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The Cafe The Cafe

Bash my selfish butt if necessery...

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:53 AM
  • 53 Replies
Ok, here's the deal...

I've been with my boyfriend for three years now and we've been talking about getting married for a VERY long time. So long that he gave me a date he'd propose by, because I started getting upset that he still hadnt asked. I kind of felt like he was just playing with my head, all talk, no action.
Anyway, he passed his own deadline and after two more months I finally broke down and said something, something I DID NOT want to do because I feel like that's making him marry me, even though I know he wants to.
He responded by telling me he's strapped for money and trying to Save, I asked him how much he'd saved at this point, because a few months earlier he told me I was going to be so impressed with how much he'd done. Well, come to find out he'd saved nothing. Apperently he traded stock, something alOng those lines but it turned out to only make him a few bucks??
Anyway, I got upset and told him, for the HUNDRETH time, that the price of the ring means squat to me. I rather it be fake anyway and save the money for more important things in our future. He literally acted shocked and told me I had never said that before, LIE! Well, then he started saying how now he can actively shop and get me a ring knowing he doesn't have to spend over a hundred bucks.
Here's my problem...he went out and spent over $500 about a year ago on a computer and literally days after saying how relieved his is not to have to spend a hundred bucks on a ring, he got his computer fixed, spending over $300 for it?!
So obviously he HAS the money, just for things he WANTS to spend it on.
I feel kind of selfish feeling this way, and feel free to put me in my place if I deserve it, but what the heck?! I feel like I don't mean enough for him to spend a hundred bucks on a ring that Im supposed to wear FOREVER! I didn't even expect him to, but now that he made it clear he's happy that he doesn't have to, I'm kind of pissed.
What do y'all think?
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sherry132
by Silver Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:55 AM
5 moms liked this

Going off my past experience, cut him loose, you deserve better. 

kagegirl
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:01 AM

I would cut him loose, as PP said. My DF proposed without a ring, which I understood since he was broke at the time. Now, I have had two engagement rings which we have had to sell to make ends meet. When I told him I could care less about the money, it's the presentation that mattered, he refused to buy me any old thing. "You are going to wear this for life, and I want you to be proud of it." He told me. We will more than likely be married before I get it, but I don't care, because he is the one for me, ring or no ring. Your man's blatant refusal to take an active step towards even trying to please you shows you how little he really cares.

maciymommieof3
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Momma22monkeys
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:15 AM
He puts much effort into everything else though. A LOT. This seems to be the one thing that he just can't get his crap together on but continues to literally try to engrave it in my brain that he's GOING to marry me and that I'm his world. I just don't get it.

Quoting kagegirl:

I would cut him loose, as PP said. My DF proposed without a ring, which I understood since he was broke at the time. Now, I have had two engagement rings which we have had to sell to make ends meet. When I told him I could care less about the money, it's the presentation that mattered, he refused to buy me any old thing. "You are going to wear this for life, and I want you to be proud of it." He told me. We will more than likely be married before I get it, but I don't care, because he is the one for me, ring or no ring. Your man's blatant refusal to take an active step towards even trying to please you shows you how little he really cares.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:17 AM

 Maybe because a computer is more important, in this day and age, than a ring? You say you do not care, but this rant says otherwise.

lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:17 AM
1 mom liked this

And he will always be this way ! Why do hyou want to be with him ? MOVE on his signals have been crystal clear. He isnt wanting to marry you.

AndrewsMommy01
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this

Drop his ass like a hot potato lol

Momma22monkeys
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:18 AM
Considering his behavior I'm starting to agree. My feelings are, frankly, hurt. I just don't understand how someone that acts as if I'm his universe could seriously not want to buy me a ring thats not $20!! It's weird to me.


Quoting maciymommieof3:

I think he is selfish and greedy!

RLT2
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this
He's stringing you along, that's what I think. Somebody that really wanted to marry you would have found a way to make it happen by now.
Momma22monkeys
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:20 AM
I don't care. It's just the fact that he's WILLING to spend more on other things! I dunno. It's not the price it's the thought. If that makes sense.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Maybe because a computer is more important, in this day and age, than a ring? You say you do not care, but this rant says otherwise.


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