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what is he hiding!?!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 65 Replies
So I'll try to keep this simple, but there's sort of a lot to say. I'm pregnant and maybe hormonal... But my husband is just downright shady with his phone. He sleeps with it under his pillow most of the time, keeps it with him almost constantly (on rare and random occasion he might leave it in a room with me unsupervised, but it almost seems contrived when he does), and there are several instances that he avoids opening texts or checking alerts if I can see his screen. Like this morning when we woke up, he had a text and didn't open it but rather just put his phone down quickly and checked it later when he could do it without me seeing it. Things like that happen from time to time.

I've caught him in a lie concerning buying painkillers twice now. Not a huge deal, he doesn't "abuse" them and our family isn't suffering from it... It's the dishonesty that infuriates me. He knows the one thing I've ever asked of him was honesty. I don't care what choices he makes, and I trust him to make responsible ones for the most part. Just don't lie.

Now here's the catch... He doesn't have time to be having an affair or anything like that. We literally spend all of our time together, except maybe an hour or so here and there. Always randomly and usually we both have one of the kids. So I don't think he's screwing around.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 5:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pristine729
by Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 5:26 PM
Do you trust him?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 5:33 PM
Sorry, my phone is screwy and I kept hitting post before I was done typing. Finished above. But to answer your question, no. If I did, I wouldn't be asking what he's hiding from me.

I sometimes think I'm being paranoid because I'm pregnant or because he lied those other times. And I tell myself he's always been that way about his phone, and he's given me "permission" to go through his phone any time I want. But it still doesn't add up.

Quoting pristine729:

Do you trust him?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:19 PM
No opinions??
No ideas how to handle it?
We're in an awkward place today with him knowing I'm mad and me not telling him why... But I'm not sure how to word it. I'm either going to come off as a complete bitch, or he's going to deny/explain/guilt me into feeling like I'm just being paranoid.

Anyone actually think I AM just being paranoid? I mean... It seems obvious to me that something is being hidden but I sometimes think its explainable...
EireLass
by Ruby Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:25 PM

You think he's not having an affair because you spend all your time together.

I was married to a man who had a 2 year long affair at lunchtime. This was before cell phones, but he was home at 4pm every day, and all weekend. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

pristine729
by Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:26 PM
Bump
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:30 PM
Sounds suspicious to me. And I believe where there is a will there's a way. Could be the drugs or something else, but definitely suspicious and I would question it.
DissieDothe
by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:35 PM

Once you accept the fact that everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie - all of this will come out.

Lunarprancer
by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:39 PM

This.  Good luck!

Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds suspicious to me. And I believe where there is a will there's a way. Could be the drugs or something else, but definitely suspicious and I would question it.


With light and love

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:48 PM


Quoting EireLass:

You think he's not having an affair because you spend all your time together.

I was married to a man who had a 2 year long affair at lunchtime. This was before cell phones, but he was home at 4pm every day, and all weekend. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

I'm not saying he's not having some sort of innappropriate thing with someone else. . . I'm saying he physically could not be doing it in person. In the past week, we've spent less than one hour apart. It's usually like that. IF we are apart, it's random and/or we each have a child with us. My kids are old enough to mention it if some other woman was around. We literally spend nearly every waking moment together. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I am saying that IF he were having a physical encounter, she must be very available and on very short notice. . . and not mind waiting weeks in between and only seeing him for a few minutes at a time.I've been the cheater in a relationship and I got away with it for years. I was never THAT good.

I feel like if anything, there MAY be some flirting going on with female friends and clients that he doesn't want me to see. But honestly I don't undestand why he can't just be cool about it. It's not going to bother me if that's what it is.

And if it's buying painkillers that he's hiding. . . I don't understand that either. We've had the issue twice now and I think he would be honest about it for fear of my leaving. He can either be honest and risk my being irritated about it or lie and risk me leaving him.  I almost divorced him the second time I found out, and said he had one more chance.

I don't know. None of it makes sense. I'm either right about him hiding something and I've been stupid for believing in him, or I'm wrong about him hiding something and I've just been a paranoid bitch on and off since almost the beginning.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2012 at 7:49 PM


Quoting DissieDothe:

Once you accept the fact that everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie - all of this will come out.

Well. That's a stupid assumption to make. But have a nice day anyway :)

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