. My husband tried giving the silent treatment for a while till he realized I was enjoying not hearing him yammer about something he was mad about! It was like, "please, give me the silent treatment". I wish to goodness I could have set my parents up on skype, but they were overseas WAY before computers were even around. While we couldn't afford a ticket for me to go see them, when they moved back State-side, he bought me a new car so I would have a dependable way to travel to see them (1500 miles round trip). They are your parents, who have loved you and cared for you from the second they laid eyes on you, and they NEED to see their grand kids and their grandkids need to see them. Just out of curiosity, do you have friends close by for you to talk to? Does he control other things that allow you to have a life outside of the family?
Quoting GertieK:Ignore him, and do what you KNOW is right. So what if he is mad. He sounds like he has a serious control issue problem. One of the ways the control is established is to cut off the connection between a woman and her family, who has been her emotional support. Another is to take control of the finances, leaving you dependent on him. You have both of those things going on. My husband would not ever have considered keeping me from doing for my parents. They are both gone now, but we always lived a distance from them. For years they lived in Indonesia, so I can relate. Respect for your parents is HUGE, and the regrets that will come if you do not do what you need to do to set up that communication with them are much more painful than his little childish snits and pouty silent treatment. My husband tried giving the silent treatment for a while till he realized I was enjoying not hearing him yammer about something he was mad about! It was like, "please, give me the silent treatment". I wish to goodness I could have set my parents up on skype, but they were overseas WAY before computers were even around. While we couldn't afford a ticket for me to go see them, when they moved back State-side, he bought me a new car so I would have a dependable way to travel to see them (1500 miles round trip). They are your parents, who have loved you and cared for you from the second they laid eyes on you, and they NEED to see their grand kids and their grandkids need to see them. Just out of curiosity, do you have friends close by for you to talk to? Does he control other things that allow you to have a life outside of the family?
You husband is a controller. Because your family is in a different counrty, he is really trying to keep you isolated. If you can get one this year do so. I know walmart has some for a little at $300. If you can't now try to find a store with lay-away. Can someone else help youpurchase and you pay them back? Jus throwing out option. Hope you get to talk (Skype) them soon.
Quoting RLSMOM59:You husband is a controller. Because your family is in a different counrty, he is really trying to keep you isolated. If you can get one this year do so. I know walmart has some for a little at $300. If you can't now try to find a store with lay-away. Can someone else help youpurchase and you pay them back? Jus throwing out option. Hope you get to talk (Skype) them soon.
Your dh needs to grow up! Do not let him get away with this! Your family is just as important as his. My husband and I have been married for over thirty years. I have kids and he has kids. He would never deny me any kind of access to my family! How selfish is he! Do what you need to do to communicate with your family.
You know, unfortunately your parents are not going to be around forever. To miss out on seeing their Grandbabies is horrible. I am sorry but I think that your DH is just being selfish. This is something that you just need to do. Your not asking for some luxury, senseless item. This is family. Unless this is going to cause financial hardship, go for it. Let him cut back on what he does for his kids and help you do this. I know, easier said than done. Good luck.
The only reason his temper tantrums are working is because you are letting them. Let him pitch his fits. Look at it this way, if he isn't talking to you...you don't have to listen to his crap. enjoy the silence, and make it clear to him that it isn't bothering you. He has a problem, and my fear is that this kind of thing tends to escalate into other stuff. I hope he has never hurt you physically.... which is not uncommon for people like that. You need to not only make sure you follow through with getting your parents set up with the computer, but you also need to work on and establish some good, close girl friends. Do not allow him to continue to isolate you, because that gives him more control. When all you have is him, he is able to control every aspect of your life. While dedication to home, kids and family is wondeful.... having a connection to the world and friends and family is an extremely important part of a happy and fulfilling life. I wouldn't trade all the tea in china for my girlfriends. i love my husband, and he is wonderful... been married for almost 40 years... but it is my girlfriends who truly understand things from a woman's point of view. If he tries to stop you from doing these things, you need to consider that there is a much more serious problem that is just starting to surface.
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